I know im probably being selfish because i already have 2 wonderful children and my youngest is still only 4 months old but i really want another baby in the near future but cant have one.
Ive always wanted a large family but when i got pregnant the first time i had a mc got pregnant shortly afterwards and had an awful pregnancy ended up in renal failure with a massive post partum haemmorage too. Ended up on a critical care unit. My baby was fine though.
Tried to get pregnant again had a late miscarriage due to cervival injury due to first delivery.
Got pregnant again after this got hyperemesis again, and had cervical stitch at 13 weeks. I had to go on bed rest until 28 weeks pregnant. Work were awful about it and i couldnt hold or play with my dc properly for 4months.
Had dc2 by c section due to problems with first delivery and had another maddive bleed which was actually more serious than the first. Ended up in theatre revovery for 24hours having 1 to 1 care.
I was.disgnosed shortly afterwards with von willebrands disease.
My dh and i discussed that we shouldnt have another baby due to how seriously ill i was in theatre, the fact i have von willebrands, natural delivery isnt an option for me due to birth injuries and i will need another cervical stitch which will mean work being angry again and me trying to juggle bed rest with dc.
I know when i write this i know it makes sense not to have another and that im risking my dc not having a mum if i have another bad bleed but im desperate for another baby. I think i just need someone to slap me and tell me im being an idiot so feel free