44, pregnant and in shock - desperate for some reassurance

[skybluedaze]

DH and I have long since accepted that we are infertile, moved on from ivf and made a new life for ourselves. So shocked to the core to find I'm pregnant - probably about 6 weeks - and not menopausal as I'd assumed. Is this my ovaries final, doomed mission or could it really be a viable pregnancy??? I'd be very grateful for any advice or reassurance... Am feeling this can't last but really want it to....

I don't have any advice, sorry. But did want to say congratulations, and I hope it all goes well.

skybluedaze - first of all: congratulations!!! You are bound to be in shock if you had presumed that a pregnancy was out of the question and had started to move on in your lives. Anecdotally I've heard of this happening quite a lot - perhaps it's something to do with your body totally relaxing - who knows? The human body is a mystery.

What are you afraid of at this point? Losing the pregnancy? Having a child at an older age? Having a child, full stop?
There are plenty of over 40s on these threads - in fact there is a thread specifically for 40plus and pregnant - so you'll find plenty of support there. I'm sorry I'm hopeless at doing links.

All of these fears are normal on first finding out you're pregnant unexpectedly. Early pregnancy is a worrying time any way - but all you need to do at this point is be healthy and hope for the best, and hopefully try and enjoy it! Have you had your pregnancy confirmed by a GP?

Thanks MabelMay - fear is definitely of losing the pregnancy - not of being a mum as I have 2 gorgeous adopted daughters already ! Am seeing GP on Friday - I think it's just memories of ivf clinic and sense that I was hopelessly infertile and that over-40 the chances of a successful pregnancy were really low anyway...Not sure if there's anything beyond follic acid that I should be taking to boost my chances. Doctor says I shouldn't think about it too much but thinking about it constantly !

Congratulations!. I had a healthy surprise pregnancy at 45. Only problem was slightly raised blood pressure. Just take care of yourself and enjoy it

Congratulation!! Good luck and hope it goes well!

Congratulations

Yes to folic acid :)

I dthink a vitamin D supplement is recommended in pg too. Congrats

I dthink a vitamin D supplement is recommended in pg too. Congrats

Well I can totally relate to the fears of losing pregnancy. I'm 39, with two DSs already - but I had two MCs last year and am now 10 weeks pregnant.

Yes, everyone tells you to try to stop thinking and worrying about it but of course that's impossible! My doctor recommended vitamin D supplements as well - especially for the older mum. And zinc and iron, but I think those come with the standard pregnancy or pregnacare vitamins of you want to start taking those. So the only thing I'd add would be vitamin D.

I'm also taking progesterone supplements but that's merely precautionary after my two MCs and it's not even proven that this does anything to improve pregnancy viability. Basically, there's nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage - but you can take a few things to help keep the bean healthy.

I guess the most important thing of all is to look after yourself and to try and think positive as much as you can. You are pregnant today, and there is every reason to believe that the pregnancy will be a successful one. Can you get an early, private, scan to reassure yourself? I had one at 8 weeks and it really helped me to feel it was real and so reassuring to see the little heart beating away. I couldn't bear to wait until 12 weeks.

Good luck with it all!

Hi. I'm 44 and trying to kill time on here as I'm nervous about my c section tomorrow with what was a 'surprise' having given up thinking a bfp was never going to happen.

Good luck.

This was me 10yrs ago - not with the same history, but in shock, all the same! Pregnancy went v. smoothly until the end, when placenta previa (more common after several pregnancies, I believe) resulted in Ds3 being born by emergency caesarean 5 weeks early. He's now a feisty almost 10yr old!

Congratulations, and sincerely hope all goes well for you all.

Wow - thanks for the great advice and good luck to you Netguru - will be thinking of you tomorrow

Wow, what lovely news congratulations!

Aw, congratulations

Off course you'll be worried - be v kind to yourself and wishing you best of luck.
I had DS just before my 44th birthday - great pregnancy and lovely delivery too.

Yy to folic acid and Vitamin D

Congratulations! Lovely post. Fingers crossed for a smooth pregnancy for you.

Just wanted to say congratulations!

Congratulations on your little miracle !! if your worried pay for a private scan.. I did that and it really put my mind at rest

Best of luck

Congratulations! Please try not to worry too much (easier said than done, I know!), one day at a time!
I'm 42 and now 14 weeks pg with DC2 - much planned and wanted, but it is still a shock to the system.

Come and join us on the 'Pregnant 40+' thread!