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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Boyfriend freaking out at me.. What shall I doooo :(

9 replies

Hannahs25 · 16/05/2014 18:39

Hello fellow people..

I'm currently 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant, I have type 1 diabetes and my blood sugars have been going soo low making me feel really poorly. I have previously had a horrible misscarriage 4 months ago. My partner has turned around to me and said he needs time to get his head around me being pregnant and hasn't seen me. I am completly shattered by this as this is the time I need his support the most. Anything I can do to make myself feel better about this situation or just words of encouragement?

Lots of love x

OP posts:
Namechangedforhissake · 16/05/2014 19:49

(Hugs) to you, no real advice but didn't want to read and run

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy!

It takes time to get used to such a massive change, were you trying for a baby? It's a huge shock to men to find out it's really happening even if they thought they were prepared for it. Give him some space but also send him a message saying you'd appreciate his support as it's not just him this is affecting.

My dp was similar but is fab now our baby is nearly here! It can take time

So sorry about your miscarriage xxx

redandchecker · 16/05/2014 20:07

I'm so sorry OP you don't need this do you ! Thanks

Was he there for the miscarriage? Maybe he is terrified that would happen again. With this pregnancy I really took it out on DP how terrified I was of miscarrying again. Fear does strange things to you! But still, you are right - you need the support.
Is there any chance that you may be granted an early scan considering your history. You could take your partner along and he may feel better when seeing the baby on screen, and you will too.

How long has he not seen you for? I would try talking to him to see what's going on, you shouldn't be left in limbo for too long.

I hope he starts to support you soon

VJONES1985 · 16/05/2014 20:14

Hi there. I am also type 1 diabetic and had some quite serious hypos at the beginning, like you. I would say to persevere though - keep a v close eye on your levels and adapt your insulin accordingly, as you normally would. My diabetes settled down by the second trimester and it's only now, in week 26, that I've started to need huge doses of insulin (which is normal in pg). Keep at it :-)

redexpat · 16/05/2014 21:31

How did he react to the mc? It sounds like he is terrified of what is to come, the unknown etc. Are there any good books for dads to be? Do you ythink he would read one? Becoming a parent is a massive adjustment, and your relationship is quite likely to change. He will have to do more taking care of you too. This all needs mental prep, but yes it would have been better if he had done this before you got pg.

Original poster
Hannahs25 · 16/05/2014 22:42

Thankyou everyone for your lovely and such supportive messages, I'm afraid I don't know how to tag a name and reply to each one of you, basically he has not seen me for a few days now and we see each other a lot, we live between mine and his. He has been there for support through my last misscarraige and has said he's scared but he's telling me he needs space to get his head round this. I will ways give him the space he needs but I need his support now more than ever as this time in my last pregnancy was when I lost the baby. Very emotional time for me. I'm keeping busy at the moment and not letting things get to me but it's hard. We didn't plan this baby but fate has happened now, I just wish he would come round to what's happening rather than leave me in limbo wondering wether he is going to support me or not. It's not like he's a teenager facing this, he is a 30 year old man. I love him unconditionally and need his support but right now he needs time and it's hurtful to me, especially with my blood sugars being so mental and making me poorly. Thankyou for the congratulations, I just hope he realised that me and the baby are his little family now. X

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/05/2014 07:49

Is there anyone else in RL who can support you?

SicknSpan · 17/05/2014 10:01

Do not love him unconditionally, please please please! That's just carte blanche for him to behave however he likes and to know you'll take it. He has to earn and deserve your love.

But I agree with other posters, this can take ages to get your head round so be kind and give him a bit of space. You might be over the moon but he may not, especially as this wasn't planned, and it will take a while to sink in.

Have you been together long?

kitty555 · 17/05/2014 10:11

Hannah I am sorry to hear this. As others have said maybe he really just needs a few days to get his head round. I hope that's the case as you as a type 1 do need some support during pregnancy. I am a type 1 for almost 35 years already and me and my hubby are currently ttc#1 so can't comment on what it's like being pregnant, sorry. Are you on fb? There is a fab group called "The Sugar Mummy" where there are loads of other diabetic ladies in and I am sure they are more than happy to give advice and help with tips and tricks. I hope your bf gets in touch with you soon, have my fingers crossed for you. And congrats on your pregnancy Smile xx

Original poster
Hannahs25 · 17/05/2014 20:23

I am being nothing but kind to him at the moment, giving him the time and space he needs, he's messaging me quite often checking how I am and if I'm feeling okay, he says goodnight and that he loves me, so all the care he is showing at the moment is showing me that he does love me and cares and that he will come round to this and it is only time he needs.

Okay maybe saying I love him unconditionally was a different type of words, however I don't let him treat me like crap and we respect one another the same, it's just hard having the time apart, but it is true with the saying, "distance makes the heart grow fonder" as he's being really lovely at the moment.

I do have others to talk to about this, such as family and friends but also hearing from you guys are helping lots so thankyou for all your support.
Yes maybe having a scan and having him present will help too, I have in about 4 weeks time, however being a diabetic I should have had one by now but my past experiences are stopping me from going at the moment but I'm taking such good care of myself! He hadn't read any books but I think that's because he needs to get his feeling straight about this before he reads detailed pregnancy stuff.

Any support or opinions from everyone is amazing and so helpful so thankyou all you lovely people! :) x

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