alone and afraid

[clairedavey]

Hi I am in my 1st timemester I am 7 weeks pregnant and in a relationship with my bf of 6 years nearly now. I am going through a rough time with feeling nausea and odd vomiting day. My partner works 12 hours a day and goes gym for 2-3 hours after work every night. We only get one day a week together and with my heartburn and nausea I dont feel too affectionate. I told him how I feel everyday but all I get is him telling me I not giving him enough attention and it is all about me and the baby in my life now. I do cuddle him send him endless messages throughout the day and work 8 hours a day 2-5 days a week. I love him to pieces but I just feel alone and afraid of having to be a single mum again as last time I was I had 2 boys and I ended up with so bad depression after being abused by my ex I had put my children in care. So you can imagine I am afraid of it all again. I feel no matter how much I explain I am hormonal and ill but it wont last forever he just wants his needs met and I am failing him.

Hi Claire, you may want to ask mn to move this to the relationship section for you and you might get more support :) fwiw I think this is about your partner being unsupportive rather than your pregnancy. You and the baby do come first but he sounds jealous which seems wrong. Do you you have anyone in rl to give you support?

Hello claire, it sounds like you spend a lot of time on your own these days. You need to really think about your future with your baby and your DP. Is he normally supportive and loving to you and considerate of things you want to do? Did you plan this baby together, does your dp have children already and know what is involved? I am abit worr oh ed ghat he we ill be completely overwhelmed when the babe arrives and you gave to give it 97% of your time. And not always be there for him when he wants you. Will he be able and willing to help you out? I am surs you are already thinking these things through already as you have come here to ask for help and advice. If i was you, I'd be c thinking back to how it was when you had your own two little boys and how you could see him fitting in with a new baby. Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life about this? You are doing well to be thinking about your future life now and trying to imagine how it might be. Good luck . And stay strong and remember to look after yourself and think about what you need right now.

I agree with the pp, that you need relationship support.

It is worrying that instead of him attending to your needs, you are trying to fulfil his. For him to be jealous this early in the pregnancy, does not bode well.

Please get help and advice as soon as possible, to avoid a repeat of your past experience. You may well be better off a lone parent and well supported by professionals, rather than with another jealous (abusive) partner.

If your partner is more concerned with his needs and going to the gym every night for 3 hours after working 12 hours, with you feeling unwell now, then he is not likely to be much support for any postnatal depression.

Please get help for yourself as soon as possible.