33 weeks and planning 2nd PG - advice please

[emzickle]

Hi - I am 33 weeks PG with first baby, partner and I discussing having second child, we both want another, but he would like to wait 5 - 8 years before having another.

this seems like a bloody eternity, especially as 40 weeks to me seems like a life sentance.

MW discussed birth control with DP and I at last antenatal - explained that BF is 98% effective at preventing PG, if done exclusively etc, well... I would rather like to get PG again within 6 months, where as DP wants to wait . What should I do? I don't actively want to reduce my chances of conceieving, I.E. the pill etc, so, can I convince DP that BF is effective birth control, and if I get pregnant any way... it'll be a WHOOPS!!! or is that really wrong of me?

you might think differently when baby's here!

but anyway the pill is also 98% rather than 100% isn't it? so no lying needed. apart from when you start feeding other things that is.

I think you should wait till you've had this baby to see how you feel about having another, frankly.

I also don't think that lying to your partner about BFing is a good idea. (In any case you may find that BFing is not for you, for all sorts of reasons.) Babies are enormously stressful on a relationship. Lobbing in an another not-frightfully-unplanned pregnancy on top, with that that background to it, is like chucking fireworks into a petrol can.

I would wait until the baby is born and see how you both feel then. We are told that it takes a year for our bodies to fully recover from a pregnancy. You won't be doing this version of pregnancy again - next time you will have a little one which makes it a different story!

emzickle I agree totally with MI.

Your life is about to be completely destroyed and re-built in a totally different way. Don't underestimate how much of a change it is going to be.

I would try to focus on your and your partner's mental health - and the best way of keeping your relationship healthy - before you worry about more babies.

Good luck.

Can only reiterate what others have said.See how you feel after the first one ,hon.Its helluva life change!!!

I think there needs to be more of a compromise on both fronts here - he wants to wait a very long term - you on the other hand want to have a second very quickly. There is room to maneouvere there on both parts. You so do need to wait and see how you feel once you have your first. It sounds patronising but very true.

Message withdrawn

And I should add

Please don't worry if you haven't HAD SEX within six months

That, too, is totally, totally normal

thank you every one for your sane advice - I sort of needed that bit of a sound board as it were...

HappyMumof2 - no need to be so completely harsh. hell...