I am 23 weeks pregnant

[Howonearthwillwecope]

I found out today. I have had normal periods, though they have been much lighter and we had no idea.
I'm terrified. I don't know how we will manage emotionally, and financilly it will be impossible.
My DS is 11 months, and I was hoping to start work when he turns 1 but this obviously won't happen now. My DH earns just enough to cover our mortgage and bills, and we have been struggling financially for a while.
What are the implications with me having had no ante-natal care or taken the usual precautions so far?
I'm so scared.

With DD1 (second child) I didn't go to the doctors to tell them until I was about 24 weeks. Too tired and couldn't be arsed. She's a gorgeous almost 12yo. Very healthy. Go.. see the GP and reassure yourself.

As to the finance... well as I've said elsewhere today, you cut costs where you can and cope where you can't.

It will be fine I'm sure.

Congratulations!
There is a 15 month gap between my ds and dd - she was a surprise (shock!), but you do cope!.
Take care of yourself

no antenatal care should not to be horrendous as up until 24/28wks it is not that full on anyway apart from the two scans. I would assume your gp has booked you in for a scan and to see mw asap to check everything is ok. I know it seems scarey but you will cope..plus tax credits and child benefit should help to cover the costs for the baby. Think of it positively that your dc will probably be very close etc. I have a 2.10yr old, 8mth old and am 18wks pg. I am petrified about how we will cope due to finances etc but at the same time I know how much my other two love each other so am sure the third will do to. Kids are a blessing sometimes come when we plan and sometimes decide to pop in as a nice surprise.

Thankyou. I'm still shaking, it has come as such a shock, and 17 weeks isn't long to prepare.
Thank goodness we haven't gotten rid of any of the clothes or equipment. Hopefully this will be another boy, or a girl who looks good in blue!

There are so many implications though, we are on the first floor and I can manage getting one baby up and down stairs but how will I do it with two?

I have a doctors appointment on Monday. The sonographer said I will need to book in for a more detailed scan too.
I'm a size 10 too, why am I not showing.

Oh. My. God.

Is there a huge price difference for a nanny with two children compared to one?

çongratulations HOEWWC, even if it doesn't feeli like it now.

i've just had my 2nd and my dd is 18months, was also a bit of a shock and i didn't find out til i was 11 weeks so missed out on the most crucial time fortaking folic acid (spina bifida in my family so this was a pretty major screw up). he's absolutely fine, a big healthy lad!

we're also not in a good financial position as dp lost his job when dd was 5 months old but so far ds isn't costing us anything, we had all the equipment from dd still and i bf so no formula to pay for. obviously that won't last forever but hopefully over the next few months we'll get sorted money wise.

you WILL cope, things will work themselves out and you'll have 2 beautiful little babies to light up your life

as for the not showing, i'm a size 10 too and i wasn't noticably pregnant with dd til 7 months and was still able to hide ds's preg from my parents at 20 weeks and they were both good sized healthy babies so don't start worrying in that respect!

congratulations! Just wanted to say, don't worry about the lack of antenatal care. My (sort of ) SIL had no idea she was pg until she was over 5 months gone - she had been boozing it up big time, and was a heavy smoker. My nephew is a bouncing, alert, healthy big boy. With me, I didn't realise I was pg until I was at least 9 weeks gone - ds was conceived just before an all-inclusive holiday in the Dominican Republic which involved a lot of cocktails, cigarettes and boogie-boarding in crazy high waves! And he's perfect.

Also, remember your child benefits/tax credits etc will go up so that should help. And it will be lovely to have children so close in age, even if it is very hard work at first. You'll cope!

Good luck!

Congratulations! This has happened to a secretary of mine. Another friend was about 13 or 14 weeks along before she knew. Sounds like you are due in December. Come join us on the dec antenatal club thread.

Thanks again for your messages of support.
I wonder how long it will take to sink in.
I will be due in Dec, so will join you under my real name once I've told all my family and my friends on here.

Wow! Congratulations - at least you've missed out on all the morning sickness/cravings/hormonal loopiness part .

We didn't find that having two children cost us any more than having one - if anything slightly less, as we had all the kit we needed and were getting more Child Benefit. But that of course doesn't take into account nappies. Do you use washables with no1? If not, would you consider changing over now? The same set of birth-to-potty ones would do for both children, and you can get them 2nd hand.

We do use Totsbots and I have them all from birth upwards still, so thats a blessing. Plus I hope to breastfeed again, and obviously veg purees cost very little!
I keep taking deep breaths and convincing myself it will be okay.
How on earth did I get this far without realising.

What made you suspect?

I started to get flutters, then a few very definite kicks. I thought I was going mad!
It's odd as I had a terrible pregnancy last time, with debilitating morning sickness, backaches, nosebleeds, but none of that this time. The news is starting to sink in. DH is delighted and very reassuring. I remember last time thinking 40 weeks is too long to be pregnant for, but now understand you actually need all that time to prepare. It's scary to think our lives will be changed forever in just 17 weeks.

Wow - congratulations! I know it seems scary but it will be fine. What a lovely surprise!

Wow! This is something that you hear about but always wonder how people don't notice but obviously until the kicks you had nothing to even hint you were pg. Our bodies surely are crazy things. I hope you have got your head round things a bit more this morning. I can't imagine the shock you must be feeling. I got pg first time with my second child and I was so shocked (everyone said it would take a while) I remember it took a few weeks to get used to it - and I was TRYING to get pg! Anyway big hugs to you and congratulations!

Wow congrats you'll be fine, as Nemo said the tax credits and child benifit will help out lots, one of the mags carried a story similar to yours the other month, that ladys baby was 'standing up' so she didn't show at all, she found out when she went into labour!

Thankyou for the congratulations. I know, it's the sort of think you read in take a break and think 'naah, that's impossible'.LOL
DH is going to request overtime, and like others have said babies aren't actually very expensive.
Plus I won't mind if we have to live on pasta and cheap stew when our family becomes a happy 4some! I can't believe DS is going to be a big brother.

I am a little concerned though as I have been on two big nights out recently. Luckily having DS I don't drink or go out much at all, so it's not too bad. A few glasses of wine can't have done any harm surely?

I am certain that a few glasses of wine won't have harmed your bean. Remember, the advice on diet and lifestyle indicates that certain things can affect some babies to varying degrees, not that if you do/eat those things the baby will definitely be harmed. As long as you haven't had food poisoning, any infectious diseases or used recreational drugs the bean is likely to be fine. If you've taken any prescription or over-the-counter drugs in the last 6m you ought to discuss it with your GP/midwife, just to reassure yourself.

I confess that I am very curious to know who you 'are' . I'm really glad that you are starting to come to terms with the pregnancy, ready to be happy and welcome the new child.

Congrats!
To make you feel better about not noticing, a girl from my antenatal class with DD1 had her second a year later and did the old 'calling the ambulance with appendicitis' routine!! She had an 8lb-er too!
She told me that by the time the ambulance arrived she had just realised that she was in labour and was very embarassed indeed!