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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Scared... Symptoms or not?

18 replies

littleemma1 · 16/05/2014 22:07

Hi all
I would never usually do this, but I am at a serious level of scared now.
I'm 22, have been with my boyfriend nearly 4 years and I am terrified I might be pregnant. It's just not the right time and I am not sure how it could have happened as I take my pill religiously (however I do know they are not 100% effective)
I carried my pill on for 2 months as had a special trip away with a friend that involved a lot of out and about and I didn't want to have to worry about Auntie Flo.
My last pill from the 2 packets should have been Thursday 22nd, but I have had to stop it yesterday as I am really not right.
Sunday/Monday my boobs started to hurt, and now I dread the point where I have to take my bra off, I am so unbelievably tired I can barely keep my eyes open past 9pm and I have started to get serious back pain. I am also ravenous.

Now all of these symptoms I usually get before a period, but no where to the extent I have them now. So this has me worried, and I need advice on when would be best to test, if anyone thinks this could be pregnancy or is this going to be a bad period. Confused.com does not even cover it.
Thanks in advance.

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littleemma1 · 16/05/2014 22:31

Also to add to this; I could happily kill someone right now as my moods are so up and down.

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FastWindow · 16/05/2014 22:41

OK. Tbh, you sound pg.

So on the positive side. You've been with your bf for four years and presumably been dtd for most of that time. Statistically speaking, if you are pg, it's his.

The best time to do a test is ASAP but you know that. Tesco do a cheap two pack. You don't need an expensive brand, both my bfps were courtesy of tesco. If you hurry, you might get to a seven eleven tesco express. Pg can be picked up at a week, and it sounds like you are six to eight weeks gone.

On the negative side, if - even though you have been with him for four years - is not the right time for you, check out Marie Stopes. They are non judgmental.

Try not to kill anyone in the meantime Grin

alita7 · 16/05/2014 22:44

You do sound pregnant, but they are all things I've heard of people having when not pregnant!

Taking a test is the only way to know.

I have heard though that some people find that if they stay on the same pill for 4-5 years then it starts to become less affective- not sure if this is true, but maybe this is what's happened?

littleemma1 · 16/05/2014 23:25

Hi
Thanks for the feedback so far. Probably not what I was wanting to hear though!
I'm so new to this I'm not entirely sure what all the abbreviations mean but I think I got the gist of it. Lol.
I know they say that some women just "know" they are pregnant, and I honestly think that if I test it's going to come back positive, I'm convinced of it. I don't know if that's because of all the googling I've done and the fact that it sounds like I am so I am convincing myself of it as I'm so scared, or if at the back of my mind I truly know.
Unfortunately it's not so simple for me to just take a test. I still live at home (see, we can't even afford a cardboard box to live together, let alone a baby) and if my Mam found out, well I just couldn't cope. My mam suffered several miscarriages and lost another baby too, so to her pregnancy and children is the biggest blessing, and she just wouldn't understand my views of not wanting a child yet. Which to be fair, I can see why. So, my problem is I have to wait until I get to my boyfriends house. But living with parents means there's never any privacy. It's just so complicated and over thought of in my poor tired little brain.
I've only been on this said pill for a year, however I'm not sure whether it's the best one for "preventing pregnancy". I was on microgynon but that didn't agree with me so they put me on logynon.
I honestly don't know how I feel right now, apart from I am so scared to test as I am so convinced its going to be positive.
Thanks again.

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FastWindow · 16/05/2014 23:28

Are you in Ireland op?

FastWindow · 16/05/2014 23:34

Oh and sorry for the abbreviations.

Pg - pregnant.
Bf-boyfriend
Dtd-doing the deed (sex) (although I could be wrong about that exact one)
Bf- big fat positive (as in pregnancy test)

Sorry for the text speak.

Hth (hope that helps)

Smile
littleemma1 · 16/05/2014 23:38

No I'm not in Ireland, I live in North East England.

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littleemma1 · 16/05/2014 23:39

Ps. Thanks for the descriptions. Massive help!

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FastWindow · 16/05/2014 23:43

I have no battery, but in going to wait ten minutes and then tell you what I think you should do. Feel free to ignore me of course Smile

littleemma1 · 17/05/2014 00:04

I'll not ignore you! I'm sitting waiting! Xx

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FastWindow · 17/05/2014 00:19

OK so. First thing tomorrow you get a test from tesco. You can find the privacy to do it, just run the shower. Or say you are having a nice long soak. Whatever the routine is in your house.

Doing the test doesn't change what is, it just kind of brings you into the next stage of what you need to think about. I know it's really hard, you sound quite together, and sensitive to your mum's views. However. She is your mum, and that means she is there for you thick and thin. So think very carefully before you go ahead and do the next thing.

Scenario - you test positive, you're pregnant, is not just a bad reaction to a new pill.

You seem to say you don't want to start a family just now. That's OK. It's your choice. But do make sure it is your opinion, not other people's. If you are pregnant and you decide to terminate, you should consider this : how does your bf feel about it? And will he support your decision, because if he doesn't, you will need your mum all the way. Which is why I'm advising thinking carefully about keeping your mum in the dark.

You're not 16. You are a responsible adult (although this kind of situation makes you wish you were 12 again and had no other worries than what the number one was this week) That means you have the right to stand up and say what you want to do about your situation. But you need the information to do so. So my advice is this.

Do the test.
Find out how to terminate ( speak to gp, then Marie Stopes)

Then, armed with information, talk to your bf, and then, your mum.

I really feel for you. You're not the first and you won't be the last. Just, make sure you know exactly how you feel before allowing everyone else to weigh you down with their opinions on what you should do with your life. Including the anti-choice brigade.

FastWindow · 17/05/2014 00:20

Sorry it took so long! It was a very considered post, from experience hard earned. X

littleemma1 · 17/05/2014 01:34

Hi.
Thank you for that advice. It really did help. After a lengthy conversation with my boyfriend, we have decided to take a test together tomorrow and go from there.
We are literally going "to cross that bridge if we come to it"
That's the approach we're taking.
I'll be sure to update as soon as I know the outcome.
But what I do know is that I have a fabulous boyfriend who will support me whatever.
Thanks again.

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MrsCouchman · 17/05/2014 14:27

Hope you get the answer you want x

littleemma1 · 17/05/2014 19:48

Hi guys.
Just a quick up date to say it was a false alarm (a large one at that!)
I did two tests just to make doubly sure!
My boyfriend and I have had rather long discussions in that kids will most definitely be a part of our future, just not right now. We are no where near where we want to be financially to have children, but it's amazing to know we have a future together and hopefully will one day have kids.
I also want to say thank you so much for the advice. At what was a terrifying worrying time it helped put a bit of perspective on things, and helped me decide what we would have done had the test came back positive tonight.
Take care, and thanks again.
Emma.

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Casmama · 17/05/2014 19:52

So glad you got the result you wanted and have a supportive boyfriend too.

FastWindow · 19/05/2014 17:48

Ah that's great. So glad for you. It's a massive wake up and not one you may have wanted at just 22 but what a fantastic positive (see what I did there) outcome - you have the support from your bf that you hoped for. And a bit of a life plan. Is not easy to get men to talk about abstract possibilities, but when it was on the table, he didn't let you down.

Just a final bit of food for thought. If you wait until you think you're financially ready for kids, you'll never have any!! Grin

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/05/2014 07:37

Glad you've got the answer you wanted. If pregnancy would be such a problem you'd be thinking of termination, is it not worth doubling up on contraception, ie using condoms as well as the pill?

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