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Original poster

Am I harming my unborn baby?

11 replies

lucy108 · 05/05/2014 15:44

Dear mums..

Recently my husband and I have been arguing a lot. I seem to have no patience with him at all and keep losing my temper. Is the baby getting distressed when I scream and shout? Is it damaging? It's really upsetting me that I keep losing my temper as it's not like me. I feel very guilty and ashamed of myself. My husband tells me that I must stay calm no matter what but he really pushes me to the edge. Yesterday we were out in the car and his driving always bothers me but now that im pregnant I expect him to drive carefully but he continues to drive irresponsibly (breaking suddenly, speeding, using his mobile phone etc) I asked him several times to pull over to use the GPS instead of trying to type in locations while driving fast but he just ignores me. We were close to an accident several times. I got so upset about that I took the gps and threw on the floor while shouting like a crazy person. I just wish he would take things seriously. I'm not going in the car again with him but dont know how to stay calm in such situations anymore. I dont want my baby to hear me screaming and being upset :(

OP posts:
EllaBella220 · 05/05/2014 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

captainproton · 05/05/2014 16:29

Pregnant or not if my DH ever drove like that and behave as you say I would never get in a car with him again. And I would never let him drive our children anywhere. I would lose all respect for him.

I actually think people who use phones while driving are twats. Sorry, but what if he were to crash and kill you and his child, and maybe even someone else. Is he happy to have that on his conscience.

He has to grow up and you are just acting with instinct to protect your baby.

Don't let him convince you otherwise!

Pigginnora · 05/05/2014 16:33

Your dh driving is a separate issue....

I had a horrendous temper in my last pregnancy. Dd is 12 weeks now & the calmest dc of them all!

QueenOfThorns · 05/05/2014 16:39

I was so ragey during pregnancy that DH made me angry just by breathing too loudly. It doesn't seem to have done DD any harm, she's a happy little thing so far!

squizita · 05/05/2014 17:14

Pregnancy anger is actually a "thing" and part of pregnancy!

Your DH's driving on the other hand, bang out of order and could hurt you, baby, him ... Or someone else's partner or child. :(

ithoughtofitfirst · 05/05/2014 18:25

Knowing that there are people like him on the road makes me want to avoid driving my family anywhere.

I would never set foot in a car with him again Angry

Just to reassure you I was depressed, anxious, panicky, angry and hormonal during my first pregnancy and my son is super chilled out and confident so try not to worry hun xx

Darksideofthemoon88 · 05/05/2014 20:01

Your DP should not be driving like that; it's extremely dangerous and he could kill someone. Frankly, I hope he gets pulled over and given a stern warning at least - perhaps then he'll realise how stupid and irresponsible he's being.

That's kind of a separate issue to your anger though - but you are very much justified in being angry with him. Can you sit him down and talk things through calmly?

You're bound to be hormonal, tired, not feeling your best, and, at times, angry. That's not your fault. I very much doubt you're harming your baby by being angry - but I'm sure it's best for both of you if you are calm and happy.

Original poster
lucy108 · 05/05/2014 20:12

Thank you all for your responses. The driving thing is such a serious issue for me and I certainly wont accept it for him to take children in the car - if he thinks I'm joking then he's in for a big shock. Hopefully he will learn soon. It's so frustrating when he doesnt listen - that's when I get upset. Ive noticed myself getting easily frustrated also with other people which is not like me at all. I wanted to kill the woman in mothercare today who messed up my order which ive been waiting on for 3 weeks. Now im laughing about it but earlier it seemed like the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. Hope I can chill out soon.
Thanks again everyone.
Lucy
X

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/05/2014 21:54

It's all well and good not driving with your child in the car, but what about everyone else's children in other cars? He sounds like a knob. Not sure why you couldn't have programmed the GPS if he was driving.

A considerate partner would understand that your hormones are making you irrational and would be extra careful not to piss you off. He could tone down the knobbery to help you stay calm.

MrsAtticus · 05/05/2014 21:59

you sound just like me in my first pregnancy. I was worried the baby would come out as stressed as me but he came out chilled as anything! I did go into labour early though, and suspect that might have been due to stress but that's just my theory.

Barbsta · 05/05/2014 23:41

I lost it twice both in first trimester even smashing up a ps3 control at one point :s I worry it will effect my baby too. If it was easy for is to control though we would so I try now to feel too bad but also try take myself out of situations that get me angry

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