Final trimester - how do you know if you are just hormonal or actually depressed

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

....and what do you do?

I'm 30 weeks and this is DC3. It wasn't planned and I don't think I've totally and utterly made peace with it, which is an issue in itself and one I hope might fix itself when the baby arrives.

But this time I am finding myself overwhelmed by 'not coping' emotion far earlier than previously. I find comparatively little things like a wiring problem in one of our lights (bulbs blow within 24 hours), or DD1 getting overly hysterical about a cut knee, set me off into feeling on the edge of tears. I'm snapping at the DC and I don't like myself for it.

I am not used to feeling like this. I'm normally a pretty 'up' person and have been pretty emotionally well through previous pregnancies until the normal 39+ week grumps. I feel a bit lost and not sure what to do. And I'm not seeing my MW for another month.

Anyone else found this and how do you know whether it something that needs medical help or 'just hormones'? Any coping strategies?

have a chat to your mw, she may be able to advise further x

Go to your GP, and ask to speak to a counsellor. I felt so down throughout my Pregnancy despite it being planned I just couldn't deal with all the changes that were happening to me, I was terrified I wasn't going to love or even like my baby and was sure I was going to have PND.

However talking did me the world of good and I now have a lovely baby boy who is everything to me. It does get better.

But please speak to your GP!

Speak to your midwife, I plan to do the same next week when I see midwife. I feel the same were I'm not sure I'm depressed or just hormonal. I planned baby but it's my first pregnancy and I've found it extremely hard. I've got HG and SPD and fell poop all the time, so I think that's part of my problem. Now 32 weeks all I worry about is labour.

I think once we have baby's things will feel better. But speak to your midwife because it could get worse and you can then deal with it in the right way xx

I think lots of what you mention sounds very normal given the situation you are in + hormones. If it 'just' feels a bit shitty, I'd wait it out (entirely horses for courses though), but if you are feeling real feelings of hopelessness or despair, I'd probably get in there and get it sorted.

I'd speak to your midwife if you feel they are supportive, but another option if you can afford it is to go privately through a counsellor. You can find a decent one through the BACP website (rather than some random who fancies their skills at it), or a psychologist through the BPS website (www.bps.org.uk). Some folks prefer to go privately for the choice and the privacy, (and it needn't be too costly if you just want to go for one or two chats to see whether they feel you need longer term help - which you could then access free through the GP if you want).

Hope this helps,

xx

Thanks everyone. No, I wouldn't say it was hopelessness or despair. Just utter inability to ride out the normal knocks and bumps of everyday life without going to bits. It's like I can't keep anything in proportion.

I went to bed last night at 8.30, and do feel a lot better today so I think a lot of it is mounting exhaustion.

I'm not sure that at this stage I want to speak to my GP or my midwife. My midwife is nice enough, but always rushed and, TBH, I'm not a big 'sharer' on this type of thing. I would tend to bumble in, mutter about how I'm finding it 'a bit tough but I'm ok' and wander out again. Especially because I'm not sure what she can do other than sympathise in a 15 min slot. If I want to take it further I think a counsellor or someone would be a better fit for me, so thank you very much for those references Natter. The thought of being like this for another 12 weeks or so (I've a good chance of being overdue) is a bit daunting!

Hi Penguins sorry to hear you are feeling like this.

I too was feeling like this in my last trimester (Christmas just gone). I have a toddler and was still working three long days a week, and found I felt I couldn't cope. Kept thinking "what will it be like when baby is actually here?" and feeling like a rubbish Mum and Wife in general.

I found talking to my lovely Midwife really helpful, as she re-assured me this was normal, and that it was probably down to exhaustion. She did say that if my "bad days" start to outweigh my "good days" then definitely make an appointment to see my GP.

Luckily I managed to get some rest when I finished work, and started to feel better. Are you able to lean on family/friends for a few days so you can really catch up on some R&R? I find sleep makes a massive difference to my mental well being.

Hope you feel better soon x