Just wondered if anybody on here can help....

[Boogles91]

Please dont judge me, im currently claiming esa. Have been since october last year as my anxiety and depression started to get to me again. Im managing these just! without any tabs due to lil man cooking away in me tum tum. Ive worked since i was 13 due to having severe mental health so my dad pulled me out of school and i decided to go work with him as builder by trade and did so. As years passed i suffered still with my mental state land developed M.E due to being ill all my life through my kidneys causing alot of trouble and was unable to continue working for a couple of years in the end. i was let down terribly by my doc who thought i was just a lazy young person and didnt want to work and stuff, and refused to diagnose me. I had a breakdown and tryed to take my life(wich nearly succeded) as i felt that i was once again being judged. I got the right help in the end and made a good recovery and eventually got back into work for couple of years, but i had to leave in october due to the reasons above and the fact they were working me so hard and practically taking the piss, so i walked out one day. Now ive got another medical coming up to continue claiming esa, but im panickiing inside as last time i went there they deemed me fit for work even though i had proof i was due physciatric help and at the minute, i cant cope with anymore stress if they fail me again. Im a high risk for preeclampsia, have blocked kidney wich causes me hell of lot of pain and have that spd crap! I really cant go back to work at the mo and im worryingn what to say to them as obviously being pregnant doesnt mean you cant work etc.

i dont know how to explain these things to my doc(got a new one now and shes brilliant) without her thinking im lazy and looking for an excuse to not go to work wich is not the case at all :( as i do plan to go back to work when babys about 6-7 months if not quicker as hubby wants to be at home :) also if i signed on jobseekers now i would be made to go in everyday to sign on, prove im looking for a job and do x amount of jobsearches every day wich is added stress on top of my problems and i know its one of the things i shouldnt be making worse with the high risk of preeclampsia. Im just asking if any of you ladies could help me explain things withiut me sounding lazy, as i struggle to put my points across sometimes :/

I didn't want to read and run although I'm not sure how useful my advice may be as I've never been in your situation. I think the main thing here is that you don't believe you are well enough to work. health professionals will need proof of this. Could you keep a diary of your mental health...For example the day, time, trigger and how you felt as well as how you dealt with it? You don't say when your appointment is but this might help?

Its 22nd of this month, also its a bit stupid being so close to my due date aswell. I will do that, i normally deal with it by having big shnuggles with hubby and end up crying about how im feeling without scaring him he understands and does his best to help me. I dont like to be alone a lot of the time and hate going out on my own at mo. I was doing so well with my recovery, its hard to try and keep "sane" as they say

record all of this. hopefully it will help. good luck with the appointment!

Your doctor will understand that mental health problems are just as serious as any other medical problems. I think it's a great idea to keep a diary of how you're feeling. Note down any physical problems such as the SPD but also how you feel and what your mood is like on a daily basis. You could also write down all of the thoughts you're having about the things you're worried about, because that will give the doctor an idea about how distressed you are.

It is really hard when you go to the doctor's to remember everything you want to say so it's a good idea to have some notes. Good luck, and don't worry about people judging you. There will always be people who don't understand, but there will always be people who do. Stick with the ones who do! x