Bad news at first scan

[EmberElftree]

I had my first scan this morning and saw the sac and the fetal pole but there is no heartbeat.

They did a urine test first which was a strong positive, then they did an external ultrasound but couldn't see much so she used a transvaginal.

The fetus measured 5mm so initially she said she thought I wasn't as far along.

I should be exactly 9 weeks today according to my LMP (16th Feb).

I haven't had any bleeding have had nausea off and on but no actual vomiting, excruciating boobs and headaches and have been getting my words muddled up which usually happens prior to menstruation.

I have to go back in a week for a radiology scan. She said either it's too early and we will see something next week or I will miscarry.

This is my first pregnancy so have no experience of any of this.

I guess there is a chance I could not be as far along - my cycles are not regular.

DH is taking a stoic we will remain positive until we know otherwise approach which I appreciate but who knows how to feel when it's completely out with your control?

I have read many stories about returning and seeing a heartbeat and of course the other alternative.

Have cried my eyes out already so have to just keep getting on with things. Such a disappointment when you're hoping to return home with a picture.

We wanted to tell our parents this afternoon as an Easter surprise ;-(

You poor thing

There is usually every chance dates are wrong, I would have said I was very regular until I started recording my cycles and realised they could alter by up to 10 days.

When did you get your BFP? That might help you determine a date?

Otherwise keep everything crossed. I know it's a terrifying time but your DH is right, until you know different try and stay positive.

Fingers crossed for you its your irregular cycle.

This is such a tough time. :( Thinking of you.

Thanks for your replies.

I got my BFP on 25th March, I did 4 home tests (just to be sure!) and then had bloods taken at the GP that day.

She took them again on 27th March and they had more than doubled.

I got a positive OPK on 5th March (CD18) which is why I'm thinking that I should be around 6 weeks 4 days today based on ov.

Is that correct?

My cycles are 31 days on average but they can vary a few days either way.

So confusing and frustrating as it's all in the lap of the gods as they say.

Time has never moved so slowly, usually I'm moaning that my life is flying before my eyes and now I feel like I'm walking through treacle.

Thanks for your advice ladies x

Ember

I was in the same situation over last Easter. It's awful waiting. That time didn't work out for me, but with this pregnancy my LMP puts me 4 weeks ahead! My period just didn't turn up one month and I definitely wasn't pg.
My cycle just randomly doubled, no idea why.

Try and keep busy until your scan, and post here when you need to.

Hello

Sorry to hear this. The same happened to me first time around. Went for the scan and no heartbeat. I had to wait a week for another scan in case I got my dates wrong, but I knew I was right. Was strange walking around for a week knowing it wasn't going to work out.

I ended up having an evacuation (not a great word) at 14 weeks as still no bleeding. I decided to be sad and cry for a short time, but then think about his strong my body was for holding on so long, I thought it meant I would be good at carrying another baby one day. I also thought that something hadn't been quite right and it was the best thing to have happened. I don't know of this'll work for you if your next scan isn't good news, but I hope so.

I now have a DS sleeping in the next room who is 2 on Wednesday and another on the way. So things do change slowly. You'll get there. Time unfortunately, just takes a long time. Good luck.

I have my fingers crossed it all works out for you!

I just wanted to say don't worry to much about what symptoms you do or don't have. I have only had a few symptoms in my current pregnancy (17+5) and a similar amount in my last (mmc at 8+6)

I know it's a totally strange feeling as I saw the fetus yesterday on my scan and Lozmatoz I also just have a feeling that he's already died and there will not be a heartbeat next week.

I felt sad and a bit angry yesterday as I felt we were cheated out of what should have been a joyful visit, not only for me but for my DH.

But today I feel like you mentioned Loz that something isn't right. I believe that everything happens for a reason.

It may be that we need time for the heartbeat to show but I think I know how this will conclude.

Thanks for all of your support. We hadn't told anyone yet so it's good to be able to share on here with you.

x

Ember, I had a scan at what should have been 7 weeks 3 days but I was told I was 6weeks there was no way I could of been I knew when we dtd and when I should have ov'd but I was wrong, I saw fetus but no heartbeat I had to wait 2weeks and I decided that that was it nope I am still behindon datez so they say but at 22 weeks we are sti fine yes she and I have got problems but she meant to be here so there is hope!

Wow that's great news frankie congratulations :o) I haven't given up hope yet and know that if this baby is meant to be in the world they will fight to be here like your little one.

Thanks for posting your story every little bit helps and all the best x

What Madrigals said. Before DC1 I had a similar experience and sadly a MMC was confirmed at a second scan. The MC board here was a lifesaver, as was my amazing DH. Our employers were also great and we had a week off while I had/recovered from an ERPC, filled it with gentle pottering and dog walks together which really helped put everything back together.

I'm now expecting DC2 (BTW this pregnancy I've had no symptoms at all, not even sore boobs, so symptoms are no indicator of success in pg or otherwise). I really hope you get a happy outcome this time but if not, as long as you have good support you'll get through this. DH actually amazed me with how brilliant he was and it's made us stronger.

Hi all,

Just wanted to say thanks for your well wishes and support, those of you who replied were a great comfort and my DH was surprised when I read him your posts - restored his faith in humanity somewhat I think!

I went to another ob/gyn for an appointment I'd made 3 weeks ago and I had a scan which confirmed that our little one stopped developing at 6 weeks 4 days.

Still no bleeding and I still feel pregnant with positive pregnancy test, high temps, symptoms all still here etc. - so now we have to wait for the miscarriage to actually happen.

I've to go back in 2 weeks so I hope that something will happen before then as it's already been around 2-4 weeks (depending on dates).

We decided to go the natural route as I'm scared that having a D&C may cause damage.

I feel good to know the outcome and no longer have a lingering hope at the back of my mind.

It is so sad that our journey has ended like this but on a positive note the gyn I met today filled me with confidence.

I feel positive about a future pregnancy being watched over by her. She was very straight talking and honest while being warm and supportive.

My poor DH broke down once we left the docs and said that he feels so empty which breaks my heart. He is a very sensitive soul on the inside.

I had already resigned myself to the fact that this is not our time so while I had the lump in my throat it wasn't such a massive shock to have it confirmed today but DH was still clinging on to the chance that there may have been a change since last week.

Just wanted to say thanks to you all.

Best wishes to all for healthy happy pregnancies now and in the future!

EE x

That is really sad Ember. My sympathies to your and your dh.

Sorry to hear that

ember so sorry to hear your news, I just wanted to say that when I had a mmc last year they offered to let me miscarry naturally (which my body was refusing to do) but I choose am Erpc (which is the updated d&c) as I didn't want to see it or feel it. I too was worried about the damage it may cause, but was reassured the chances were minimal and actually the procedure went ok.

I just wanted to reassure you incase you find yourself going down that road!

So sorry you are going through this. I was not in your situation but I have had 2 miscarriages, one before DS and one before this pregnancy. Give yourselves time to recover and don't give up hope.

Have been lurking on this thread hoping for good news for you, OP, so sad it wasn't. The miscarriage board here was a massive support to me and DH when I had a MMC four years ago, he's a real blokey bloke but just cried when he read about others in the same boat as us.

I opted for an ERPC as our little one had stopped developing five weeks before we found out, and I had no faith that my body would miscarry naturally having already held on for so long. That was in June - had my next period in October and got pregnant straight afterwards. DC1 is now sleeping upstairs and I'm expecting DC2 in four weeks, despite being the wrong side of 35 with both subsequent pregnancies. So in my case, surgery didn't have a detrimental effect on my fertility and I immediately felt much more able to cope with the loss once the pregnancy hormones were gone.

Leaving things to happen naturally can result in needing an op anyway if it doesn't happen completely, so please look after yourself and go to hospital if you feel at all unwell. Be kind to yourselves.

Sorry to hear that chuck :( my hubby was the same but hed been through it 6times from a previous relationship so it opened some old wounds again for him when it happened to us. I already knew fro. The moment i started bleeding, tht something was wrong. But i. Also had to put up with family being in denial and hubby not wanting to bileave it as i too had positives. I felt so useless for jot being able to carry his child whereas he felt like it was all his fault :( broke my heart aswell seing him loke it and hearinghose words, but i stayed string fir the both of us and now we got a lil man on the way :) so its not all bad, and can happen for you bothone day. Semding you my hugs xx