Feeling a bit down after midwife app

[SweetPea86]

Went to see midwife today, I'm 32 weeks so was to discuss my birth plan. There was two midwives one was a student and a midwife watching over her, I didn't mind the young lady was really lovely and helpful. But I felt akward. I'm so scared about child birth and when she mentioned pain relief and was talking me through it, the main midwife expressed how women shouldn't being using drugs to help with the pain, which now I'm freaking out as I thought they would give you pain relief to help.

I don't want an epidural and she said I couldn't any way because I was low dependency, but she kept making a point as women too many of us expect all the drugs to get us through birth. I felt as though she was pushing her views on me. I've come away from the midwife feeling even more scared of labour. I thought they were to suppose to listen and help you.

I just feel like shit now and confused and scared :(

We're not living in the dark ages anymore. There is pain relief available and if a woman wants/needs it, they should have it, without feeling like they are letting themselves or anyone else down. It annoys me too when people seem to compare how they coped, it's not a competition and you have to do whatever is right for you. Every birth is different. Nobody knows how they would've coped in someone else's situation.

As another first timer I am also scared/apprehensive about giving birth and i think that's normal, even if it's not your first time. It's not an easy experience and it's so full of unknowns. I've read a book by Maggie Howell that has some lovely positive birth stories that calmed me a little. As the other posters said, try to focus on the positives if you can. And yes complain about that opinionated midwife!

although I don't understand why you would have an epidural in mind without knowing your limits, she doesn't sound very professional

I had an epidural. I wouldn't have a tooth out, appendectomy or any other painful procedure without anaesthetic so I sure as heck wasn't squeezing a baby out of my lady parts au natural!

Stupid woman, you should complain that she is pushing her opinion rather than giving advice.

You take whatever pain relief you feel you need at the time, be that a paracetamol or a full waist down numbing

Good luck with it all