Feeling crap, feeling scared, nesting....just ugh (miserable rant)

[Loopylouu]

Right so 36+2 and I am feeling bloody awful...

My section is booked for the 26th, but as ds arrived at 37 weeks, I am not holding out any hope of getting there.

I have had period like cramps and stabbing pains in the cervix for the past two days and I feel crap in general. I honestly feel like I am about to have the worlds worst period (have had to take lactose everyday for three weeks too which could be the cause).

I am bone tired as I am not sleeping well as my bump is so uncomfortable what ever position I get in, it's so tight and the baby has well and truly run out of room, I don't think I can stretch anymore, even though the little bugger darling is trying her best to make more room with her knees and elbows all the bloody time. My ribs ache and I am miserable. When I do fall asleep I wake up in pain, my bump almost feels bruised.

I've lost my appetite but I still have horrific heartburn despite pills from the consultant.

This morning I had my 11 year old throwing a wobbly and being a arsehole to me about bloody yogurt of all things while the baby was pushing and squirming for all she was worth and I honestly thought, why am I doing all this again?

Today I had the bright idea of sorting out the house for the baby, but I have just made an even bigger mess to tackle and I keep crying when I look at it and I have exhausted myself.

I am also crapping my pants about actually having the baby. With ds section, they messed up the epidural and having it put in was the worst pain I have ever had in my life. Plus it didn't work properly, I felt the scalpel when they started. So I am petrified that will happen again.

Sorry I sound so negative, I just want this over but I am scared too.

Oh no bless you.

I'm sure you'll cope just fine with the new baby and when your hormones go back to normal. Try not to worry too much. Everything seems ten times harder when you're fed up.

As for the labour it might be worth a little chat with yiur midwife to explain your concerns since you had a traumatic time last time. They might be able to help you write a birth plan that will put your mind at rest?

Thank you.

I have he lovliest consultant ever. She's booked me in for my section with her and has assured me she'll be looking after me well. I'm still scared though, plus, I really think I will go into labour early and have another rush job section like I did with ds, which means I'd get some consultant I've never met before doing it.

Even though ds was an arse this morning, he did give me a massive hug on his way out and said sorry, so I'm taking him for ice cream after school. I think ice cream is the way to go for me today. Taking ds as I don't want to look like a massive fat pig sat at the ice cream parlour on my own!

I'm just not very good at being pregnant and I am totally fed up of it now.

P.s my birth plan is just ' please listen to me this time if I say I'm in pain at any point, don't fob me off'.

Nah that's bull you're a fab mum i'm sure who deserves an ice cream and some pampering!!