I have been crying for the past hour non stop...

[Boudica1990]

My baby is always on my back nerves causing me discomfort, I can't sleep at night properly but that's not my only problem my main problem is I miss dp.

He is away for a month I can't talk to him, message him zero contact. I really need a cuddle off him and he is not here. I feel so lonely the lonliness is keeping me awake at night. I can't stop crying it's like he is my comforter and he is not here :(

And now I just feel silly and pathetic.

Aw, boudicca

I know you've had a tough time of it and a recent nasty infection, so only natural you will feel crap without your OH there to go through it with you

Not much help, but do you have some girlfriends who can come round and cheer you up? or a big sister nearby? My friends and family were my rock when I was a newly single parent pregnancy.

And with regard to the way baby is lying, on all fours, leaning on a bean bag or exercise ball is meant to help the baby re-position themself.

Also, are you sure the kidney infection isn't back? Maybe worth getting checked out.

hi lacks No sister no girlfriends near by I'm feeling a little isolated too which dosnt help. :(

I had a urine check on Wednesday all was clear, also it's more central pain than turbine sided, I'll giv leaning over the ball a try see if that helps. Thank you so much for the advice.

I just feel like dp is the only person who can comfort me and I can't even talk to him. I'm also starting to dread the 13 weeks post birth where I will also have no contact and be alone with a brand new baby! Think that's making it worse too.

Gosh, what does he do that means no contact whoatsoever? Is he a spy or a deep undercover policeman?

Surely he can get letters to you? Proper old fashioned letters? They would actually be nice to receive. When DH and I were first together we would write all the time; now we barely even grunt at each other

for you; it'll get better, and as a single parent (although ex came round and was there for the birth and for two weeks post birth and we are now married with two more), I loved our first weeks together just me and DS. Just don't try and do too much, prove too much to yourself or others; nest and bond and tell the world to go away and take lots of photos and films for your DP to share in when he can xx

and can I apologise for being a bit harsh on your AIBU thread ...I had a big op last Friday and was sore and curmudgeonly and posting all sorts of annoyed crap all over MN that day.

If I told you I'd have to kill you but fear not he has no license to kill.

I feel a little better now a good friend of mine saw my fb status (a bit of a asking for someone to talk to one) and he rang me and we had a nice chat, he is in a similar career as DP.

No no letter I have no forwarding address on this occasion, and even when on tour unfortunately they go off grid sometimes and its near on impossible and BFPO letters are slow to get to them or don't get there at all.

Think with newborn were going to spend most time sleeping at the same time cuddling or feeding, I don't plan to do much more. I don't Luke the thought of going anywhere alone with a newborn so will probably stay in and bond in my woman cave baha.

And don't worry. Its the tinternet, and we all love a good grump and moan especially when feeling poorly. Hope your feeling better though! Plenty of rest and get DH on tea making duties :)

Hi Boudicca, one of our neighbours does a similar job and is often away from his DW & 4 kids for a couple of months at a time. She has both their parents around quite a bit to help but is a very self-sufficient lady too.
Try not to worry about after baby arrives, you will have plenty to keep you busy, but if you feel isolated, being a new mum is the easiest time to make new friends, so don't write it off just yet. I was quite new to my area when I had DD, now 2, I went to a couple of baby groups during the week. Helped to get me up and out, walking to get fresh air and exercise, and met some good friends. Many will be in similar positions, e.g DH working away a lot, so will understand how you feel. I feel very embedded in the local community now, can barely go to the shops without bumping into someone I know .

I meant to say, for now, take each day as it comes, give yourself plenty of rest and breaks, you are doing fab, and you know your DH is proud of you.

How are you feeling today boudica? I hope things are a bit brighter. And I echo what corporesarnie says; meeting new mums is the easiest thing in the world. Are you on a base? My friend whose DH was in the army met lots of new friends once they were actually living on the bases rather than when they lived off base as there was a real community feel to it and lots of groups/social events; though I appreciate that not all bases are the same.

Have you been on the forces sweethearts forum on here? There might be someone on there who is close to you?

Sounds really tough for you and I hope you find a way to feel better soon. Definitely see if you can find other people you feel able to talk to if you can - particularly if long/silent absences are something you have to go through often.

It might also help to write him a letter, even if you can't get it to him until he's back; say all the things you want to say in it, perhaps even imagine how he'd respond if he were there. I've found it can be surprisingly comforting even if no substitute for the real thing!

Hope the time until he's back passes quickly.