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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Question for those mums to be with other lo's

13 replies

julezboo · 29/08/2006 13:54

Ok ladies (might turn into a ramble so sorry in advance lol)

I have moved 250 miles from my family! My dad lives 100 miles away! I due to go into hospital in Jan for a section (it is elective so will be scheduled) Ive asked my mum about coming and staying for a few days. But its gonns be possible, she runs her own catering business and would lose £1000 - £2000 for the week!

We cant afford a doula, but we need someone who can drive, whether it be their own car or mine. My sons school is a 15 min drive away. My brother is our only option but he doesnt drive. So we are kinda stuck. I dont want to have to send ds to my mums up north while we go to have the baby because i think he would feel a bit pushed out.So what do we do?

My last thought is a childminder, but would she have him over night if need be? And drive him to school? As a very last option (and i mean very last) we can get mil over from portugal (but shes a witch lol) so we will only do this as a last resort!

Any ideas?

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geordiemacminx · 29/08/2006 13:59

Are there any other parents of kids in your sons class that live nearby? Perhaps they might be willing to share whatever arrangements they have in place with you in return for petrol money or some babysitting? Last resort perhaps a local taxi service? Quite a lot of kids that live outside the bus area get taxis and as long as the school will co-operate i.e make sure he gets into the right car etc I cant see any reason to worry about safety?

Tommy · 29/08/2006 14:04

Presumably if you are having a planned C section your DH will be at home in the evenings etc - not sure why you would need someone to stay with you unless I'm being really dim here......

clairemow · 29/08/2006 14:08

could your brother come and take DS on the bus, or in taxis, or could DS go to and from school with a friend from school? You didn't say whether your dad could come at all - is that possible? How flexible are DH's work? Could he save up as much holiday as possible so that for the first couple of weeks maybe he could be at home?

If it is the only option, then you could make DS's trip up north into a very "special" holiday for him - is he old enough to understand that you'll be needing an operation, so won't be able to come straight home, and have the situation explained, with lots of 'we love you's in there? Along with lots of lovely treats and outings with his grandma? If it's any consolation, when my brother was born, I went to my grandparents' for 2 weeks as my mum was quite ill and in hospital with high bp for the end of pregnancy, I can't remember it at all, and definitely don't hold it against my parents!

Gobbledigook · 29/08/2006 14:10

Can't your dh do all the school runs? Could you call in favours from friends at school - anyone that comes by your house that wouldn't mind helping with pick up and drop off for the first few weeks?

Original poster

julezboo · 29/08/2006 14:10

thanks

His birth was very traumatic because of my blood clotting disorder so section will be planned providing Im still pregnant at 34 weeks, ds came at 31, so Im trying to find solutions in case I have to have an emergency section....

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Original poster

julezboo · 29/08/2006 14:19

We dont know anybody down here except for the people dp works with. They are not very flexible at his work tbh and any time he takes off is unpaid!

Its a good idea about the taxis though I will keep that in mind.

We will probably make friends when he starts his new school next week. Ive just spoken to the headmaster about travel to school once I go in and he said hes sure they will sort something out.

Thanks girls x x x

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 29/08/2006 14:21

Ahhh, he's only just starting school. It's not till January so hopefully you will have got to know some mums that can help out by then. Hope you get something sorted.

fennel · 29/08/2006 14:22

you'll probably find that this will be a great way to meet lots of helpful people very quickly.

we've recently moved 250 miles too, though not pregnant at the time. people often like a bit of a crisis to help with. have any of your new neighbours got children?

or are there any local mumsnetters? I've met some down here who've been very helpful.

shhhh · 29/08/2006 14:47

sounds bizarre but how about him staying with a teacher overnight..??

When I was at school my parents needed someone to look after me & my sis for 2 night. My sis stayed with friends and a teacher who doted on me at school had me for a few days. She had kids of her own so it wasn't awkward etc.

I loved it..! It was like a mini hol..!!!

Tommy · 29/08/2006 16:36

oh right - didn't realise about the having to go in early possibility.
I'm pretty sure, like others have said, that once your DS starts school and the other mums know your situation, there will be loads of offers to help - meeting from school and/or staying over etc.
Where do you live? bet a Mnetter would help out if there's one locally

Original poster

julezboo · 30/08/2006 09:07

Bridgend Tommy junction 36 off the M4 lol... still pondering x x

OP posts:

rubles · 30/08/2006 10:39

julezboo, have you looked at the doula uk website for doulas in your area who are still awaiting registration? They should only charge expenses.

Tommy · 30/08/2006 20:29

bit far from me to be any help - sorry!!

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