Obese, pregnant, and terrified.

[KateTheHuman]

I really wanted to lose weight before becoming pregnant. I lost a bit in a few months but am still at 19st. In the back of my mind I didn't think I could get pregnant. But here I am, after a couple of nights of drunken tomfoolery, pregnant. I'm really really happy and can't wait to be a mum if everything goes ok but I've just got it in my head that something is going to go wrong. I haven't seen a doctor yet purely for the reason I haven't got one yet. Haven't been to a doctor for 13 years! So that's another scary step for me. I'm just expecting them to just shake their heads that I dare become pregnant while obese. That's what I'm expecting from my parents too. I'm worried about telling them. I'm worried about a miscarriage although that's what I'm preparing myself for. I'm just scared I'm killing my baby already. I want to do everything I can to make sure my baby is healthy but I just think I'm too late. Sorry for carrying on. Just wanted to see if anyone ever felt the same as me.

Hi! It is completely usual to feel overwhelmed when pg. (overweight or not!) I was overweight with my first pg and obese (I suspect but too scared to weigh) with my second. I'm now better off than I've been for years. Lost weight. Exercising. Feel better.
You totally deserve this baby. Please don't let anyone make you feel bad at all. They may want to monitor you a little more closely but that is just to keep you both safe.
Congratulations and hope you make it to the GP soon and they are lovely!
Look after you both!

Thanks Balloon! I suppose I can't be that bad then. Hee.

It's so nice to tell people here about being pregnant. I can't wait to tell friends and family now :)

Thanks foodie! I haven't got round to learning all the abbreviations yet :) I'll see what my doctor says about scans. And thank you! I feel like I should miss alcohol more but I don't miss it at all so far.

Thank you Wolfie! It's great to know other people have been in the same situation and had great outcomes :)

In my first pregnancy I was an overweight size 16-18. Didn't realise I was pregnant for 8 weeks, at which point I'd been on holiday and drunk lots of cocktails, eaten oozy cheese, rare steak etc. Perfectly healthy pregnancy, water birth in MLU, no diabetes or any other weight related problems.

Second pregnancy, I was a healthy BMI and eating well, didn't drink whilst TTC, regular exercise etc. I miscarried at six weeks.

Third pregnancy I was a bit overweight but a pretty healthy size 14. Severe sickness limited me to a very unhealthy diet of crisps, lemonade and oranges for 23 weeks. I had to be induced at 37 weeks in hospital due to prolonged rupture of membranes.

So my healthiest pregnancy didn't coincide with my best state of health. Now you are pregnant, you can take steps to look after yourself and baby as well as possible, but no point beating yourself up for the way things are. I agree with a pp that pregnancy and birth can really improve the way you regard your body and are a good incentive to treat yourself well. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Kate congratulations on your pregnancy!

My job involves meeting dozens of pregnant women a week. Many have very high BMI. What strikes me most about your post is the fact that you are aware that your current weight is not a healthy weight to be especially when pregnant. That is a HUGE deal imo! I have met so many women who refuse to accept their weight is a problem. You are not one of those women - you have the wellbeing of both your baby and and yourself at the top of your priorities, you are going to be a great mum!

I agree with other posters that this pregnancy could be the start if a new you. I have met women who are very overweight in their first pregnancy and they come back a couple of years later in their second pregnancy looking a lot slimmer and healthier.

Another poster very rightly pointed out that you are likely to see comments such as "high BMI", "BMI++" in your notes, particularly on scan reports. This is necessary to record in your notes as unfortunately, image quality during a scan is greatly reduced in women with high BMI. It is a good idea to be prepared to see such comments in your notes as pregnancy hormones can make you easily upset!

Your biggest risk is gestational diabetes. You will be put under consultant led care and given lots of advice about diet. In most cases, GM can be avoided by being careful with what you eat. You sound like you have your head screwed on so I'm sure you have no problems!

weebigmamma it is not scaremongering. Women with high BMI are put under consultant led care and given extra scans/monitoring for a reason. Yes women of any size can encounter complications, and indeed there are problems associated with low BMI too, but the simple fact is that statistically, larger women are more likely to experience problems. It is because we keep a close eye on things for these woman that the vast majority have healthy, safe deliveries.

Good luck with the pregnancy Kate, really hope the nausea passes soon! I was flat out on the sofa for weeks, it is truly awful! Eat little and often and keep hydrated was the only thing I found helped in any way. Let us know how tour first appointment goes

Congrats on the pregnancy

I didn't have this problem myself so don't have much advice other than to say I really enjoyed doing keep fit classes in the local swimming pool when I was pregnant. There were a lot of overweight women there. I kept it up until quite late in the pregnancy.

Might there be free classes available?

I put on more than I should have with my first pregnancy and found breastfeeding, keep fit DVDs and lots of walking meant the weight came off really quickly

I wonder if you thought it might be useful to get a referral to a nutritionist? ( or if it's even possible?). Then they could advise you on how to ensure you don't put on any supply's weight during the pregnancy.

Good luck

Thanks Cold. I'll do whatever I can to help my baby be healthy. I don't mind extra care or anything like that (if fact that sounds great that I may be monitored more closely). I don't even mind any note about my weight as long as it's all done....in a straight forward manner....if you know what I mean. I don't want any snarky looks or comments. But from peoples' experiences it seems like that's mostly been ok. So I'll just cross my fingers for that. Thank you for the support and I'll keep you posted!

Jelly I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It goes to show you can't predict anything. :( Thank you for posting!!

Thanks for the advice ApoqA. I don't think swimming is a viable option for me as I hate public pools but hopefully I'll get back into my walking when I feel more energised. I miss walking.

I agree, public pools can be a bit grim and I hate chlorine. Walking is really good too.

Yes to breastfeeding for shedding pounds! Seriously I ate cream cakes every day in the first few weeks and it still dropped off me! Trouble is stopping when you don't need the extra calories anymore!

Hey ladies

I am overweight and pg as well with first baby (weighed at 15st10lb this morning). I'm 7+3 pg and went to my GP today - I must admit I went in expecting a load of grief and to be told I'm too overweight to have a baby but once I told him why I was there he simply said... "ok, no problems" went on to tell me that I will be monitored by mw due to weight but not to worry as otherwise I am healthy and no reason to suspect any problems will arise. Gave me a higher dose of folic acid and wished me luck in the pregnancy!

OP - embrace your pregnancy and enjoy it! As my GP said, look after yourself as it's the last time you'll have a chance to once baby arrives! Good luck!

Just wanted to reiterate what everyone else has said, with Ds my BMI at booking was 37 and with current pregnancy it was 38 (although have some how managed to lose 3kg since then) I have found everyone I have dealt with lovely. I didn't have to have a GTT the first time but will this time as DS weighed over 4.5kg

I'm also taking part in a research study this time that is looking at obesity in pregnancy which I'm quite excited about, it involves a few extra check ups but I don't see that as a bad thing!

Ooh that study sounds good Sazhoopz! And congrats on your pregnancy!!!

I registered at a doctors today. My first appointment to see anyone is with the midwife on the 30th May. How exciting! I think I'm gonna be at least 9 weeks by then. Guestimate though. :-)

Awww what a sad post you have the same right to be a mum as someone who weighs 10 stone. Of course there are more risks involved, but that doesn't mean you are any less of a fab mum to be.
See you GP ASAP get the folic acid - think you have to have a higher dose than over the counter and from right now start to make changes to your diet. There's no better inspiration to lose weight & get healthy than being pregnant.
I guess the risks involved include a higher blood pressure so increased risk of pre eclampsia, and gestational diabetes. These will be monitored like any other pregnancy (slimmer people get these 2). Your GP may refer you to a nutritionist and help you get all the right vitamins and calorie intake for you & your baby. You'l will be advised to put on minimal weight through pregnancy. You could start some very light exercise - walking everyday is brilliant, maybe a swim if your up to that.
You may get stick from your GP but the fact is your not in denial you know your overweight & it's not ideal & you sound really to do something about it.
I worked with overweight / obese women for 7 years & know how hard it is to change. Forget diets it's a long term lifestyle change that works.
We always used to start women off by advising them to write a food diary for 2 weeks. Include every single thing (drinks included) that you eat. You don't have to show anyone for it to help. By seeing in black and white what your eating daily is enough for a lot of women to really understand where they need to make changes. The next 2 weeks do it again with even small changes to start with.
I stopped working in this industry a year and a half ago to have my little one but am passionate about it so always happy to chat on private message and even help with good diaries. I'm also pregnant again so totally understand the need to eat junk for 9 months.
I had a total aversion to all fruit and veg for 3 months this time round - the only food I could stomach was pizza and quality streets!!! I put on a fair amount of weight early on but got back to eating properly as soon as I could and am now 30 weeks and on course to put on under 2stone by term.
Anyway I'm going on Stop stressing and focusing on your weight. Get away from the scales, focus on the nutritional value of what your eating, everytime you eat literally ask yourself what the food is doing for your body. If it's good stuff eat it, if you keep answering it's just saturated fat & doing more harm than good chuck it out, eventually eating well will become a habit /way if life.

And most of all enjoy your pregnancy Congratulations xxx

I felt just the same way as you, I panicked so much my old eating disorder kicked in, until I got the courage to ring the midwives, I ended up sobbing down the phone, telling her how terrified I was to eat as I felt every calorie I took in was hurting my baby (even typing this out has made me cry again, the emotions were that strong - my DS is 4 months old now). I felt so guilty, but she was lovely and took the time to talk to me and reassure me. All the staff (except one) were lovely and polite so try not to worry. You may find you lose weight without trying, I haven't weighed myself since giving birth but my wedding ring is now too big and it fitted me pre-pregnancy.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

I was obese at the start of my pregnancy and was always worried people would be nasty about it but in fact nearly everyone I saw was really lovely.

I intended to be very careful about not putting on too much weight in pregnancy and to do lots of walking etc but in the event I felt pretty ill a lot of the time so did very little exercise, I did manage to keep the weight gain fairly reasonable though.

Good luck, enjoy it as much as you possibly can and be reassured by all the extra care - I'm so glad I was monitored very closely, in the end it made all the difference.

Not been in your position OP but firstly congratulations. You have every right to be pregnant and thrilled.

Secondly, only this evening my best friend, who is a midwife, was telling me about a trouble free, gas and air delivery she had with a lady who had a BMI of 52! There's every chance you'll be perfectly fine and can still lose weight whilst pregnant.

Good luck!

Thank you Justhayley! i actually started a food diary when I started my 'diet'. I hate calling it a diet. I just started eating healthily and watching how many calories I consumed. I'd lost a stone before I got pregnant and that was with still drinking alcohol! So without alcohol my body should be in better shape. So far I haven't had any weird cravings or anything. I'm eating exactly the same as I used to. Oh except for fruit. I can only seem to eat melon now. Tried a fruit salad last week and everything tasted awful! Very sharp and inedible! So melon it is. Also tried mashed potato last week and that tasted disgusting too! So I'm just gonna stick to my fish, rice and veg as that tastes as nommy as usual. I think I'm finally starting to accept my body though. I mean it's doing an incredible thing at the moment so it can't be that bad!

[tmae] Oh i'm sorry to make you cry!! I hope you're doing ok now!

tmae even. it's too early!

Isabeller I like the sound of being closely monitored. Makes me feel a bit safer honestly. :-)

Thank you dizzy :) Last i checked my BMI was 39.1. So if someone can do it at 52 that's good to hear!

Ha ha! Don't be sorry, it's such a horrible way to feel, and you certainly should just be excited. I let myself worry abut it the whole pregnancy, but I'm typing this while feeding my DS and now wish I had just enjoyed my pregnancy more instead of just worrying!

tmae I'm glad everything turned out for the best. I'm just gonna try and enjoy it like you say rather than worry :-)

Congratulations! :)

My friend had a very similar issue and has 1 daughter with 1 on the way with no trouble! Try not to diet and restrict yourself when pregnant as it can do a lot of harm. Instead, monitor what you eat, get a good balanced diet and perhaps do a bit of light swimming or walking. Perhaps try 'my fitness pal' or a similar app just to monitor what it is you're eating. My friend lost weight in pregnancy by simply changing her lifestyle. It has always been slow weight loss but she keeps it off. She gets her 5 a day, eats balanced home made meals, walks to places she previously drove and still has her treats every so often! Her daughter benefits too as by the time she was on solids her mum was eating a healthy diet so she now has a great diet too!
Remember, you should never be made to feel bad about your body and you are allowed to request a different doctor/midwife/etc if you do not feel happy with them.

Remember to enjoy it too! :)