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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

No sexy time

11 replies

Lula2515 · 09/04/2014 18:34

I know there's a similar thread on at the moment about DHs not willing to DTD with their heavily pregnant partners...my issue is that I'm only 10weeks and my DP is having none of it!
As soon as I told him I was pregnant he's seemed turned off. I think it didn't help that I had a slight bleed after we had sex at 7weeks, but I feel like if I want sex I have to really persuade him, and that's not great for my self esteem! I even rang the midwife to check about the bleed and told him DP SHE SAID WE DON'T HAVE TO ABSTAIN!
Argh...any advice? Anyone had the same? We're loving in other ways, like fall asleep cuddling every night, so I know I should be grateful but goddam I have needs!

OP posts:
SJC2014 · 09/04/2014 18:36

Some men get freaked out by it.. I personally have gone completely off of it the thought of my partner touching my impregnanted lady bits makes me sick Confused

mssleepyhead · 09/04/2014 18:56

We haven't dtd since finding out I'm pregnant... I know it's bad, but I just don't want to any more : ( DH seems to be in a similar place too.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/04/2014 19:41

I think you just have to leave it. Nagging is deeply unsexy. Look for a compromise where you're satisfied but he's not anxious.

squizita · 09/04/2014 20:05

Could the bleed have scared him? TBH this is the calmest I've ever heard someone mention a bleed in pregnancy, so you may well be more level headed about it than him.

Usually it terrifies the woman! I bleed after sex so am abstaining as having had losses it is just too scary (and by-the-book, every bleed should mean an appointment with a Dr or midwife! Did yours offer to see you?) ...but maybe your DP is frightened he might hurt the embryo?
If so just saying you're allowed won't do much good.

Could you be intimate without doing the full deed, if this is what concerns him?

Original poster
Lula2515 · 09/04/2014 20:38

Oh dear now I feel like a sex craved freak Blush

Yes I think it did scare him, and it scared me too- they didn't offer to see me so I'm just trying to ignore it tbh. Last time I drove myself mad with worry and had a mmc so don't think the worry was healthy.

I think if I'm perfectly honest, the real issue is that I feel a bit gross in myself ..bloated etc... And I want to feel wanted.

OP posts:
squizita · 09/04/2014 20:50

Last time I drove myself mad with worry and had a mmc so don't think the worry was healthy.

Thanks the worry had NOTHING to do with your loss, so don't worry about worrying (if that makes sense?).

Boogles91 · 09/04/2014 23:02

At the mo....im finding it really uncomfortable to have sex with bump being there(26wks) and im tender inside :s so i dont mind keeping my man happy if you catch my drift, though hes already said hes missing the closeness of sex. it was about 20 wks when i started to show and up until then he couldnt keep me away from him :p i do normally have a high sex drive.....when this lil mans out and ive given myself enough time to "heal" inside and out im planning on a good night of it! Gonna get my hair done and get some new lingerie. He doesnt knkw as im keeping it a suprise for him :p as hes due 6days after my birthday, hubbys promised he will take me out when im ready :) so i can make up for it as i doubt ill be able to do much....especially if he cooks quicker and comes a bit earlier :p i understand how its affecting you and how you feel, try talking to him and explain your feelings. Tell him although sex is not the be all of a relationship but that its important for you both as when your bigger its going to be awkward and that you already feel like crap due to hormones and need a pick me up as they say :) alot of men do find it puts them off. Im lucky to have a hubby who couldnt wait for me to get plumper lol and im normally very slim....its taken some getting used to being bigger x

Original poster
Lula2515 · 10/04/2014 07:18

Thanks Boggles, nice that someone understands where I'm coming from! X

OP posts:
slightlyinsane · 10/04/2014 08:56

Last pregnancy I went through a few wks of not being able to get enough which completely freaked dh out as I had a big bump by then. This time im the complete opposite and dh is doing his best to try and persuade me. We have an eviction wk planned (long story) and I've told him I will agree as a last resort then lol.

jaykay34 · 10/04/2014 10:55

I found out three weeks ago that I was pregnant and then a dating scan a week later revealed I was quite far gone (14/15 weeks).

Since telling my partner on the day I found out, we did not have sex until last night - a whole 3 weeks -;which is unusual for us. Must admit, my partner has struggled to come to terms with the pregnancy ( he still won't talk about it) and has been less affectionate anyway so I put it down to this.

He actually initiated it last night, so its given me some hope that there will be some sexual contact during the pregnancy.

Good luck !

JeDeLo · 10/04/2014 17:08

My DH has gone off it as well. I'm a little offended, but on the other hand - not massively in the mood so also a little relieved. I think it freaks him out that the baby is there with us, especially now she's kicking and punching all the time.

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