14 weeks tomorrow and haven't contacted midwife yet. Will anything bad happen?

[stillpregnant]

My first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage at 8/9 weeks. Just over a month after that I got a new BFP. Being a pessimist, I decided I didn't want to think too much about being pregnant until I had passed the 12 week mark, so no online discussions, no looking at baby clothes and no midwife appointments. At 12 weeks I was on holiday and have just returned a few days ago. Now it really is time to make that phone call, but I'm nervous. Will they have a go at me for potentially messing up their planning? Will I be "flagged" as having potential MH issues? Will anything else bad happen?

/a bit paranoid, but perfectly sane and happy

I would think it will be absolutely fine.

You will probably have missed the window for nuchal screening at 12 week scan but could have the quad test if you want the screening.

Congratulations!

Nothing bad will happen, some people don't realise they are pregnant until later than that! They'll probably want to get you in for a scan asap though.

Hi congratulations on your pregnancy.

I have just done this and to be honest there was a bit of huffing - they sent me for a booking in and a box popped up on the computer demanding to know why the booking in was so late!

But the main thing from their POV was missing the nuchal window. I was always going to decline this anyway so not a problem for me. If the testing is still important to you there are other tests you could have instead of the nuchal which will do that for you such as Harmony.

I always say to them 'due to my history it is important for me to safeguard my mental health in this pregnancy and do what is safe for me' which turns booking in late from looking like a denial/running away option into a proactive decision I have made as being best for my mental health.

Being a bit paranoid after a MC is sanity, as far as I am concerned. Good luck with your pregnancy

You'll probably be classed as a late booker and it'll flag up as a risk factor! But if you keep putting it off you're only making things worse. Go and get booked in! You've probably already missed opportunity for nuchal but at least make sure you're in time for 20 week scan.

Have you booked a nuchal scan? You may need to do it privately now but I think the window closes at 13+6 so if it was something you wanted then get on and do it now.
Your hospital may offer it as part of the 12wk dating scan but you'd need to be referred by the MW and if you haven't booked in yet it's likely to take you over the 'window'.

At my surgery I need to book a MW appointment about 3wks before I need it as they get booked up so quickly so get on and do it soon as they may not be able to fit you in for a few wks.

Oh and nobody us going to question your mh. Some women dong even realise they're pregnany until 12wks!

Congratulations!

You're not classed as a late booker until 20 weeks and even then for 99.9% of people its a formality. Late bookers have to be referred to social services but Ss don't do anything unless there's other concerns.

When you ring to make the appt do tell them that you think you're 14 weeks so they can hopefully get you in for a scan ASAP.

i had this with ds1, in denial that i was preg and then away etc so i was about 12wks when i saw a gp who referred me to midwife etc. my gp was lovely and phonef up and got me a scan date but when i went to the scan i still hadnt seen a midwife and so hadnt been booked in etc and didnt have the preg notes folder etc. the receptionist and a midwife at the hospital were really snotty with them but another midwife interupted snotty midwife saying it didnt matter. was all fine.

i think if you are too late for nuchal scan they can do a blood test at 16wks? they offered me that, i declined but am sure midwife will talk you through all the options :)

You could also have the Harmony test if your budget will stretch to it. I was lucky enough to have it thus time around. Amazing technology far in advance of anything else at the moment. Hopefully available on the NHS within a few years as so many women will benefit. Unless you're local hospital is Kings in London in which case it is available on the NHS as they're trialling it I believe.

Thanks for your replies so far!

I wasn't going to do the nuchal screening anyway, so that's not a problem.

Any source on you only being classified as a late booker after 20 weeks so I can stop worrying about SS?

I realise they will at least ask why I'm so late booking in, but do you think my reason for doing so (wanting to be mentally ready for another MC) is a valid and reasonable one? Surely I can't be the first.

Here, you can either self-refer by phoning maternity services or do it through your GP. Would it be wiser to see the GP I saw after the MC than to just phone maternity services? On the one hand, seeing the GP is a waste of time and getting an appointment will take a couple of days, but on the other hand he knows about my MC and should be more understanding.

My source is that I'm a midwife.

That's what we do in our area anyway and while I appreciate it may vary from one area to another I can't believe it will be that different. Like others have said quie a few women won't know until 14 weeks or later that they're pregnant.

Tell the midwife whatever you feel comfortable telling them. Either say you've just found out or tell them the real reason. I'd hope any midwife would have empathy and understanding for the latter, I'd have thought so.

And I'd just phone maternity services and self refer.

I should trust you then.

I was thinking of pretending I have just found out. I probably could get away with it as it is normal for AF to be late after a MC, but then I would have to lie about other things as well, e.g. about what symptoms I have had, and it would just be easier to be honest in the long run.

I haven't been drinking, smoking or eating anything I shouldn't eat and I have been taking pregnancy vitamins, so no reason to worry there. I just made the conscious decision to wait before contacting them. So you think most midwives would be fine with that?

They must see plenty of people who find out late or just don't tell them straight away. I was fairly late (10 wks maybe) to see the doctor and so everything else was a little late. They didn't really mind.

I think most midwives would be 100% fine with it. We are meant to be caring and understanding and I'd hope that any midwife will understand your reasons. I honestly think that a midwife wouldn't bat an eyelid at this. Believe me some of the stuff we see......this is nothing.

I'm also a midwife and I definitely wouldn't bat an eyelid. We don't refer late bookers to SS in our area and even if we did you wouldn't fit the criteria. Try not to worry, enjoy your pregnancy

I was about 14 weeks when I contacted MW when pregnant with dd. I was just in denial as I knew from being a couple of days late. I missed the Nuchal screen but everything else went as routine. MW was very understanding and not at all pushy or judgemental, the majority of people I knew only found out after I had given birth that I had been pregnant tbh but dd has been treasured from the start as all my apprehension disappeared once she was born.

I wouldn't worry. My mw said she gets plenty of ladies who come in after feeling the baby move, so around 16wks - due to cultural reasons!