Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Midwife problems

23 replies

Kaybee7777 · 25/08/2006 14:29

Can anyone advise me what to do if I find my midwife completely useless?????
I am almost 28 weeks pregnant, and really have had nothing but trouble from her since the booking visit.
She has no idea who I am.
She always has her phone off - with no explanation if she's gone on holiday or something. I end up leaving messages all the time that never get returned, or get returned a week later.
I feel like I can't speak to her about my concerns and things when I see her as she's in a hurry, her mobile is ringing etc. She just always seems to have her mind somewhere else.
Is it possible to change to the midwives at my hospital? How do I do it? I got this one as she is connected to the doctors surgery, but really feel like I am not getting any benefit out of seeing her at all.
Sorry about the rant but it really is so frustrating as this is my first baby, and I have lots of questions and concerns and no family of my own in this country, and no close friends with children.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twiglett · 25/08/2006 14:30

yes .. just call the hospital midwives, explain and book an appointment

I'd also mention to the doctor that you're changing and exactly why .. they need to know they are not providing the right service ...

LeBe · 25/08/2006 14:39

Hi Kaybee

I had a similar problem, my midwife was lovely but i couldnt understand her! I felt awful because obviously this is not her fault but it is not much help when you are ringing for advice or to book an appointment etc. and you cant understand anything. I asked about changing and apparently you can go to another doctors just while you are pg and see the midwife there, but any other problems not pregnncy related you go to your normal surgery. Luckily i didnt have to do this because we moved house and i had to change anyway, but i hope this helps x

Loulou000 · 25/08/2006 14:47

Poor you Kaybee. I don't have any useful advice really, but just my commiserations. I haven't seen my midwife since booking in and am 22 weeks now. She never returns calls or emails, and I have given up on getting any help until I actually turn up in labour. Good luck with changing.

SydSnow · 25/08/2006 15:01

I really can't believe how bad the system is in England - it's third world!!

LeBe · 25/08/2006 15:03

Loulou - I cant believe that! I saw my midwife at 12 weeks and then once a month afterwards until 24 weeks and now i go once a fortnight. Is this your first baby? i think i would be worried if i hadnt seen anyone yet. Hopefully you get your situation sorted too.

sarahsbump · 25/08/2006 15:05

Hi Kaybee
No advice but I know how you feel fortunatly I was lucky enough to move area when pregnant and get a new midwife who was lovely.
I would definatly change though because first time pregnancy is worrying enough without having a midwife who isnt helping you-plus you need good support when the baby is born and it will be the same midwife that visits you.
Hope you get it sorted x

compo · 25/08/2006 15:05

loulou too. Have you been seeing your doctor to check urine, BP etc?

mumfor1standfinaltime · 25/08/2006 15:06

Sorry to hear your story kaybee. I also had a useless midwife who always seemed to be unavailable or on holiday, infact I saw a different midwife at each appointment!
I wasn't aware you could change midwives, I would make an appointment with my doctor and explain how you feel or phone the hospital and explain, whichever you feel suits you best. You need to feel comfortable and happy with what is going on!
Hope things improve soon

DebbsyandBibby · 25/08/2006 16:01

commiserations kaybee i know just how you feel

1Baby1Bump · 25/08/2006 16:05

you must be able to see another one? there are 3 linked to my surgery.
mine is a bit useless. i get on really well with her and as a result she thinks she can call on the morning shes due and try to cancel or turn up 3 hours later.
last week she was due at 10 and rang at 9.45 to ask if she could come at one. i said no, i need to go out. she was riginally due on the money and had already changed it to friday so i put my foot down!!
dont accept it dammit!!

Morningnewspaper · 26/08/2006 17:10

Mine is also crap - I saw her for the one and only time at my booking appointment too (same hospital as LouLou) and she didn't give me any eye contact the whole way through and just talked AT me - going through her usual speal (?sp) I suspect. Since then, I have had BP etc checked at the GP - who is also useless and asks why I'm there..... I am now 25 weeks

gladbag · 26/08/2006 17:18

A friend of mine didn't get on with her midwife - nothing drastic, just that the MW made her feel uncomfortable, seemed to lack knowledge when asked questions, or laughed at her worries etc etc. She phoned the head of the midwifery services in her area, and just asked if she could be assigned another one. And she was. She didn't make a formal complaint or anything, just said she thought it was a clash of personalities and could she have someone else. I'm not sure if it works like that everywhere, and you do have to have the balls to actually do it, but it would be worth it IMO. Hope you get it sorted.

donna3 · 26/08/2006 18:34

If you're not happy I'd definitely try to switch. As other people have said you should be able to do this by phoning the community midwife office (number should be in your antenatal notes) or phone the antenatal ward and ask them.
I really wish I'd switched midwives - mine was perfectly competent but we had a personality clash. Got really bad when I went overdue - ended up having induction booked at 41 week appt with no discussion or real explaination / emotional support and spent most of the next week leading up to it dreading it and in tears, so was exhausted by the time I finally was induced. I also got told I could only contact her 9-4 Mon, Tues, Wed, so had no one to contact when things got really stressful and wanted to talk about being induced ealier. Subsequently found out should have had a 24/7 phone number given to me!
The moral of this story is don't worry about making a fuss just ask to switch. I wish I had, especially as my son was 9lb 6oz when he finally was born and got stuck, so ended up with forceps, episiotomy and a big tear...
A supportive midwife makes a huge difference, so its well worth the hassle of changing.

Toady · 26/08/2006 19:08

Ring up the Head of Midwifery and tell her, she will sort it out for you. Dont ask, tell.

Original poster

Kaybee7777 · 29/08/2006 14:06

thanks everyone
Sounds like it's a faily common problem to have a useless midwife
Loulou - that's terrible that you haven't seen your midwife again, I can't believe how they just leave people in the dark about what is supposed to be happening. I hope you can get things sorted out too.
Think I will contact the hospital where I am having baby and see what can be done, why should we have to put up with terrible customer service from midwives!

OP posts:

sarahlou123 · 01/09/2006 14:32

hi
my midwife is lovely but my sister is expecting her 3rd baby but has mental health problems. she had her booking in app. at her local surgery (different one to her previous pg's) & the midwife had a go at her for getting pregnant!! she didnt check her urine, weight height or even her blood pressure!!! my sis had pre-e in her first pg & gets high blood pressure during pg. i'm trying to find out how she can change midwife's because this midwife's behaviour is totally unacceptable. no matter how she feels about my sister's situation she surely shouldn't pass judgement should she?? i think i will tell my sis to ring the antenatal ward & ask them about changing.
thanks sarahlou
15+ pg with #2

hana · 01/09/2006 14:35

my goodness - I NEVER see the same midwife twice! am 34 wks with my third baby and I don' t think I've ever seen the same one again!

Sarah34 · 07/09/2006 19:36

Im 25 weeks just gone and i think going to my midwife is a waste of time. She just trys and get rid of you as fast as she can. If you got any problems she'll say "go see a doctor". She never seems interested in anything i say to her. Was thinking of stopping seeing her or changing midwifes.

mazzystar · 07/09/2006 19:47

It is worth trying to change, if you can. My midwife is part of a community team, she is particularly good but they are all fantastically good at their jobs. It made all the difference to my last pg and postpartum care.

mazzystar · 07/09/2006 19:49

Although, Kaybee I think your expectations might be a bit high...if she doesn't answer your call she could well be delivering someone else's baby.......

Original poster

Kaybee7777 · 08/09/2006 14:17

Yes but surely she shouldn't wait a week to ring back! I don't have a problem with leaving a message, I do have a problem when it takes a full 7 days to get any kind of response.....

OP posts:

Sandcastles · 08/09/2006 14:21

sounds like one of my midwives, (changed area) although she never had the phone ringing she always kept her bag over her shoulder & got caught up on door handles. Then I missed an appointment as I was in hospital having just had dd early (pre-eclampsia) she rang a friend (emerg number) and when friend told her she meerl said "oh, ok" never heard from her again!

mazzystar · 08/09/2006 15:09

it depends what you are ringing about but i honestly wouldn't expect a community midwife to be at the end of the phone for me unless i was about to have a home delivery and she was on duty. if its an emergency i'd go to the hospital or the doctors. if it wasn't, i'd wait till i had an appointment, or make one especially.

that said, your midwife doesn't sound as though she is otherwise doing a particularly good job, and that you need someone with a different attitude. a good friend of mine has ended up changing doctors surgeries for precisely this reason (she wasn't enamoured with her GP either, to be fair).....

Flip