NCT - worth it?

[Plateofcrumbs]

I'd always assumed I'd do an NCT course despite the fact I find something about the whole idea sets my teeth on edge. Then I found out the price - £327 for the course in my area!

Is it actually worth it?

I know everyone says it's worth it for the friends you make but I'm finding something faintly horrific about the idea of being forced to make friends with people just because they happen to be up the duff at the same time as you. And paying over £300 for the privilege.

Do I just need to get over myself and suck it up?

Yes I just filled in an enquiry form and just got back a standardised response saying I'd been signed up, X number of days to pay deposit etc! There's not exactly a whole lot of information provided about the content of the course etc either. For someone who was a bit 'hmm' to start with they've not really sold me.

Don't worry about not meeting other new Mums, there are loads of other ways to meet people aside from NCT.

I had DS in London and met people through the Surestart centre, postnatal group run by the health centre, new mums' group, the local cafe etc. There are just so many things to do in London with a baby!

Mine were a total waste of money and the woman running it gave incorrect, spurious advice which, on checking with a paediatrician and a midwife, turned out to be fairly inaccurate at best and actually very disconcerting at worst.
I am still in two minds whether to make an official complaint.

That said, I did make friends who are in the area and expecting at the same time and that will probably be invaluable when the baby comes, as a support network.

I decided not to bother - having twins and there doesn't seem to be anything specifically about multiples in the courses - although the main reason is that I really don't fancy the small talk/coffee trips etc with loads of people I don't know (realise that makes me sound majorly antisocial but just not my thing). Plus £300+ is v expensive.

I did nct classes 3 years ago, and they cost £150 which was a lot for us, but I needed to know more as was anxious about birth due to SPD (and the NHS 'class' was a 90 min q & a). The friends side of things didn't really occur to me - I was there to learn (and was probably an awful swot!). I remember coming away from the first session and both saying it was worth the money already as our tutor was an excellent teacher and we really felt like we learned lots. All the sessions were equally good, but best of all were the friends I made - I was even in the same hospital ward with 1 lady! We still meet fortnightly 3 years on, and they are so lovely and supportive - I think it helps being there from before day 1 and having so many shared experiences. I have friends from baby groups after birth but they didn't see me at my worst with pnd and tongue tie and sleep deprivation so we don't quite have the same bond. I'm really surprised that at least some elements of the course aren't standard information, and that there aren't the same teaching resources - our teacher was great at personalising our course but there must be large chunks of information that are universal to all groups - maybe there should be more best practice sharing?

I lost my job in November and felt that I couldnt justify the NCT course fees. However, I still didn't qualify for their reduced prices and am therefore priced out of it. All they offered me was an option to stagger the cost but overall it still cost the same. So I have totally disagree with KathrynK.

We did an NCT course in late November/early December last year and it was £150. I'd done a lot of research re pregnancy and birth before I attended and didn't really learn anything that I hadn't read online. We were the youngest there by 10 years and found we didn't have much in common with the other couples. It was pretty expensive for what we got out of it, but i suppose it's worth it if you feel like you need to learn more about pregnancy/labour etc and would like to make friends with others at the same stage as you.

I'm not really in touch with the others from the class now. I found everyone kept trying to get one over each other with how their babies are developing and it started to do my head in!

In the era of Google etc I am much more in favour of women putting their money in hypnobirthing, active birth, yogabirthing etc classes than regular NCT. This despite knowing many excellent NCT teachers. Labour isn't about knowing facts, it's about instinctively knowing how to breath and relax because you have practised it so many times prior, not sat in a circle writing a list of pros and cons of natural vs medical pain relief.

Oh also they are very biased and really put me off a lot of pain relief options, and were extremely negative about being induced. It happens that I was induced and the info given at the NCT class put the fear of god in to me and I was terrified about it all! Also they course leader was really against formula feeding and I felt so guilty for not being able to bf after struggling for 4 weeks. Turns out I went against everything they preached about and I was induced, had an epidural and I'm now bottle feeding my dd!

I have really mixed feelings about NCT courses.

I don't think I learnt anything from the course. All the information is out there in the media (and on Mumsnet!) these days so if you are obsessive proactive and google pregnancy and baby stuff lots then you will already know what they cover in the course. However I think my DH found it a bit more informative than me because he wasn't obsessively reading up on everything like I was! I found it reassuring knowing that he had been told some of the information because I don't think we'd have discussed it ourselves. And it did point out the importance of your partner knowing your birth plan and reminding healthcare professionals of it during labour, which I was grateful for when it came to it.

However, I think the slant of the NCT is very natural birth biased and it tends to set you up with the expectation of having this wonderfully empowering natural birth. All well and good, but it means that when things don't work out like that, you feel very disappointed/shocked/let down. As it turned out I did have a wonderfully empowering natural birth, but then had a massive emergency straight after it, which was really scary. In the days that followed, part of the emotions I felt were just complete and total shock that no one had warned me that that might even be a possibility and if it was what would have happened. I know it's no good scaring expectant mums, but I would have felt a hell of a lot more prepared and l feel I would have coped better afterwards if NCT had covered the complications that might happen during or after birth and what goes on when that happened (ie. Room full of doctors, alarms going off, a lot of frantic talk, husband left holding newborn baby for 4 hours whilst I was in surgery, being too shocked and ill to feed the baby etc etc). The course does cover things like c section, forceps delivery etc, but the way it is delivered it's very much "these are things that you don't want to happen and these are the steps you can take to avoid them". I think it should be more along the lines of "you don't want these things to happen and you can do these things to try to avoid them, but actually they do happen quite frequently in a lot of births and sometimes nothing you do will make any difference, it's not unusual and don't be afraid if it happens to you - this is what will take place...." Out of our group of 8, only one woman had the textbook NCT birth, everyone else had some kind of intervention or complication, so you could say that our group was not well prepared for what we experienced.

Having said that, the friends I made through doing the course were AMAZING. 6 of us stayed in contact and still see each other regularly now, nearly 2 years on. Having other people in the same situation as you in those first hard few months was invaluable. It's amazing what a bonding experience it is sharing the trials and tribulations of new motherhood! I personally would have paid £300 just for that (and that's coming from someone who prior to the course thought I didn't need any more friends!). Maybe you can get the same friendships from joining pregnancy yoga or hypnobirthing, I don't know. But I do know I have a much closer circle of "mummy friends" than other people I know who didn't do NCT.

Sorry that was long! But basically a mixed bag for me! If you can afford it, pay the money in the hope of giving you a support network, but don't expect the course itself to really prepare you for childbirth.

Yep, total waste of money. £300 to maybe make friends?!? Just go to the meet ups and groups they organise in your area post birth and meet probably the same people there.

There's no guarantee you'll like it or get on with your group, or that once you've all had your babies you'll meet much. Sure, some people do but not all. In my area the NHS antenatal group are still close friends, 5 years on. My NCT group dissolved when DD was 6 months old. The course was good but IMHO no added value to the NHS one.

We went to classes four years ago and while I did meet some lovely friends, the teacher wasn't great and sort of rose tinted everything. Discussing it with my friends a few months on we agreed it would have been more useful if they had included a talk about the realities of caring for a newborn etc, rather than only focus on the birth. Hardly any of us in the group had anything approaching a 'natural' birth in the end anyway so we all felt a bit disillusioned by it. What she should have told us is that birth is pretty much a game of luck and regardless of how much you practice breathing you could still very easily end up with a cs or forceps delivery.
(She also said that breastfeeding didn't hurt- it just felt wonderful to be nourishing your baby. She lied.)

I did nct with dd1 15 years ago and really felt it was worth it. I was the youngest by 16 years and did feel a little awkward socially (although I did make friends and stayed in contact for about 6/7 years).
My personality is that I need to research, consider every angle and feel I have fully prepared and I got that from the class. Obviously they can't cover everything but I felt empowered by the amount of additional information I gained. This was in the days before the Internet but I still feel I gained more from the experience than I would just reading.
Most important was DH learning. He has a tendency to assume I will find out everything that's necessary so he doesn't need to get involved, just do what I tell him. The nct classes made sure he had the information himself when I was too busy to explain it to him.
I'm currently expecting dc3 and, with such a big gap, debating whether do do a refresher or the whole course as was def worth it for us.

Lavender that's why I opted for Lazy Daisy which is a kind of hybrid of Hypnobirthing, yoga, etc. They are also very non-judgemental and discuss all types of birth choices.

We went to one nhs class, it was awful & we didn't go back. I found so much information online & had a drug free waterbirth, felt in control & knowledgeable.

I did find the birth preparation hypno cd very useful though, very relaxing & helped me sleep!

DH asked me why we were doing the course as I seemed to know most of it already. I said we were buying me friends! Like many in London, we only moved into where we lived relatively recently and so tended only to see it at the weekend and didn't know many people. I wanted to at least know a couple of people on maternity leave. I also met people through pregnancy yoga and a pregnancy fitness class.

Was it worth it? Well, I did learn a bit, and the breastfeeding session was definitely useful - I didn't know that the nipple doesn't actually touch anything in the baby's mouth until that session which was a really useful piece of information as I tried to sort out the latch in the early days.

What really made it useful was the fab fab bunch of friends I made. All seven of us still see each other for a weekly meet up with the toddlers (and my number two!) and go out once a month just us. Not everyone is there every week, but we all make an effort. We all work part-time so it works. I can't list the list of things that we've been through in the last two years for fear of outing myself but sufficed to say, we've been massively supportive of each other in some tough and some wonderful times.

It was the best money I ever spent.

Interestingly, we're also good friends with the overlap group who started a few weeks before us as we got to know some of them through pregnancy yoga etc. we joined up for some courses and events when on maternity leave which was good. I have one friend who did a course about six weeks after me where the group didn't gel which was unfortunate.

Just ignore them when they start bollocking on about the 'cascade of intervention.'

I have a love/hate relationship with NCT as I've had a lot of contact with them - I like the work they've done in terms of maternity and childbirth rights for women but there are some individuals there who I do not care for, and I think some of the teachers can be a bit much - especially the one I met who was actively encouraging her clients not to vaccinate their kids.

So I chose to save the £300 and opt for hospital antenatal classes, which were actually pretty good apart from the class on interventions and inductions where the midwife showed us forceps and put the fear of god into us! Also, dare I say it, I've met a lot of NCT-goers in the past and most of them were of the "what private school have Hugo and Horatia been put down for?" types.

I also did a couple of natal hypnotherapy workshops, which were really good, and I listen to the CD each night. I'll reserve final judgement until after the birth but I do know that when I was sent off for some monitoring because of high blood pressure and elevated fetal heartbeat, the relaxation track on the CD brought it right down.

I had a natural delivery, and never did NCT course. I also breastfed, and never did any course, or have any lactation consultant.

I couldn't afford either. I bought the book Food of Love for bf, and got lucky with the birth.

Friends tell me NCT was worth every penny, and loved it. I have one very posh friend, who lives two hours away, and is very involved with NCT.

My biggest issue with NCT is that they are still very much a charity for the white middle classes. And when they try to appeal to "more diverse" audiences they tend to do things like the graffiti wall they had at their conference a few years ago, where people could come and scribble various things. Um yes, because that's exactly what poor people like - graffiti...

Yes, Cariad agree completely with that.

Second that Cariad. The NCT teachers that I have really liked use exercises to help people really 'click' with the topics (such as why relaxation matters). Some others can be very stuck in their ways - 'go to your garden to relax, while your husband massages your shoulders and talk about your honeymoon' - many mums I have in London have never been on a honeymoon and have no husband, and most certainly don't have a garden!

I didn't do NCT. I think it's important to know some people with babies of a fairly similar age though, or you can get quite isolated. I had a few mates having babies that year, and my sil, so I was less worried about this.

I did the one day NHS class which I found completely redundant but DP found helpful. It was free so I didn't resent sitting there in the heat heavily pregnant!

Since having DD, I have generally found the paid baby groups a bit too much like hard work. I'm not sure if competitive is the right word, but lots of comparing and I just found it a bit exhausting. There's lots of free stuff out there though, toddler groups and library stuff and public parks and my soft play centre was free for under 1s so we went there loads. Met more "normal" mums there, even though they weren't paid classes, you'd meet the same people lots and so various friendships formed. I liked meeting the older kids too which you don't get at the paid groups and getting some heads up on the toddler years! And if it was crap and baby was having a meltdown, you could just leave!

I formed a very close group with some girls I chatted to on mumsnet who were pregnant at the same time. We talk in a facebook group now and I've even met lots of them though most aren't local. Mumsnet is great.

OP I'm not sure you would get a lot out of NCT if something about it "sets your teeth on edge"! It's not mandatory. If you're worried about missing information or meeting people, why not do the free NHS classes?

I knew most of what we covered.
But I made a friend who is now, nearly 5 years on, one of by best friends.
Was 150 pounds for us and worth every penny!

For me, nct was worth it. The nhs class in my area didn't happen so the nct was the only antenatal class I could do.

It was factually based, and not all focused on natural births. We spent a long time going through the facts, discussing pain relief options. We role played an emcs which was great as I knew what to expect when I got wheeled into theatre. We also ran through how we would feel of things didn't go to plan, which helped me a lot.

The breastfeeding class was a crock of shit though. My dd had no clue what to do, there's been none of this instinctive routing they talked about. I've had to use nipple shields, latch assist and I have to physically place dd onto my nipple. The midwife taught me more in hospital than the whole day course did.

My NHS class largely concentrated on natural birth and how to manage contractions etc, for what it's worth. The midwife who ran it got us doing lots of labour role play, how to be active, all that stuff. Talked us through normal labour. There wasn't much in the way of talk on interventions or sections, though, as a 6 hour session, perhaps there wasn't enough time.

The proportion of women doing NCT who say all of their group had complicated births seems higher than the national average. Do you think it's because it's generally older mums? I don't really know if it's better to put the fear of god into people about what might go wrong, or whether to focus on the positives and try to empower women to approach birth without fear. Fear and panic can cause problems in labour so I can understand the rationale behind staying positive, but obviously lots of things can happen which all the breathing and positive thinking in the world aren't going to help. I wasn't scared when I went into labour, I was a bit shell shocked afterwards - I had a normal birth with no interventions, quite lengthy.