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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Behaviour of partner when you're pregnant...

25 replies

ohthegoats · 17/04/2014 17:57

.. have any of yours done things like give up booze in support? Changed their behaviour in any other way that you haven't insisted on/asked for, but might be a nice gesture?

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slightlyinsane · 17/04/2014 18:15

Sex!!! He hasn't given anything up without me hinting it would be nice. He seemed ok to give up booze but that didn't last and he had a real toddler tantrum at the meressuggestion of giving up full fat coffee. I'm not fussed these days, I was more so with dd1 10 yrs ago but can't be doing with his sulking these days.

Flexiblefriend · 17/04/2014 18:17

No, DH carried on as normal while I was pregnant. He was great when DD actually arrived though. To be fair I didn't ask him to give anything up as I couldn't see much point.

Original poster

ohthegoats · 17/04/2014 18:22

Mine has totally carried on as normal. I'm half with him - why bother giving up stuff, it's never going to be the same with boozing and late nights so he may as well enjoy it. But also,mI'm half resenting every alcoholic drink he has, every coffee and every night out that doesn't end at 10pm. I have to bite my tongue a lot.

OP posts:

Gen35 · 17/04/2014 18:24

My dh hasn't given up booze but he's significantly cut back, he has only had a drink at home twice in 16 weeks. He's also been doing more with dc1 re pick ups from nursery as I'm often knackered at the end of the day. I think it's part of being sensitive. I wouldn't ban him but I would be a bit annoyed if he was getting drunk every weekend with me watching.

squishysquirmy · 17/04/2014 18:32

Mine offered to give up alcohol in solidarity, but I told him he didnt have to (didnt see the point). I didnt really miss alcohol that much for most of my pregnancy though, so probably would have felt differently otherwise.
Towards the end I really began to crave baileys for some reason, so used to make him drink it then kiss me with his yummy baileys lips. (Typing this has made me realise how weird this actually was).

Eminybob · 17/04/2014 18:57

Mine has cut back on going out and drinking, but more to help save money for when baby comes than in support!

His behaviour has changed though, he seems more affectionate and loving (not that he wasn't before, just more so now)

Mabelandmaude · 17/04/2014 19:07

Do people expect their partners to give up
Booze?

squizita · 17/04/2014 19:08

To be fair I didn't ask him to give anything up as I couldn't see much point.
This! I'm only giving up things for the good of the baby, what's the point of him not getting a cold beer on a Friday, a rare steak or some brie. :) Although my DH is a jolly soul and not excessive.

One thing he did right off was stop smoking in/near the house. He uses e-cigg stick thingies now. He even admitted that his chest feels better for them and given he was resolutely 'no nanny state will stop me' before the pregnancy that's a big admission! He also comes out with stuff about child development and birth which suggests that he has been reading up about things, bless.

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 17/04/2014 19:13

If DH eats pastrami or rare steak when I'm pregnant I pull this face so he knows not to.

He won't drink when I'm past about 6 months as with t'other two we've had to go in at short notice for monitoring etc, although if there is a big/important night out planned we'll make sure there is someone on standby to watch kids if I need to go in asap.

alita7 · 17/04/2014 19:14

He's actually giving up smoking properly for once :)

Poppet77 · 17/04/2014 19:26

I don't get why it matters what DH consumes. What he consumes will not affect the baby so why should he suffer just because I can't eat and drink certain things. DH has been his ususal considerate and helpful self. I am exhausted most of the time so he happily does all cooking, driving, chores, etc. He is great and can drink as much beer and eat as much Brie as he likes!

ZingHasAHotCrossBunInTheOven · 17/04/2014 20:08

why should he give up alcohol?
how weird.

when I suffered from very bad morning sickness I did ask him to skip the takeaway curry a few times (coz I'd be sick from pungent smell) and he happily obliged, but why should he give up anything for 9 months just because I can't have it?

just bizarre.

oh, and I also don't make him wake up in the night when I bf so that he can suffer from sleep deprivation too.

stargirl1701 · 17/04/2014 20:12

Our bed Poor DH

I find his 'smell' awful in the first trimester and he shifted to the spare room. As soon as my morning sickness went, the aversion disappeared and he got back!

RAFWife12 · 17/04/2014 20:41

My DH gave up any alcoholic drink that I like. So white wine, baileys, cider. He still kept drinking beer and red wine as I don't like those. I didn't ask him to, in fact I told him he didn't have to when he told me what he was doing (i was asking him why he turned down white wine at Christmas). He hasn't given up anything else - he was never really a go out and get drunk kind of person. He wont eat anything I'm not allowed in front of me though. Now he's away he doesn't get any alcohol or decent food! That's not my fault though.
I don't get the thing of men giving up stuff just coz the woman has to. Why make 2 people miss things for the sake of one person?

Jcb77 · 17/04/2014 23:04

Smoking. Finally. I think/hope for good this time. And when I had super acute sense of smell he even cut back on his e-cig thingy as the smell of him puffing upstairs would make me vom downstairs. Can barely smell it now!
Also buying random shit from eBay , although random stuff seems to have morphed a bit into baby stuff. This boy has a greater shopping habit than most girls I know!

EllaBella220 · 18/04/2014 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenguinsLoveFishFingers · 18/04/2014 15:00

For me it would depend whether it was having a bad effect on me. So, for example, if the smell of something (like curry or whatever) made me feel sick, it'd be nice to think he'd be considerate. Likewise, it's no fun sitting in on a Friday night with someone getting sloshed in the corner - but DH wouldn't really drink more than a couple in that situation anyway.

Other than that, I don't really mind what he does.

ikeaismylocal · 18/04/2014 15:12

My dp hasn't had any alcohol since I became pregnant but that is more because we would usually have a glass of wine or cider together and as I'm not drinking he doesn't bother to buy any for himself, I am the one who is more fond of the occasional drink, he just gets something for himself to join in it seems.

I sent dp out to his work christmas party when I was a week overdue with dc1 with the instruction to get drunk because then sods law would say that I'd go into labour (and I was desperate for the baby to come out) it didn't work, but dp had a fun time.

Dp has been amazing this pregnancy, he has done all of the cooking and house work and got up early with toddler ds so I can sleep as long as possible every day. He buys food for all my odd cravings, last night he dashed to the shop to buy carrots 5 minuites before they closed.

Bails2014 · 18/04/2014 17:52

Mine has been amazing, he said he doesn't like drinking wine without me and has taken over most of the cooking as I really didn't fancy it when I had morning sickness.

Considering he's a few years younger than me he really is perfect, we're an excellent team!

Barbsta · 18/04/2014 21:26

My husband has been amazing this has made me realise how lucky I am tbh. As soon as I say I have a restless foot he massages it and when he can tell I'm tired he does all the housework. He's listened to my rant about work (the only thing that gets me really angry) and then makes plans to take me somewhere for a meal then a nice walk to calm me down. I was worried he wasn't quite ready to look after me and our baby but he has really stepped up to the mark :)

SassehMonsta · 19/04/2014 06:34

Mine hasnt given up anythinf (and I dont expect him to). But he has said since we found out he feels a lot more like he doesnt want to let me out of his sight, that hes feelibg very protective of me! Lots more hand holding, gentle massages and sex than usual!!

SouthDerbyshireMamma · 19/04/2014 19:36

Why would anyone want or expect their partner to give anything up? As far as I'm concerned our lives haven't stopped because we are having a baby. Just because I cant eat/drink it, doesn't mean my boyfriend shouldn't.

My boyfriend is being great with me most of the time. My mood swings are awful so for putting up with that alone makes him a star in my eyes. He's very protective of me and hes now pulling is weight more around the house.

I'm his personal taxi service at the moment but I'll cash in my 40 weeks worth of lifts post baby

Buffy81 · 19/04/2014 20:02

I have no it made mine give anything up. He now dose more of the heavy lifting from when we have been food shopping and its got things like squash/coke. He carried most of the nursery furniture up by himself other that a couple of bits that we asked a friend to help

coffeetofunction · 19/04/2014 20:23

My DH has finally stopped drinking while I'm expecting, he's also thoughtful about the other things I can't have ie runny eggs, liver, patè....

I'm giving him the 1 thing he could never live without & he wants to show his support & appreciation. I'm doing the hardwork, he's sooo greatful he doesn't have to suffer like me...

He's even planning on bring me nandos liver to hospital when DC is here, then a steak & cheese meal with red wine when I come home!!

PurplePunkPrincess · 20/04/2014 13:43

My dp gave up energy drinks as I was struggling to avoid all the things I shouldn't be having while pregnant. He was so miserable and quiet I stuck a can of monster in the freezer for a couple of hours and told him to drink it :)

I understand the concept but I really don't want a miserable moody partner while I'm miserable and moody

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