Mother coming to stay

4 replies

Tinasan · 30/08/2006 14:21

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and live in London, my parents are up in Scotland. Was on the phone to my mum last night who informed me that she'd come down 3 weeks before the baby is due, and stay until a couple of weeks after. Am horrified - although obviously I want her to come and see the baby when it's born, and even to come after to stay for a while and help (although my mum's idea of helping will be to commandeer the baby while I get on with my housework) - I really want it to be just me, my husband and the baby at home together for the first week after I come out of hospital. I would like to suggest to my mum that she stays at a hotel around the corner just for that week but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Does anyone have any experience of this - am I being unreasonable and rude? I just feel that it will be a sensitive and special time for me and my husband and I don't really want to be walking on eggshells around my mum 24 hours a day.

Any advice appreciated!
Thanks

OP posts:

Northerner · 30/08/2006 14:30

Hi Tinasan! I had a similar problem with my Mum too when I had my ds. YOu have to be firm really and do what you want to do. Why not ask her to come when baby is 1 week old and tell her that she will be much more of a help then when dh is back at work?

Good luck!

TheLadyVanishes · 30/08/2006 14:33

I think you need to be honest and tell her, I did this when i had dd, told everyone they could visit whilst in hospital but they needed to let us have a few days to ourselves to enjoy and get used to being a 'family' and to get to know dd and they did, saying that all my family live near me.

good luck

geordiemacminx · 30/08/2006 14:37

Tinasan;

Mothers really are a nightmare.... IMO if you dont feel like you can talk to her than the chances are you probably cant.. and anything you do say will be twisted round until you appear to be ungrateful/unkind/selfish/horrible/totally responsible for world famine etc etc etc. I have a great relationship with my mum but whenever I have a difference of opinion or try and suggest something then I am always always in the wrong. I guess its just one of those facts of life. I agree with Northerner though.. try playing on the "I dont know how I'm going to cope when dh goes back to work.. could really do with the extra help then.." "It would be really nice for us to have mother daughter time"... all else fails then you could resort to underhand measures of blaming dh.. explain that he would like some time just the 3 of you while he is on paternity leave?

sleepfinder · 30/08/2006 14:41

I had a friend whose mother did the same. She was terrified of the very thought, but said afterwards, she really valued her being around to watch the baby when she needed a nap and that she was really supportive and non-interferring. I guess it very much depends on the character of your mother and her intentions?

Flip