Boyfriend wants me to get an abortion

[sophiexo]

Last weekend I found out I am pregnant (about 5 weeks I think)
I'm only 21 and haven't got the best wages in the world so not exactly financially stable. I'm in a long distance relationship (not majorly far) and my boyfriend is persistent about me having a termination but in my heart I don't want to get rid of it.

I just don't know what to do :\

cuppateaandabiscuit

So sorry to hear the pain that you went through back then. That's what I'm afraid of - not being able to live with the guilt and regret.

I'm quite prepares for the relationship to crash and burn either way because neither of us agree on what we want unfortunately. I know the guilt will ruin us on its own.

Such a joy to hear that you're happily married with children, I've heard so many stories of people that have had abortions and then not been able to have children when they wish to.

Thankyou for your advice x

Don't base any decision on the notion that he might come round to the idea. Tbh, even if he does, he's letting you down right now and this doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship with him.

Sophie - there are quite a few women on MN who have had terminations and felt nothing but relief (and I'm sure sadness at the need to have it done, but not guilt or regret). I think it's important not to keep the baby just because you are scared you might not cope with the guilt and regret - not everyone feels that.

I can't help you with any personal stories as I am fortunate that it's not a decision I have ever (yet anyway) had to make, all I know is that you have to make this decision based on your feelings, you can't count on him being there for you either way, no matter what he is saying right now - so assume that either decision would see you splitting up and either being on your own - single and childfree or single with a baby. Don't let him or his feelings enter into your decision - you really, really cannot base this decision on anything other than your feelings & your ability to cope with either the termination or bringing the child up on your own (with help from f&f of couse).

yes, do what's right for you. It sounds actually like you know what is right for you, but just need the support of someone you can talk to openly

fwiw, after being damn careful all my life, i got preg with first son literally 14 days after I moved in with bf. I'd moved country to give it a go with him; before that we were a long distance relatinoship. We were using contraception!

He was horrified and his first, second and third reactoin was to press for an abortion. But I could not do that. He did come round and now he is a fantastic father (and we are expecting our second .. though the preg is horrible, but that is a whole diff story). Maybe your bf can do the same; maybe he won't, too. But that he had half an hour when he was looking forward to it may be a small positive sign.

But with him or without him, it sounds to me like you know what you want. Hold to that!

Agreed with everyone here- follow your instincts regarding the baby. Don't base your decision on anything other than whether or not you want the baby or not. Single parenting can be tough but loads of people do it and it can be easier and more rewarding than putting up with an unsupportive partner.

You need to do what's right for you op, you will be the one who lives with either decision. Many men do not connect with a baby until it is born and so terminating now would probably not affect him a great deal

My boyfriend wants me to get an abortion but I’m unsure 😓

My boyfriend wants me to get an abortion but I’m unsure 😐 I’ve just found out I’m early stages. He’s really not happy about it and doesn’t want to be a dad. I get we’re both probably not doing Financially Ready but no one ever is, we spoke about it before and agreed it was not the best decision rn we should wait until we’re ready. Now it’s happened I’m so unsure I don’t know what to do because he’s now saying he never wants kids and I’m scared this is my only opportunity but I don’t want to lose him as he said it will break us. I have no idea 😭😓

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I booked an abortion because my boyfriend at the time begged me to, then I found out he was sleeping with someone else the entire time. At that point, I was like why the hell am I going against my wants and beliefs for someone who doesn't even respect me? So I cancelled the abortion, told him he could be a part of my sons life if he wanted to and now it's eight years later, my boy is absolutely thriving, I'm married to a man who adores him as much as I do, with another bambino on the way. My point is, make the decision for yourself, not for anyone else.