Hi all
I've been starting a lot if threads lately but the advice I've got has been great so excuse my prolific posting.
I'm 25 weeks with baby number 1. Always been anxious ever since I can remember but had it under control by taking 40mg of fluoxetine.
Doctor told me to stop taking at my booking in appt back in November but an fast feeling like a basket case. I've been really ill with various things throughout the pregnancy and unable to work which I know isn't helping.
I'm currently consumed with feelings of absolute doom. I worry a lot about my younger sister- who has asbergers and is in her early 20s- and that is consuming a lot of my thoughts . She's having a minor op in a couple of weeks and I'm consumed with intrusive thoughts that she will become really ill or die. I also worry about her or my parents or husband "disappearing" - wandering off and never coming home for some reason. All this news stuff about the disappearing plane is adding to this weird "disappearing" worry which I know is odd.
Husband is away for work this weekend and has been since Thursday and I'm feeling nuts. Being pregnant and ill I don't want to go out with my friends so I've hung out at my parents. They're being lovely and keeping me company but I come home and I'm crawling out of my skin with anxiety and sadness and this unending feeling of doom- like something terrible is iust around the corner.
Last night I resorted to taking half a amitriptyline (I was prescribed these for anxiety pre pregnancy) just to relax and get my heart rate down. My heart feels permanently like it's beating too quickly and I'm on the verge of hyperventilating.
I don't know what to do with myself really. I haven't told DH because I don't want to worry him and consequently not told anyone at all. I miss him so much it feels like a physical ache- which is pathetic, he's back on Tuesday and pre pregnancy I had no issues being on my own for a weekend (sometimes I even relished it!!! 
).
I don't want to tell my doctor and be labelled a basket case during pregnancy. What I want is to take a pill and sleep for the next three months until I have the baby. If I can't have that the next best thing would be fluoxetine I guess- it's always helped me in the past but I know I can't have it.
I feel very lost and cast adrift and so permanently anxious that it's having an effect on my physical well being. I'm permanently jelly like and my stomachs churning.
If anyone has any tips or advice I'd appreciate it. Sorry for the epic post.