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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

44, pregnant and in shock - desperate for some reassurance

22 replies

skybluedaze · 08/04/2014 23:11

DH and I have long since accepted that we are infertile, moved on from ivf and made a new life for ourselves. So shocked to the core to find I'm pregnant - probably about 6 weeks - and not menopausal as I'd assumed. Is this my ovaries final, doomed mission or could it really be a viable pregnancy??? I'd be very grateful for any advice or reassurance... Am feeling this can't last but really want it to....

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weebigmamma · 09/04/2014 03:53

Congratulations! :-)

I have no experience that's like yours but wanted to wish you all the very best of luck! Nature is weird and sometimes wonderful xxx

Wurstwitch · 09/04/2014 04:16

Lol, same thing happened to my friend. She'd been told not to bother with contraception as there was no way she could have children.

They bought a speed boat after they turned forty, fully intending to make the most of their child free lifestyle. At 44 she went to the doc with varicose veins and they booked her for the surgery to deal with them. At the surgical appointment they gave her a routine pg test before surgery.

TA daaaaaa! She was about 4 months along - just thought it was middle aged spread along with the varicose veins. Hadn't even crossed her mind she might be pg. she spent about three months in shock..

Congratulations - I wish you the best of luck and good fortune xxx

snowqu33n · 09/04/2014 04:34

Congratulations!! I had my DS at 44 just before Christmas. I have got used to the lack of sleep and he is VERY cute. Our families are delighted. Good luck!

AngryBeaver · 09/04/2014 04:54

Congratulations!
It could very well all turn out to be just fine you know?
If you want to exercise a bit of self preservation, then try and stay detached. (Hard, I know)
It's what I have done with this pregnancy from the start. Never believed it would happen (I've got 2 weeks to go and still haven't let it sink in)
Little steps is my advice to you. Take each week/scan/test as it comes.
I hope with everything that you will get to week 40 :)

oohdaddypig · 09/04/2014 05:01

No advice but can I say congratulations?! I do know of lots if successful pg at 44. Fingers crossed for you.

Foxeym · 09/04/2014 11:11

I had my DC3 5 months ago age 42, no different from my pregnancies before when I was much younger. I was worried initially about my age until my midwife assured me that she actually had more women over 40 than below and it was quite common now. I had more checks etc and wasn't allowed to go over 39 weeks but had no issues at all and now have a healthy DS, good luck and congrats

Thisisimpossible · 09/04/2014 11:13

Congratulations skybluedaze! I was told 15 months ago that I had a very limited supply of eggs left (I'm nearly 40 now) and that I would probably run out in approximately 18 months from that time. We had pretty much assumed that it wasn't going to happen for us despite trying (couldn't face IVF) and I was slowly adjusting to it. My cycles started to get longer when they'd previously been 26 days without fail and last cycle I had cried my eyes out to DH because I thought we had missed the boat. The following day I did a test because I was 10 days late, it was the weekend and I wanted to have a glass of wine with a clear conscience. I was absolutely positive that I wasn't pregnant and for the first time POAS I didn't sit and watch it intently waiting for the (always previously non-existent) line to appear. When I finally looked at it and it was positive I went into shock.

So here I am, 8.2 weeks and excited but also absolutely terrified that something's going to go wrong. I'm sorry, I have no experience to share other than understanding your apprehension but I am sending you positive vibes and keeping everything crossed. I wish you loads of luck and good fortune Take care xxx

PS. Some wise soul on here said recently that the best way to think was 'today I am pregnant' rather than focus on what might happen. I have found that a real help. xx

BriePate · 09/04/2014 11:25

Congratulations skyblue that's wonderful news and must be quite a shock after all you've been through. There's a 40+ pregnancy thread on this board here with lots of supportive older mums-to-be.

The best of luck with your pregnancy!

neffi · 09/04/2014 11:29

Congratulations, what a wonderful wonderful shock it must have been. I hope all goes well. You just need to try and relax (easier said than done I know!) and trust in your body.

nochips · 09/04/2014 11:32

Congratulations!!!!!!

How wonderful. :)

spiderlight · 09/04/2014 11:32

Congratulations!! My mum had me with no problems at all at nearly 47, after decades of thinking she was infertile, so it can happen!

ghostinthecanvas · 09/04/2014 11:41

Congratulations and wishing you and your DH all the love and luck you need. I have an uncle 8 years older than me and a cousin 45 years younger! My gran was shell shocked and all was well, 50+ years ago. My cousin had both hers in her forties, as did a school friend. The kids are all doted on by us 'elderly' folk and the mums both look fabulous and at least 10 years younger

FoodieMum3 · 09/04/2014 11:42

I've heard of this happening many times. Couples accepting that they were infertile, putting ttc behind them, moving on and then bingo - Pregnant.

Congratulations and wishing you a very safe and happy pregnancy

crispyporkbelly · 09/04/2014 11:44

Weeeeeee congratulations!

SolomanDaisy · 09/04/2014 11:45

Congratulations! I hope it is a viable pregnancy.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 09/04/2014 11:51

Congratulations! How wonderful.

If it was me I would go to the GP (in my areas they do the mw referral) as due to your age you will be more looked after. I say this as a pregnant 36 year old, apparently I have to have a glucose test due to 'my age'! Or look on your local hospital website and see if you need to self refer to the mw.

How are you feeling? Of course there's every possibility it's viable, I wish you lots of luck!

SomethingOnce · 09/04/2014 12:48

Amazing! Congratulations!

There's nothing to do but take it day by day and hope for the best

Mildpanic · 09/04/2014 13:06

Congratulations. Really hope this goes well for you.
I have just had my 3rd DC a week before my 43rd birthday.
I understand this is slightly different as I have had 2 previous dc's but nevertheless I totally get your concerns.
I spent the whole pregnancy worried sick and doubting it would be ok. All the medical professionals were really reassuring and certainly not concerned about my age. I didn't have any extra care or tests due to my age. They just prefer not to let you go past term.
I did however go to the FMC in Harley Street to have the Harmony blood test, although this is accessible countrywide.

This was my easiest pregnancy and everyone said how well I looked throughout, (think that was the not drinking tbh)

Any pregnancy is a time of worry and concern so that is normal. We are so much fitter these days and if your body has got this far with a pregnancy you can only put your faith in it and go with day to day.

Have you got your pregnancy vits/folic acid?
Get your booking appointment with the midwife as well. You don't need to go through the go just ring the surgery and ask for a midwife booking appointment.

Good luck.

guthriegirl · 09/04/2014 15:35

Congratulations! I'm 43 and am about to have my second on Sat( being induced at 39 weeks due to advanced maternal age!). Had my first 6 weeks before my 40th having been told my ovarian reserve was pathetic. My consultant has mentioned my age a lot but the other HCP have been completely nonplussed. My gran had my dad at 45 then went on to have my aunt at 47. Pregnancy is a worrying time whatever age. Taking it one day at a time helps.
I had harmony test as my odds for chromosonal issues were high. It was expensive ( in Scotland cheaper on London) but it allowed me to relax a little. Join the 40+ thread. It's great to know you are not alone.

Good luck. Hope all goes well.

3littlefrogs · 09/04/2014 15:37

I had my 3rd at 42.
Best thing that ever happened.
I really hope it all goes well.

Annarose2014 · 09/04/2014 17:16

A friend of mine had to have an ovary removed in her late thirties. When she was 44 she unexpectedly conceived - she was shocked beyond belief.

I won't lie, she was extremely anxious throughout the whole pregnancy. Her and her DH were a bit grim-faced with fear throughout. Petrified it wouldn't stick, and even more petrified of defects.

BUT the baby was born when she was 45, perfect in every way (only a 2 hr labour!) and when I saw them the following week they looked 10 years younger. All the worry had evaporated overnight. The baby is now about a year old and they seem pretty chilled and contented.

In other words, don't beat yourself up for being scared - you may ge scared for 9 months and thats ok. But fear doesn't mean its not gonna be ok in the end.

5madthings · 09/04/2014 17:21

Congratulations!

Two family members have both had babies at 44 minute last few months, one after many years of ffailed bid and this was a natural pregnancy and a ssurprise, the other also a surprise. Both had baby girls who are fabulous!

Good luck xx

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