Google is a bad place, please talk me down.

[CbeebiesIsAboutToPop]

I'm so stressed and panicky I keep having panic attacks and don't know what to do. This is pregnancy number 9, I have 2 children, the rest were miscarriages. I'm already so anxious and stressed about that I really could do without this too.

at 31 weeks I had a growth scan, due to dd2's size (massive!) fluid levels were checked, as was the blood transfer and every thing was normal, everyone was happy. My FHM was taken and it was 32cm, all within the normal range so everyone happy.

At 32 weeks I had a community midwife appointment (mainly to discuss consultant appointment) FHM was taken again and was 32cm. Still within the normal range and as 2 different people had taken it midwife wasnt concerned in the slightest.

A few days ago (at 33 weeks) I was sent to hospital for suspected PE, all fine but consultant wanted my BP and urine dipped the following day so arranged a CM to come out and see me at home. All was fine but when she took my FHM it was 32cm. She took it again and again and couldnt make it any bigger than 32cm, even being generous with the tape measure.

I was sent back in to hospital and seen by a dr who said that because I only just had a growth scan there wasn't much point doing one again now as they cant analyse the results properly. I have another growth scan booked for the 11th April and it will be fine to wait till then. I also have a midwife appointment on Wednesday and he said if she was concerned by my FHM then maybe they would look at fluid around baby, but it was probably all ok as growth scan at 31 weeks was fine.

I've measured myself this morning, i'm now 34 weeks and still measuring 32cm. I've convinced myslef that there is something wrong, it crazy, I know it is, I can feel him kicking happily in there, all his CTG's have been normal but I keep having panic attacks.

I googled to try and make myself feel better but it just made it worse, just information about stillbirth. Wednesday seems so far away and 11th April even further.

I just cant stop crying today, I know its stupid but I'm already so anxious and now having panic attacks on top of it all. Its just not good.

Would it be possible to make an appointment with your GP or midwife? I once worked myself up and my lovely doctor let me listen to the heartbeat and a good chat helped me relax a little.
When you've had bad experiences in the past I feel you won't relax until that baby is safe in your arms.
Step away from google and make an appointment

Oh sweetheart. That tape measure thing is so low-tech. You could be measured three times on the same day by the same midwife and it would vary. A tiny shift in the placement of the tape can make all the difference - please, please don't base your fears on this.

3cm either way is also a normal variation, at least in my trust.

Don't beat yourself up for being worried, either - you're just tying yourself in knots. Stop Googling if it's making you feel worse. Just keep off the Interwebs (I realise that's daft while I'm replying here!).

Weds isn't far away and neither is 11 April, BUT if you are freaking out, then you don't have to wait until then if you want to call your midwife.

What you need to do is get some perspective and control back and take it from there. For today, think of a distraction - get outside, get some air, sleep, bake, watch TV - whatever you can do that will use up some time. Tell yourself that if you are still feeling as anxious this evening or tomorrow morning, then you can call someone. Just break up the next few days into manageable chunks and do a little review of how you feel - then act accordingly. It will make you feel more focussed and calm, if nothing else.

dats xx

Obviously I can't say everything will be fine but I'll give you my experience.

I'm currently 39 weeks.

At my 30 weeks appointment I measured 28 weeks, no concern. At my 34 weeks scan baby was measuring roughly 33 weeks but consultant checked everything and said it looked fine. At 36 weeks pregnant I went back to cm and I was only measuring 30 weeks. So sent for a scan.

I've been scanned every week now from 36. Baby is still only measuring 36 weeks but is putting on weight. So they are happy although keeping a good eye on me.

Babies at the later stage all grow differently, also those measurements are very inaccurate as different people measure differently, also the way baby is lying can have a big effect on the measurement.

Has babies movements been normal? It won't be long until your next scan, but if midwife is concerned she will refer you for one sooner.

This is my second pregnancy, and it all happened in my first and he was absolutely fine. He even weighed a lot more than what they thought.

Try not to worry too much.

Its so crazy because I know all of this! I also know my body is capible of hiding a baby! my 10lb 9oz dd2 measured bang on through out. It was a real shock when she was born, so I really shouldnt be getting so worked up about it all

I'm off to jump in the shower and hopefully that will help me calm down. If not I mght just give my community midwife team a call, although I hate being such a nuisance when they have other pregnant women with real problems and new borns to deal with

sorry forgot to say thank you.

Sorry you're going through a worrying time.

Hope this might reassure you about the ultimate outcome. In my first pregnancy I had terrible antenatal care - was never measured or weighed, despite me telling the CM I was worried as bump was small and I wasn't putting on much weight. Anyway, finally saw a different CM who sent me for a scan at 39 weeks - baby was small and I was induced at term and had a teeny tiny baby. I have no idea when she slowed down in terms of growth, but she's now at school, lovely, and perfectly normal.

It's terribly worrying when faced with a baby with a growth problem, but just wanted to share that in my experience it's all turned out fine. Oh, and remember FHM and growth scans can be hugely out.

Hope you get some reassurance soon.

It sounds like you have been through a lot, but please try not to worry. I had several growth scans when I was pregnant with DD. My bump seemed to just stop growing at around 6 months. It never got any bigger than 30cm, and I was convinced something had to be wrong. She was absolutely fine, she was just a small baby, and my fluid levels were on the low side, but within normal ranges. They will keep a close eye on your baby's growth, but it sounds like you are just good at hiding them.