Convincing reasons of why you are not drinking alcohol in 1st trimester - HELP!

[neeps1207]

Morning everyone.

I found out last week that we are expected DC2, after 18 months of trying. It still doesn't feel quite real after trying for so long but I am currently 5weeks, so still very early days.

My DH and I are due to attend a big birthday lunch tomorrow for two very good friends, which will include other DHs and involve lots of food and alcohol. This was arranged 4 weeks ago, obviously before I got my BFP. I'm obviously concerned about what to say, as it will be noticed that I am not drinking alcohol. I'm not comfortable with letting people know I'm pregnant just now as its so early, and especially not in front of such a large group, as they will be about 20 of us in total.

Can anyone share what convincing reasons they gave for not drinking during the 1st trimester. Please help! Thank you

Always just pretend to drink it's the most convincing and doesn't draw attention or questions

Btw I got through 3 parties with a family that love drink. I pretended on coke and Morgans which was just coke. Told them had a long day I was hitting the hard stuff. After everyone was too drunk too notice. Also got my partner to drink more then he got too drunk and took the look off me

The best approach is to very obviously order a glass of wine and take an obvious sip/cheers/clink glasses, etc. One tiny sip - which you will make look much bigger by keeping your lips together- won't cause a problem.

Then wander about with the same wineglass all evening, tipping it surreptitiously into pot plants/other glasses and letting people refill it. When you've done that for a bit, ask your DH loudly to get you a vodka and whatever, and let him get you a virgin drink instead. It's really easy.

People get totally bent out of shape about letting a drip of alcohol pass their lips. A couple of teeny tiny sips and obvious waving about of a wineglass will make no difference to your baby whatsoever, and will give you the privacy you need. Worked for me, worked for my sister (and she even fooled me!)

That you're on antibiotics ?

Or here's another trick that worked for me.

Bring a large handbag that can hold and hide a can or cans of 0% alcohol beer.

Order a bottle of beer with a glass. Pour the real beer into the glass.

Find an excuse to go to the loo (or outside) with your glass and handbag. Pour real beer out of glass and replace with fake beer. Return to party. Repeat as required. Very obviously drink lots of beer.

I was so convincing with this that when I eventually told people I was pregnant I had a lot of explaining to do- got a bit of "you were boozing while preggers" judginess until I explained my tactics!

Becks Blue Evie - perfect for that kind of thing.

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Oops!

If you're sat round a table and everyone hears your drink orders then take it in turns with you oh to order alcohol and swap?

Yep, 'we' got through a bottle of red on my birthday at a family meal where I had about 3 sips and left the rest to get swapped around with my fast drinking lush of a boyfriend.

Just don't say anything. In such a big group, honestly, no one will notice you're not drinking if you don't make a fuss.

I too can't lie for toffee and I'm usually a big drinker. But I've done Christmas parties pregnant without anyone noticing. Once the booze is flowing, it's easy just to hang on to one drink all night. Honestly!

I agree that the best strategy is to fake drink. No-one believes anything else! During my IVF I had a work drinks and I just had a glass of wine that I would bring to my lips but not actually take anything in. It's easy enough to do.

No-one questioned it at all. Then after a while I quietly put it down somewhere and at the next round said I wanted something soft. Since they had just seen me recently with a glass of wine it all looked legit.

I was out to a fancy lunch with girlfriends once, and I kept thinking my wine was lasting ages. Then I caught my friend was swapping it for hers when I got near the bottom!! It was a close friend (clearly) and when I realised she gave me a wink. It was how I found out she was pregnant! I barely noticed, so definitely no-one else will.

Who's going to ask you loudly, across the table 'oi, why aren't you drinking?' I really can't imagine anyone would. We're talking about grown up peoIt would very rude and quite confrontational as people know that many of the reasons someone might abstain completely from alcohol are personal. So I wouldn't say anything, drink what you want and I'm sure no one will ask unless they're a good friend and its in a more private conext.

...and whatever exude you use, if you do end up goin with the whole fabricati

fabrication thing, people will of course be thinking 'hmmm she's probably pregnant'. There's no escaping it!

Start putting on Facebook now some sort of fake ailment and keep it going. Then you can say your on antibiotics.

My skin broke out disgustingly when I was about 6 weeks gone so it was believable that I was on antibiotics when I went to a hen do but didn't drink. Unfortunately.

Thanks ladies for all your great suggestions!

We have a lovely relaxed lunch yesterday and it wasn't as difficult as I expected. When everyone was ordering drinks I just discretely asked for soda and lemon and then kept asking for the same. Everyone else was drinking Proseccos so it was very difficult for me not to just grab a glass and glug it down. Only my really good friend who was sitting one away from me asked if I was not drinking, and I said no and explained that I had actually been feeling poorly the past few days (not a lie!) and I don't think alcohol would help. She asked 'news?" and I laughed and said no. Although there were 12 people round the stable, everyone else was talking amongst themselves so I think I managed it quite well by then changing the topic very quickly.

The only part that was really awkward that was when 8 of us went to a bar within the hotel after lunch and everyone ordered some bottles of lovely red wine. They were very quick at setting the glasses and pouring and then obviously it came to toast time, and I was the only one still sitting without a drink (waiting patiently for my soda and lemon!) I did feel like a mug, but no one forced me into just having a wee drink for the toasts, so I think they may have their suspicions, and I just raised a little glass of water.

A lovely afternoon with some great friends, and I can't wait to tell them our good news in a few weeks (fingers crossed), although I think they probably already know.

Thanks again.

Yeah, of course they all know after that! But I bet they're delighted for you!
Congratulations!

I told a couple of my closer friends that I was pregnant as soon as as I found out. I had a m/c in Nov at 6 wks and obviously it was hard to tell them about the m/c but I would have anyway. When I fell pregnant again (quickly) I told the same girls again. It does make your life easier if just a couple of people know cos they can go to the bar for you and buy 'pretend' drinks. As it happens most people guessed I was eventually but we got away with it for a while!!

I was bridesmaid at 7 week's. For the first half of the day I wandered around with a glass of champagne pretending to drink. Wasn't so easy at the meal, I just said I was taking it easy. Then I got paranoid later and told everyone. They hadn't noticed a thing!