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Original poster

DH away for 2 weeks when I'll be 36 wks

14 replies

CoolCat2014 · 27/04/2014 20:20

Just wanted to get some advice, my DH will be away for work for two weeks when I'm 35/36 weeks - it's my first pregnancy, currently 22 weeks and not finding it as easy as I hoped! Had bad flares up of asthma, and earlier on had issues with low blood pressure & fainting hrs made my MW tell me not to shower unless someone else is in the house with me.

Just wondering if I should try to get someone to stay with me? My parents live 4 hours away, but are planning to go away at the same time to an event. DH family are local, but have small kids of their own, and a lot of my friends will be going away to the same event!

Any advice or suggestions would be great!

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bonzo77 · 27/04/2014 20:29

How long would it take for him to get home? Will he be easy to get hold of? How close are you to your in laws? How long will your parents be unavailable for? Do you or DH mind him missing the birth? Would you be happy to hire a doula / have another person on standby for you?

IdaClair · 27/04/2014 20:36

What problems are you anticipating?

It is a few months away yet, how soon does he need to commit?

Personally I would have no issue, especially for work, and especially with first baby so no other dc to look after - I do suffer from seizures so understand risks of fainting etc, but again it is months away.

Tbh it might be quite nice not to have to talk to anyone and just be able to come straight in from work and go to bed at that point, I always found the last weeks of work made me antisocial!

StrawberryMojito · 27/04/2014 20:43

What is the event? Is there any way of reducing the length of the trip? What are both of your feelings on it?

You will most probably be fine physically but that is not quite the point if you are unhappy.

Original poster
CoolCat2014 · 27/04/2014 21:22

The event he runs a large section of, it's an annual thing that is a large part of his job, so he had to go & I'm fine with that - we were aware when TTC and avoided that month & one immediately before, and thought we'd missed the month that we are now due! He has to go! I could go with him if I wanted, but it would be a lot if standing around pretty bored!

He will be away for 12 days, and it's a 4 hour drive away in good traffic. PIL live 30 mins away so they are nearby, just don't know how they'd cope. SIL is in the same town, and I'd be happy to have her as emergency birth partner if she would be happy to do it.. She has small kids, but seeing as we are talking an unlikely scenario here I'm sure she'd be happy. DH would be devastated if he missed birth, but we can't not have him do his job!

My biggest fears are asthma attack, fainting, or something daft like getting stuck in the bath to be honest!

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Original poster
CoolCat2014 · 27/04/2014 21:23

Oh and my parents will be away for 7 days

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MoominAndMiniMoom · 27/04/2014 21:25

I'd be careful - my pregnancy had issues but nothing that made it look like baby would need to arrive early, I was booked for induction on my due date. OH was supposed to be going back to his parents house to dog and rare bird-of-prey sit (don't ask Hmm ) the weekend when I would be 37 weeks, because his family were going on holiday and there was no-one else they could ask to do it, so there didn't even seem to be a backup plan for just in case.

I stood my ground, told him I wasn't happy about him being two hours away for a weekend, leaving me alone with no family about, when I was 37 weeks pregnant. He relented, told his family to sort it out.

His parents had to cut their holiday short to visit us and the baby, who'd been born the night before after I was induced at 37 weeks Grin. Just because something is unlikely to happen at 36/37 weeks, doesn't mean it definitely won't! Grin

Original poster
CoolCat2014 · 27/04/2014 22:11

Moomin - that's exactly what I'm aware of! He's working on a strategy for if he has to leave work event suddenly, had someone watching him last year, so if it comes to early delivery he will be 4 hours away. Not ideal, but it's just not something he can get out of! Maybe I need to beg my mum to come and stay, or I go stay with her( then I'd be 2 hours away from where he is!) but don't know if I can convince my mum to change her plans :/

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nc060 · 28/04/2014 12:53

Im a first time mum to be, so bear with me here - in the grand scheme of labours anything less than 4 hours for a first baby is pretty rare and therefore he has time to get home to you(probably before you even have to go to the hospital) and have a back-up plan of SIL should it all happen very quickly. If it was just a holiday with his mates(my DH goes away to watch Scotland a lot) I would put my foot down, but I would probably be happy if he was only 4 hours away and it was as important as it seems to be. That's just me though. It's a very personal decision. x

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 28/04/2014 12:58

That takes him awfully close to your due date. If you and baby are generally healthy, then you probably won't need him at home, but babies are unpredictable and could come naturally at any time from 4-5 weeks before your due date. Will he be able to get home within a few hours if he needs to?

IdaClair · 29/04/2014 13:15

My DP was 30 minutes away when I went into labour with first dc. Got hold of him after 45 minutes of trying and he drove home at high speed.

He did make it before the baby, just.

Just saying you don't have to be 4 hours away - you can just have popped out to pick something up from a friends house - babies come when they come.

RoseberryTopping · 29/04/2014 16:03

I'm in kind of the same boat, DP will be working 4 hours away for 6 weeks but he will be back each weekend, it takes us right up to me being 39 weeks with dc2 though.
I'm a bit nervous but it's just one of those things that you have to put up with. Make a list of people you could realistically call if anything were to happen and make them aware they're on your list. Most will people are happy to help so don't be afraid in asking!

The chances are you will be overdue with your first one and labour probably won't be quick (sorry) so if you do feel contractions starting be sure to let him know as soon as possible. He also needs to make sure he has his phone on him at all times and is checking it regularly for missed calls.

I'm looking for the positives in it, a big one being that I get the bed to myself and can have as many pillows surrounding me as I like Grin

Original poster
CoolCat2014 · 29/04/2014 19:27

Roseberry - nice to know it's not just me then!

Deff trying to thing if the plus sides - big bed to myself... I'll still miss him though!

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SweepTheHalls · 29/04/2014 19:28

36 weeks was my cut off for being away, at that point, whilst babies do come that early, it is very unlikely.

Elastigrrrl · 29/04/2014 20:24

Hey Coolcat. I'm in a similar situation at 35 weeks right now with DH gone for a week. Firstly high five for being supportive of your DH and taking one for the team. As others have wisely said, the likelihood is low of labour starting this early, but at the same time it can be a bit tough being on your own at this stage in pregnancy. I speak from the experience of feeling largely OK for the first 34 weeks, and now starting to struggle. (But yes the bed space is awesome).

Rosenberry has the right idea; it is important your DH is in regular contact and if possible I would say best to get him to commit to always being contactable if need be. The other thing I've done that's helped is lined up people to be around during this time, but I do wish I'd had them coming around to my place instead of going out as I have, as it's been a bit exhausting.

Good luck!

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