What can't you eat when pregnant? just got bfp

[Newmom2b]

Hi all, I just got my bfp and was about to make a fried egg with my dinner but remembered that I probably shouldn't. My lo is nearly 3 so have forgotten and the do's and donts. Can you remind me? TIA x

That's even worse then! Sorry to hear that. So awful for you. I think people can be extremely insensitive I've had numerous occasions where I feel like I've had to explain myself to people but I've given that up now also for a while I avoided doing anything risky that I did in my last pregnancy it's probably fair to say I'm being over cautious which is ok as long as I don't have to justify it to anyone.

Whoops, mercury, not magneisum. Sorry all! Blame that on pregnancy brain!!

Emily Oster has a great matrix for fish. She plots mercury on one axis and omega 3 on the other.

High Mercury & Low Omega (best to worst option): Canned tuna, grouper, king mackerel
High Mercury & High omega (best to worst option): Halibut, sushi-grade tuna, Swordfish, shark
Low Mercury & Low Omega: Rock oysters, flounder, snapper
Low Mercury & High Omega: Salmon, Herring, Pollock, Catfish, Cod

Hopefully I've transposed the matrix properly. Hopefully Emily Oster doesn't mind me posting her very helpful research.

That's really interesting kmini, thanks. I had no idea that white fish could be high in omega 3 - thought it was just oily fish. Excellent.

at MC comments - as if pg women aren't paranoid enough!

Kmini that means my fish finger sandwiches are ok. I think I'm going to have one for lunch!

squizita some people are unbelievable.

Tonight after work I had 1/3 of a small sherry sized glass of 9% rose, spritzed with sparkling water - of which I drank half - and STILL got funny looks from people. Felt like giving them the fingers.

Its jsut ignorance. I have to admit, before I started reading about what are the dos and don'ts I would have assumed you cannot drink alcohol. It is such a common misconception!!

I had no idea about the plethora of research out there & there stupid/dumbed down guidelines that are presented to expecting mothers and society as a whole.

Long and short, anyone that has proprely researched the issue, will know exactly what moderation is. If someone is giving you a weird look, they are either a) someone that has absolutely no idea b) someone who has done the research and feels the need to make others feel bad.

Don't let it get you down Gennz.

Here is an example (sorry a bit off topicf! need to off load!). I am a lawyer and I was emailing a solicitor at one of the firms I instruct about a seminar we're doing. He suggested we meet up for a "beer or a coffee" to discuss the seminar. He is slightly younger than me but has a couple of kids. I've known him for a couple of years in a professional capacity and we get on well.

I said "I can have ONE beer (which really, whats the point) as am actually 12 weeks pregnant. Any tips? (on parenthood, not being pregnant, which I assume you have no experience of)."

He responded:"Congratulations! That is very exciting. My first tip of parenthood is not to drink while youre pregnant. While children with foetal alcohol syndrome look very cute and pixie-like, its not worth it in the long run"

Am I getting irrationally ragey with the pregnancy hormones or is this f#cking annoying and uncalled for? I'm positive there was no ill intent, he is a nice guy, but the patronising nature of the comment plus the ignorant conflation of one beer with FAS really wound me up! If it was a friend I would put them straight but it's slightly more awkward in this situation.

Whaaaaat?! The comment about children with FAS is jaw dropping. I'd hit him back with some measured Oster-facts complete with quoted statistics and 'reassure' him in a non-PA way that you are extremely well versed in the many and complex risks during pregnancy and in as knowledgeable position as is possible in 2014 to assess those risks for yourself to ensure the safest outcome. The NOBBER.

That's well out of order! I've just been to a gig and had half a lager and a few sips of DH's too with no negative comments but none of the people I was with have kids and strangers wouldn't notice I'm or pregnant yet. I'd tell him his comments are offenders and ill -informed!

Offensive not offenders!

Although I'd be sorely tempted to reply "Ah shit, really? So maybe last weeks' 24hr Absinthe bender wasn't such a good idea then... Oops."

Glad I am not being totally irrational! I love your response Vivi

My very experienced obstetrician's advice was "Studies show that 15 drinks or more in one sitting, and you're looking at a risk of FAS. Below that, you're knocking off IQ. So you can make the judgement on that - how many IQ points are you comfortable losing? You two seem intelligent enough, you could probably drop a couple" (He was joking. I think.) "And my personal advice would be if you're going to have a drink, make sure it's a good drop." I love him.

What also pisses me off is that I was an obsessive POAS-er, so I realised I was pregnant about a week and a half after I concieved and regulated my alcohol intake accordingly - far earlier than many people would.

His comments are offenders amy!!

I've inhaled salami and calamari at times in this pregnancy. Food advice is a bit different here in the Netherlands, it's not as restrictive. The only thing I have watched is rare meat in restaurants as a medium steak tends to come out on the blue side!

Not that it makes much difference for me as my diet is so limited anyway. The amount of McDonald's I've eaten and the diet cokes I've had make me weep but at 38 and a bit weeks so far so good. I keep within the guidelines for caffeine as much as I can. Think I only went over once.

It's about being sensible and good advice from squizita about what is recommended in your country. gennz that is how rude!

OMG Gennz! That is horrendous. You have to put him straight.

Gennz in all seriousness if he worked in my team I would have him in my office like a shot!!

Genz, let me get this straight, you are his client and he spoke to you like that? I think, in all honesty, my response would depend on my seniority and the importance of his firm to my employer.

I wouldn't give him loads of facts. Why should you waste your time educating him? It's not your job nor your responsibility. I'd say something like:

Thank you for the response, but you must have misread my email. I said one beer, not levels where FAS is relevant. I thought lawyers were meant to have an eye for detail. Hope you'll do better than that at our seminar

Or something along those lines. Tells him to fuck right off without massively engaging or spelling it out. If he followed up and argued his point, I would report him to his supervising partner (assuming he isn't one).

If you are very very senior - thinking of a client I knew and how she would respond, she would say

I didn't say I was drinking heavily and you are clearly very misinformed about FAS. I find it offensive that you choose to lecture me in this way as I am very well informed on this subject and I am your client not a child. I hope you will see fit to apologise.

Yes I'm his client - he's not in my team. Sadly I've missed the opportunity to set him straight (this email was a couple of days ago). English is his second language so perhaps it was a joke that misfired. Still massively patronising and uncalled for.

I told work this week, and have been fielding comments on food & alcohol ever since! Today I had sushi for lunch and one of our accountants (who I'm friendly with) made a face and said "should you be eating that?" I smiled at her and said "my specialist is fine with it, so fuck off"

Gennz I would be bloody livid! As a lawyer he should be able to read research papers and not just believe headlines. And the pixie-like comment is just jaw-dropping.

To be honest, even my DH, who I have explained all the Emily Oster research to (quite a few times), still says "Kmini are you absolutely sure its ok to have a glass of wine" when I have a my weekly small glass. He is jsut being over protective & cautious (& frustrating that he doesn't listen to the things I explain to him)!!

In another example, a very well educated and successful friend of mine didn't drink a drop. Not that she was a drunkard before, but she enjoyed a drop as must as the next gitl. I've never really asked her reason being strict, as its her totally her choice (each to their own with what you feel comfortable with). However, her husband proudly told me his wife didn't touch a drop during pregnancy. His pride told me that it was a alcolhol is wrong during pregnancy stance.

I suppose my point is, society is always telling people that alcohol is not ok, so its really ingrained in people's mind. Each to their own, I say. However, I do feel I almost have an obligation to educate those around me when the issue comes up!

The thing that gets my goat is the fact that total strangers, mere acquaintances and even colleagues feel they have the right to comment. I used to have colleagues who smoked. Smoking kills - for a fact. Did I wander up to them on a regular basis and lecture them or question their decision every time they popped out for a fag? Nope. Yet it's ok, and 'just concern' every time someone does it to a pregnant woman.

The only person who has a right to comment on your decisions is a HCP involved in caring for you. TBH, although DH has more right to comment than most, I'd be pretty peed off if he repeatedly questioned me or felt he could take an instruction-stance too. Not that DH ever did.

Good point about the smoking comparison, Penguins

In other news, I was seriously concerned about how I was going to get through the summer without cider. I'm not a big drinker whatsoever but love a cider on a summer evening, especially when we're camping and have just sat down after pitching the tent on the first night, it's quite ritualistic for me.

So anyway, this weekend I found 1% cider at Waitrose, it's a revelation. Not like sickly alcohol free Koppaberg or other fake ciders, it's a proper crisp dry cider. If you like cider, try it, it's marvelous.

Bloody hard work keeping the massive LOW ALCOHOL label on the down-low from my camping buddies who are not yet privy to my being in the family way... But the unsubtle label ought to help though further down the line when the secret is out and I'm trying to avoid with the kinds of reactions mentioned in this thread!