On the subject of vaginal examinations..

[ohthegoats]

.. what do they do that might make them more painful than contractions? Why (apart from previous issues related to them), might they be so awful?

Signed,
Naïve.

I agree with what has been said here. I felt badly betrayed in my first labour that, although I was admitted, I was treated as vaguely hysterical for presenting in a lot of pain during the latent phase.

It was a big driver for me in planning a homebirth second time. I felt that, if the medical professionals weren't going to help me, I'd have to do it alone. Well, with a doula. I did 10 hours of incredibly painful 'latent' stage (based on contraction pattern and intact waters, obviously had no internals). I had a 30 minute 'active' labour and the MWs didn't reach me in time.

The dilation rule on the pool was another big factor in home birth for me. My pool, my rules.

I think that, regardless of the very overstretched NHS, there is a lot of education to be done amongst pregnant women and even HCPs about how bad the latent stage can be (the rest of my second labour was a walk in the park. Active labour was almost painless by comparison).

The gas and air rule is awful Viva. I was (eventually) given gas and air after ARM. Never twigged that I hadn't qualified before that. If a woman is in a room with the facility, what is the purpose of denying it? What's the reasoning for that rule?

I wouldn't deny it to someone who was staying on labour ward (ie someone who was being induced) just because she wasn't yet 4cm.

The midwives brought 7 cans of gas and air to my homebirth. 7 CANS.

and no valve........

LOL.

Actually it wouldn't have been funny if I had needed it. I didn't.

Perhaps they brought it for themselves after having heard about me.

I was more terrified going into labour for my 2nd birth than I ever was with my first.

It all melted away when I arrived in labour and was shown immediately to the pool with a short request for a feel or my tummy, temperature and blood pressure.

None of any of that with homebirth. Midwives in the drive arguing over missing value and parking during shift change over when the head came out.

God, I love gas and air. Tis the stuff of the gods for me. I've already told my MW she better not forget the mouthpiece!

Not entirely on topic I know (so apologies OP ) but I have to agree with a lot of what has been said about a difficult latent stage and being denied access to pain relief or even just medical support. Though I do fully appreciate that a woman who is genuinely about to give birth within the hour needs a room more than a woman who is only 2cm dilated and probably has a long time to go - it must be so hard for midwives to manage this, they have my sympathy.

However as other posters have pointed out, a very long latent phase could possibly be an indicator that something is actually wrong - in my case yes, my baby was ill, ill enough to need NICU after an emcs, but because I wasn't in active labour I wasn't allowed any pain relief or even any monitoring. I only wangled a bed on a pre-natal ward (where I was roundly ignored) because there was one free, we didn't drive, and it was our third trip to hospital, only to find out after 24 hours of nearly 2 minute contractions every 4-5 minutes apart, I was still not even 2cm dilated.

But partly yes, a long latent phase could indicate that the baby is poorly position or something else is wrong. But also realistically, if you have a very long or very painful latent phase, you've used up all your reserve by the time you're anywhere near active labour and that doesn't bode well for pushing, when maybe being able to get a few hours sleep on pethidine even at 2-3cm dilated might have made a big difference.

I know my experience won't be the same as everyone's, but by the fourth time I had called the maternity unit in 24 hours telling them I was in pain, being sick, couldn't even sit down, because my contractions weren't quick enough for them they kept fobbing me off, and I was royally fucked off. If a woman keeps calling and keeps calling then either her latent phase really is too painful, or something is going wrong or, you know what, she's just panicking, and none of that is going to help her in the long term.

So I do appreciate they can't just magic up beds and rooms in the current set up, but sometimes more sympathy wouldn't go amiss...

As far as I'm aware the speculum was used to open my cervix so that they could get a blood sample from dd's head. Her heartbeat kept dropping and they kept changing their minds about an EMCS so wanted to check her blood's saturation levels and I wasn't dilated enough to allow them adequate access.

I've never known a speculum be used to open a cervix not even at the hundred of FBS (fetal blood sampling) proceedures I've seen. It can be a very uncomfortable even painful time as its a fairly big speculum.

see this is the thing...when else in life do you have something poking around at your cervix, so add to that the pain and fear of labour, it's no wonder it's traumatic for some of us!

Nice Conception! Very different procedure though.