Early pregnancy emotions

[porsmork]

Hi everyone, this is my first post!

I'm 8 weeks pg tomorrow, first baby, I'm 29. I'd like to chat with you all about your first feelings on finding out you're pregnant, or how those a little further down the line are feeling?

I'm delighted, in theory, but in practice, these are my predominant feelings:

1. Fear. Am I imagining all this? Am I ready for a child, toddler, shock, horror, TEENAGER? Am I ready to be exhausted and stuck in parenting routine for years?
2. Restless. What about all the things I should have done with my life? Gone backpacking, learned to sail/play an instrument, written a best selling novel?? I've never had a bucket list but now I feel I should have had one and done everything on it.
3. Low. Where's the happy, milky, sweet smelling earth mother? Why hasn't she turned up? Instead I feel sour, sore, cynical and scared!

Anyone else feeling the same? Any advice on how to break through the pessimism? Or are you feeling totally different? What's been your experience so far?

Xx

Hi porsmork Sounds totally normal to me... you are growing a new person and your whole world will change but right now it's early and a bit amorphous. I have one 9 mo DS and it took a while to get preggers. I remember feeling like I should have felt more maternal than I did at that stage. From my experience, nothing anyone says can really prepare you anyway. You don't really know how it's all going to be until you go through it. So, 1) yes, totally. 2) I don't think I had this but you can still do stuff. You will probably just hit pause for a year or two whilst you find your feet with your new child and 3) this will come.

For what it's worth, it gets better as the bump grows (wait until it starts to wriggle!) and then you get a baby. It's difficult and emotional and endlessly tiring (at first.. all that gets better) but it is truly wonderful and lovely and the early fog will pass really quickly. In the meantime, treat yourself - movies, nice food, sleep... whatever you enjoy doing for you.

I've been through all these emotions! 31 and currently 10+5, and waiting for my scan. A friend had a baby a few months ago, and she's a screamer, which I think has been pretty tough - that's scaring me a bit. At the moment it all seems a bit unreal - but I think seeing the baby at the scan will help (hopefully!) The wait until the scan is the worst bit.

Yep! All sounds normal, especially feeling low. I cries pretty much every day through my first trimester, through a combination of hormones and nausea that left me house bound for about three months. I was soooo pissed off by the women who went on about how much they loved being pregnant and how amazing they felt - made me feel worse and incompetent.

Yep, sounds very familiar.

I think it's partly all the rational stuff you're worrying about (both being terrified of having a baby at the same time as being terrified of losing the baby). All swirled up with crazy hormones (I just didn't feel like myself a lot of the time).

First trimester was pretty yuck - by second tri I'd started to get my head round the idea of being pregnant/having a baby, plus feeling a lot less strange and hormonal.

Still not quite got into that zen earth mother thing though!

In my experience its probably better that you feel pretty realistic now.

I was nothing but excited and happy to be pregnant last time and had, quite frankly, the fucking biggest shock of my life in the early newborn stage. Kind of like 'oh good god what have I done?'. Followed by the worst depression.

After about 6 weeks having a baby is the. Best. Thing. In. The. World and just keeps getting better. They fill your heart with pure joy when they smile or giggle and theyre so squishy and cuddly.

You'll be fine!! You sound prepared!

Thanks guys, it's very nice to be conversing about these things. Right now, we haven't told anyone, not parents, not work, friends etc, and so it's great to share and have some support that everything is normal. At the moment so many things are buzzing round my head! Been off work for the past couple of days as well due to morning sickness, so probably going a little stir crazy with no one to talk to.

Hopefully will start coming to terms with everything once other people know...

xx

You'll be fine hun, once you've had the scan you won't think about anything else but how excited you are. This is coming from a pnd survivor ... being a mum is FAB. Take each day as it comes... write down the thoughts to get them out of your head and then write down the things you think you will enjoy about having a child. Seeing the balance of thoughts will help you come to terms with it I reckon Xx

Sounds very familiar to me. I'm 32 and have had a fab 10 years with my husband adventuring and trying to get to the point when I feel ready for this, but when the pink line appeared I still just felt terrified. I'm now 23 weeks and the bump is wriggling right now, which is amazing, but still when I think "that's a baby, doing that", I panic a bit : ) I'm hoping when he comes the love will wash (some) of the fear away!

once you've had the scan you won't think about anything else but how excited you are.

I hate this focus on the word 'excited'. "Are you excited?" is all I'm ever asked. If I was asked to list every emotion I'd felt during pregnancy so far, I'd be well onto my second page of A4 before the word 'excited' came up.

Some people do seem to go through pregnancy in a fizz of constant excitement, but I'm not that person. mssleepyhead sounds more like me!

Yeah plateofcrumbs that's exactly what I meant.

Was that a sarcastic comment ithoughtofitfirst?

I think I'm just allergic to the word 'excited' and in particular the idea that scans are a source of excitement. I know they are for some people but mine have been mostly a source of a lot of worry.

That's totally understandable plateofcrumbs Xx

Thanks - so far all working out OK but once you've had a scare it knocks your confidence a bit.

Exactly the same!! Do you have a supportive partner. I just remind myself than when baby is older eg 6-7+ I can have some independence back. Only planning one!

Hi, I understand how you feel, everything just changes after becoming pregnant with your first from the minute you take that pregnancy test, I was 21 when I had my son, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and worth giving up all those things for.

I'm 24 on Monday and pregnant with our 2nd baby due in October.

Wait till you see baby on the scan and the little heart beat its amazing, congratulations :)