views on bottle & breastfeeding?

[bloominbumpy]

I plan to bf baby for six months although this is my first so obviously I have no knowledge of wether this will be possible for me.

My biggest aim is to make sure babe is getting breast milk in some form and am hoping to combine breast and express bottle feeds so partner can enjoy the closeness to and i can have a break :)

what's everyones views/experience on this?
is it easy to do?
Any tips?

I am happy to only bottle feed expressed milk if thats what it comes to but obviously would love to be able to do both!

We did that with our first and plan on doing it again.
DP gave DS my expressed milk for his last feed on a night as we found that way I could get to bed early and have a good few hours of uninterrupted sleep. He took to the bottle well and didn't get confused between breast and bottle, but I know not all babies are like that. I think it's more something you just have to tackle at the time as you don't know what your baby will be like.

Only bottle feeding expressed milk is a massive, massive undertaking. It is all the hard work of bottle feeding (sterilising, time spent bottle feeding, preparing to go out), plus all the work of breastfeeding (time spent expressing, timing expressing on top of feeds). It can also be hard to maintain supply, etc. IME, the women who do this are women who are utterly, utterly committed to breastfeeding but have a psychological or physical problem in doing so. I wouldn't see it as a fall back.

In terms of giving some bottles, well it's a myth that fathers need to feed to bond. That's basically formula marketing seeping into breastfeeding culture. But if you want to give a bottle of EBM, yes by all means do so. Lots of people do and find it lovely and helpful.

As a PP has said, often a good way is to give it a few weeks for things to settle down, then choose a time of day which suits. Before bed is often a good one. You can express and then get a good stretch of sleep before the first night waking by going to bed early.

I had planned to breastfeed. DS had other ideas as he had a posterior tongue tie and even after it was snipped he wouldn't latch on. I expressed for four weeks and spent my entire life either expressing or feeding him the bottle. The sofa had an arse shaped dent in it. I was totally totally miserable and my hat is off to anyone who can feed with EBM for more than a month as it was soul destroying. And I had awful guilt when I went from EBM to formula - even though he was fine and thriving.

I really hope with this one I will be able to breastfeed because I can't imagine I'll do a month of EBM again.

Previously I have mixed bf and ff from very early on. I could never express enough for a feed and got to a point where I didn't want to. From my experiences there has never been a need to wait a few wks for supply to settle down before I introduced a bottle and I completely ignored the whole nipple confusion information about mixed feeding. Introduce a bottle as and when you want there is nothing wrong with it, especially when it can give you some much needed rest. I plan on mix feeding these 2 from the start again and don't care what peoples thoughts are going to be, I know that I'm going to need all the help I can get so handing one over with a bottle will be a god send.

We do what you're describing from time to time. But it's hard work - expressing can be very frustrating. DD also goes through bottle refusal phases (she's perfectly capable of getting the milk out of it but misses the comfort of breastfeeding I think). For DH it's not so much about bonding but he says it makes him feel less helpless if he can do something when she's crying because she's hungry.

Some suggestions based on my experience:

• be flexible, don't beat yourself up if you have to change plans
• don't embark on an expressing plan until the basics work and your DC is thriving on breast milk delivered the traditional way
• someone should taste the milk before giving it to the baby, it can go sour and in my experience the times recommended to keep it for don't always match reality
• start early but bear in mind that your boobs think an expressed bottle is a baby and supply will adjust accordingly
• different babies like different bottles, if you can borrow one of each to start with that can help.
• a good pump DOES make a difference, get a hospital grade one if you can

Good luck!

As far as I know it is advisable to ebf for the first 4-6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion and help establish your supply. After that you can introduce a bottle to have some help from your DP, although in my experience it was such a huge hassle to express milk that it was easier just to bf and forget about bottles.

Exclusively expressing is exceptionally difficult, aside from anything else you will have to do it through the night, so you'll have to get up every 2-3 hours, sterilise, pump, feed the baby and try to go back to sleep. That is a nightmare!

There are literally hundreds of threads on mixing feeding in the Bottle and Breastfeeding topic - of you've got the patience you could do a search. Otherwise, I'd advise maybe attending a local breastfeeding cafe/support group before you give birth, so you can chat to mums who are breastfeeding and get some advice. La Leche League and Kellymom.com also have tons of resources on their sites tthat you might find useful.

I'd agree that despite what you find out/decide you would like to do, the best thing you can do is to keep an open mind once the baby's born and ask for help if you need it.

I found expressing very difficult. I could breastfeed no problem, but could express very little even with a hospital grade pump. It is harder to express than breast feed.

I would agree with others that the "dad bonding" idea is nonsense, but if you want to try the last feed of the day for extra rest, that is fine if you understand you are risking interfering with supply and may make things harder for you later.

The first six weeks of breast feeding are hard, but after that it becomes much easier than bottle feeding! Hope it all goes well for you.

I tried this with my first but it didn't go as planned, mainly because DD decided that she didn't want a bottle. Luckily I had no real problems with bf, but it did start to feel like a bind when it sunk in that I really couldn't leave her with anyone else for more than 2 hrs as I was the only one who could feed her. I spent a fortune on bottles and teats trying to find one she would take, but she was having none of it. It was all a bit of a waste really.

Also agree with others that expressing is a major faff and takes up time you don't really have at the newborn stage. I won't be trying it with DS, I want to spend more time cuddling!

I've pretty much just breastfed because expressing enough to bottle feed and build up a supply for when I'm out/at work is a total pain the arse. My husband has still managed to bond with our baby just fine . He spends plenty of time with him, playing, bathing, changing nappies and clothes, and to be honest all of these things offer more interaction than bottle feeding. I don't think either has missed out as a result.

For us, bottle feeding is a bit of a chore because DS isn't great at it - he was bottle fed in nicu, and it took us a while to establish bf, so we avoided bottles for ages, now I think we'll move to using a cup.

Just feeding expressed milk from a bottle is a massive undertaking, I've heard it described as the worst of both worlds, and I can see why. You really need to organise yourself to be able to express every so often (so days out might be an issue early on). A bit of breast and bottle is totally manageable, it's just not (IMO) that necessary for father-baby bonding.

I would keep an open mind, not plan too much and respond to your baby...

Like you I planned to bf for 6 months, and give bottles of ebm as and when too, but didn't pan out that way... Ds was a bottle refuser, and I couldn't express, even with a hospital grade pump! I ended up feeding him til he was gone! Dd arrived.... Took to bottle (from anyone!) straight away, and I could express loads just using a cheap hand pump someone gave me!

I dont buy the dad feeding to bond thing so much tho... Dh isn't any closer to dd just because he gives her a bottle, that's just us tho!

Good luck with it all! Enjoy every minute xx

I would say be flexible. Don't say I'm going to only breast feed. You have no idea how it'll work out.

Expressing and feeding is very hard work! Just bear that in mind.

Thanks for all the advice guys!

I am keeping a very open mind and going with we will see what happens approach just interested in whether it does work.

I never think of dad being able to feed as "bonding" just that it means he can have that cuddly time. I don't expect it to radically change their relationship just that he would be part of the whole process.

I'm not against formula feeding at all so maybe I could try and mix that in if ebm fails? Although I know its not normally recommended. But imo breast is best overall if conditions allow. I would exclusively breastfeed but I already know of a couple of occasions where it would be very helpful if babe could spend the day with grandparents so bottle feeding of some kind would be amust by then if that was the case. Again I don't have a complete issue NOT being able to do this and of course would not abandon or stop breastfeeding just to be able to do this for a couple of occasions.
But of course it would be very useful if we could have the best of both worlds as it were! :)

TBH I don't think there's any point in over-thinking this now. Plans go out of the window once baby arrives! In terms of being prepared, I wouldn't bother buying bottles/pump ahead of time, these things are easy to buy after LO is born.

If you intend to BF, just stick with that until such a time that you feel you need to introduce a bottle. It's easy to imagine that having a baby is like Christmas – all the shops will be shut – when actually nipping to a 24hr Tesco for bottles/ready-made formula is pretty much within reach of everyone!

As someone has mentioned you need to be prepared for expressing not to work. I EBF for 6 months successfully but was never able to express more than a few drops with a pump and nothing by hand.

Also DS and DH are inseparable despite me EBF and BFing in total for 17 months

Try looking for mixed feeding - there are many people who have done it successfully - I did give formula rather than expressing when DS was away from me - from 8m.

My friend did it a really good way of breastfeeding exclusively for about 4/5 months and then started phasing in one formula a day... last thing at night i think. Then added another and then replaced the morning with formula and badda bing she was weaned at 6ish months when her mat leave ended.

I quit cold turkey at about 3 months and it was really uncomfortable for about 4 days. This i wouldn't recommend.

I think how easy it is depends on baby and mother. My DD was a doodle to bf. I never had any pain, she had a real strong suck and a feed was within 10min even at new born stage. I remembered going to see a bf counsellor and asked if it was ok to have such short feeds.

I planned to give expressed bf once a day but my breasts would not have any of it. I couldn't get 10ml out after pumping for ages. In the end it was just easier to simply bf.

I think you simply have to go in with an open mind. And remember to get help if you struggle with bf. the support in this country is shocking and most midwife doesn't know how to help women to bf.

I went back to work when DD was 7mo. She wouldn't take a bottle until she figured out feeding herself with it, and only with the NUK brown teats. She also drank less than a small carton for the whole day at nursery. I think I stopped packing formula in her bag about 10mo.

I continued to do morning and night feeds till 18mo.

And the break and closeness doesn't have to come from feeding. Though ofc if you end up with those needing an hour to feed it would be very different from my experience.

DH did lots of nappy and baby carrying. Don't underestimate the time needed to walk the baby up and done the house! DD didn't like to be put down. And she loved sleeping on DH chests while DH walks. He also did baths.

my view is short & sweet.... happy mum, happy baby. Do what makes you happy & confident & be as open & prepared for every eventuality as you can be.

I wanted to BF & just assumed I would. within 24 hours after baby being born & constant tears, stress & anxiety baby was happily FF & we never looked back. this time have prepared to FF from day 1 but am just going to see how we go & if I feel I want to try BF again I will!

Good luck, you'll find your way x

I BF my 4, loved it. Was advised not to express for a couple of weeks as can affect supply. In fact i never expressed.
My husband never felt left out, or that he never bonded. Winding, nappy changing, bathing, cuddles can all be done by him

Those planning on breastfeeding did you buy bottles/steriliser? Don't know if should so got it if need be or worth just finding out what want and getting if need be!

ickle, I had one bottle in the house, and no formula milk. DH had to run out after we got back from hospital to get some for her

I bought a breast pump beforehand and for me, it was a life saver, as I got mastitis as soon as I got home, and managed to use it to express the milk and reduce the pain. No idea what I would have done without it. Probably would have ended up back in hospital.

But I think it would depend on the how much support you have around you. We had no family around us, so we couldn't ask someone to pick us up a bottle or a pump. If I were living close to my family, then that would've easily been done, and I wouldn't have had to prepare for every eventuality.