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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

what are you going to do differently with baby no.2?

21 replies

mamapants · 30/04/2014 07:10

I keep getting told that 2nd babies are easier because you learn from the mistakes you made with first and do things differently.
I can't really think of anything I'd do differently. DS isn't a great sleeper and I'm told I'll be stricter with no.2 but I really don't think I'll do anything differently with sleep.
Will probably be less stressed about weaning onto solids as DS took a long time to take to food but is fine now. I was worried about what would happen when I went to work but of course when I wasn't there to offer an alternative he did eat!
Any thing you've learnt or would do differently?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Busymumto3dc · 30/04/2014 07:12

My second baby was not easier. Even though I was more experienced he was hard work. He cried a lot! For no reason. He was just a screamer!
I don't feel I made "mistakes" with dc1 or 2, but when dc3 came along I felt it important to really enjoy her being a baby baby. I felt my elder two grew up too fast.

Original poster

mamapants · 30/04/2014 07:16

That's true busymum I look at ds who is now 21months and wonder when he got so big and grown up.

OP posts:

ZingWatermelon · 30/04/2014 07:33

umm, not true.

you will be more relaxed and confident but that has nothing to do with child's personality and character.

most 2nd children I know are bloody stubborn and really hard work - that includes my sister, BIL2 and our DS2.

but that's fine. you'll love them anyway!

Seeline · 30/04/2014 08:11

I think you do things differently because the child is different. I don't think I particularly changed my parenting style for DC2 ( apart from not stressing quite so much over how many wet nappies there'd been, how much sleep/milk etc she'd had). She was just very different from DS. Slept differently, fed differently, behaved differently. You react differently. Enjoy

RoseberryTopping · 30/04/2014 08:14

I won't take half as many photos for a start!

I won't be as strict in a routine with this one either. DS was a Gina Ford baby, and while I will still have a loose routine I won't be as stressed out about sticking to every minute of it.

I'm going to breastfeed for longer with this baby as well. I let family members put me off last time, this time I couldn't care less what they think.

RoseberryTopping · 30/04/2014 08:15

Oh god don't say that Zing! I was hoping this baby would be a lot calmer than DS. He's like owning a little pet tornado!

Original poster

mamapants · 30/04/2014 08:15

Oh dear DS is the most stubborn child I've ever come across- and its not just me who says that! If no. 2 is more so I'm in trouble!

OP posts:

Seeline · 30/04/2014 08:17

Roseberry - DD was a lot calmer than DS, but at least 3 times as stubborn. An interesting mix

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 30/04/2014 08:19

I probably wont write down the times and bottle sizes of every feed on a grid. Coloured in.

I will still want to swaddle, use a routine from the start, not co-sleep, however DD took to these.....am fingers crossed that dc2 will too.

Passthecake30 · 30/04/2014 08:19

I remember not buying a ton of "stuff" for no 2...hand me downs and cheapies are fine...with no 1 I got to know what purchases are really necessary and didn't have the urge to splurge as much

Greenstone · 30/04/2014 08:25

I don't really know! Mostly because I can't figure out if dd was an easy, normal or difficult baby compared to others. She didn't sleep through until 13 months - is that normal, late, or good going? She was miserable and cranky until 6/7.months and then became lovely and easy and a good eater, and even though she woke at night for feeds she slept well around the feeds. So in my head I've resigned myself to doing whatever works for the first year. Might buy a rocking chair this time so I don't do my back in though!

happypotamus · 30/04/2014 08:58

I'm not sure I will do anything different. I would like to be more patient, but am not sure how I will achieve that. I will have to have more of a routine and not let my second baby nap on me until it's nearly 9 months old, because I will have to do things with DD and will have to work out how to get them both up and ready for school runs when DC2 is under a year old.
DH keeps saying the second baby will be much easier because we know what to do with a baby now and how to look after them. I pointed out that DC2 might not be the same as DD and the same solutions might not work the second time around. He also thinks that establishing breastfeeding was a major problem last time and that will be fine now as I know how to do it, but the baby won't know how and I don't know if I remember how to get it established even though I went on to feed DD for over 2yrs.

ikeaismylocal · 30/04/2014 09:01

I will probably give dc2 the occasional bottle rather than obsessing about exclusive breastfeeding. Ds1 was a really easy baby, he slept all the time and hardly ever cried, he was good with solids and early with all his milestones, I anticipate dc2 will be more challenging as surely you can't be that lucky twice.

blueshoes · 30/04/2014 09:08

Ignored whatever the health visitor, MIL and others said
Just breastfed and stopped stressing about getting ds onto the bottle for night feeds or in readiness for nursery
Not that bothered about ds crying
Not bothered about ds co-sleeping and feeding himself to sleep
Not bothered about getting ds to potty train as early as possible
Could not be arsed to puree foods that much for weaning
Cut short my maternity leave and when back to work earlier because ds seemed ready for nursery

Ds was even more stubborn and even poorer sleeper that dd, who was a shocker by most standards. But ds did not have health problems and was a robust little fella.

blueshoes · 30/04/2014 09:10

Also decided I did not like P+T groups and baby massage and all that jazz and just did my own thing.

FoodieMum3 · 30/04/2014 09:40

Baby no.3 here and this time I plan on:

Not buying unnecessary baby items. Causes clutter and are hardly used. Will keep clothes to a minimum also.

Being stricter about visitors, especially in the hospital and ensuring that my 2 dd's are my first visitors. I still have visions of dd at my bed last time, so utterly lost and confused because when she'd arrived there was already my mum, aunt and several inlaws

Accepting offers of help instead of trying to be super mum. (With toddler)

Will bf for much longer, fingers crossed.

Get out and walk, every single day.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy it, because I'm pretty sure it will be our last new born and they just grow up too quickly.

ZingWatermelon · 30/04/2014 09:47

oh sorry Roseberry

I meant to say 2nd children are little angels, easy as pie and you'll not even notice they are there!

better?

anyway, I'm expecting #7 in July and can't wait. so clearly even DS2's "angelic" behaviour didn't effect me that badly to stop after him!

tealover1985 · 30/04/2014 10:06

If we have another i will definitely be stricter about visitors in the first couple of weeks. I know everybody is dying to see the baby but it was exhausting having so many people in the house.

Booboostoo · 30/04/2014 11:01

I'm not planning on doing much different but I think the crucial thing is that babies are different from each other and to an extent dictate what you do. I am really hoping I have a good sleeper this time round!

The only thing I am not doing is buying loads of cots, baskets, etc. as DD co-slept and I am planning on doing the same with the second one.

weebairn · 30/04/2014 13:20

I'm not planning on doing too much differently as generally we were really happy with DD when she was little. On the gentle advice of experienced friends, we never bothered with trying to settle baby in a cot or putting pressure on myself for her to follow a routine, just did co-sleeping right from day one… she just wanted to be held in the early days/weeks and we just did that, and enjoyed the cuddles without constantly trying to put her down. She learned to sleep well by herself easily in her own time and I never had to go through all that "what am I doing wrong" agony
She has also been a really bad sleeper at times so I have no idea whether no2 will be much better or much worse!

I don't think I'll express this time round, unless necessary-
I had a child free wedding at 5 months which wasn't much fun and I spent weeks dutifully expressing for it, and she refused all of it. Also people told me how lovely it would be to express and get some time off, but it wasn't really. Expressing was a massive pain in the arse and my boobs were just sore when I went off by myself anyway.I'd much rather just feed. I will probably have a really difficult time of feeding this time round though!!

I'm going to try and work later (I was a bit anxious about working late into pregnancy last time) even though the job is tough and tiring. And maybe go back earlier. But that's just a financial thing. Early mat leave and the whole year off was lovely.

I will try and hide clocks in labour cause I got very hung up on how long it was taking last time, felt like everything was wrong as it was taking "too long" (actually had a really straightforward labour in the end)

I will try and enjoy the newborn stage a bit more if possible through the hormones and sleep deprivation cause it did go so quickly. And take more photos of baby with just a nappy on, I have hundreds of pics of DD as a tiny baby but she's completely wrapped up in blankets or very oversized sleep suits in them all!

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 30/04/2014 13:25

I wouldn't keep my baby up in the afternoon so he would sleep all night because that is idiotic.

I would be a lot more strict and realise that establishing a routine probably does mean a bit of crying when they're young but good sleep is a lot more likely when you follow a strict routine. I expected DS to just do what the books said and didn't really realise that it takes a couple of weeks fighting to establish a routine.

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