Funeral wear... help

[MoominIsGoingToBeAMumWaitWHAT]

It's my OH's uncle's funeral tomorrow and we're travelling back for it, there's various issues with the family but without going into too much detail, OH's sister is cold towards me atm because she's struggling TTC, so I really don't want to do/wear the wrong thing.

I've got a knitted dark-green jumper dress, some very dark maternity jeans that could pass for trousers (I have no maternity skirts, dark dresses or trousers) and a dark green formal-looking coat, as well as brown woollen boots. I don't have any black clothes that fit me (28 weeks pregnant), the green coat is only just about fastening over my bump, and I'm worried what I've chosen is completely inappropriate.

I won't be sat in the church; I've been invited in but I've been having headaches, visual disturbances and dizziness and waiting on a neurology referral at the moment so I'll be outside - there may be a fair few people outside as he was a popular guy - and then joining them for the burial and the wake. Would what I've chosen to wear be alright? I'm really at a loss for what to do; I was going to go out and buy something new today but I've got to spend most of today being checked over at the hospital so that isn't really a possibility either.

I know that most people will be engrossed in the funeral and won't care what I'm wearing, but OH warned me that there are some family members, both immediate and distant, who will use it as an excuse to judge anything, and will probably pass comment on the fact that I'm not sat with the rest of the family (through my own choice), let alone what I'm wearing.

I think dark green is passable, maybe try and match your dp? Might make you feel a bit more comfortable, green tie for him?

My DP is a pallbearer so it's already been chosen what he'll be wearing.

Wear what you have. if people comment it is your DH's job to stand up for you.

I think it will be fine, esp with a black coat on? You could also buy some dark black thick opaque maternity tights rather than the jeans? Do you have any other pregnant friends / friends who recently had a baby you could borrow a black dress off of? I had a fairly cheap black maternity dress from marks and spencers which I wore loads. Imagine ASOS do too?

Ps. M&S now do next day delivery to many of their stores, if you had time to order in? Also at 28wks, you might still fit into a size larger normal clothes - do you have a slightly bigger friend you could borrow a dress off of?

Or if you do want to change what you wear, do you have any normal leggings in black that you could wear under the bump?

If it is bothering you (and it sounds as though it is?) go to Sainsburys or similar and buy a black, stretchy, jersey dress and some black leggings / tights in a size up.

They will still fit and will be open late after your hospital appointment.

I'll ask to borrow a black coat off my mum rather than the green one, thanks :)

As I said not sure I can get out and do any shopping, I've got to be at the hospital by half 10 and not sure what time they'll let me out. We've got to leave at about 3pm today because the funeral is back home, where there are no shops at all. I'm not fitting into anything atm that doesn't have either stretchy waistband or about four sizes bigger, and I'm the first out of any of my friends to be pregnant.

I may see, if I have time, if I can get some black maternity leggins. They'd probably be more comfortable than work-style trousers and look better with the dress.

Do you have any normal leggings? Honestly, worth trying as there is a good chance that they would still be wearable under-bump with a dress.

Big Boots now sell maternity tights (or just buy an XL pair of normal tights)?. Could also do stockings (one of my friends much preferred stockings during pregnancy). Also I second a stretchy jersey dress - I wore one a size bigger till about 34 weeks in my second pregnancy, was fine. Good luck. Honestly with a black coat, black tights/leggings etc, black shoes, you'll be fine.

Ps. Lots of stores do not carry their maternity range in stock, so check before you have a wasted visit. I had a completely fruitless day on oxfords street once until I ended up in mamas and papas (and then discovered order a load online then send back the stuff that didn't work - never tried maternity shopping on the high street again!). Mothercare and mamas and papas do usually carry in stock - mothercare much cheaper. Good luck!

Borrowing a black coat sounds like a good idea. You'll have your coat over the dress most of the time. Black maternity tights/leggings could go under the green dress and a black scarf would tie it all together. If you've got an M&S close by, they do maternity tights...

imo people are a lot more forgiving towards pregnancy and clothes. If they aren't then they simply are not worth worrying about. I could recommend matalan to you as most have some maternity and are open later, but it would only involve you spendig money on something you wear once.

To be honest, im getting fed up of being in mismatched clothes but I can't afford a new wardrobe and thats that.

Especially if your not well at the moment, focus on that. If anyone says anything (which I doubt they will) just explain that it is really hard to find maternity wear at the moment and as you haven't been well then its been especially hard.

Its not like a wedding were people take photos..

As long as it's a subdued shade if green, I think it'll be fine. It's not a traditional mourning colour, but no-one's expected to get funeral blacks during PG.

But, if you want to make tour appearance more sombre, and if you have time to do any shopping, I'd try to get a big black pashmina.

Yy to normal leggings if you're struggling - I bought some two sizes too big from new look and while a little loose around the knee (!) they fit over my bump or I can fold the band down underneath. And you can use them again after.

If anyone comments/ looks remind yourself you're there to honour your uncle, not put on a fashion show. Good on you for showing up when you're unwell x

Going slightly against the grain here but I think you need to find something black. There will definitely be some shops you could get to, pretty much all supermarkets will have something appropriate.

I went to a funeral where my DH was a pallbearer when I was 26 weeks and wore a black stretchy dress from primark (which I already had but the shops are full of that sort of thing) black tights, black shoes and black coat. Have you got any black shoes? I think you can probably do better than a green jumper dress, jeans and knitted uggs even pregnant and at short notice to be honest. I think a funeral is one of those times when you should just do it.

greentshirt I'm at hospital all afternoon, need to leave straight away as soon as we're done as it's a long drive back and where the funeral is, the nearest supermarket with clothes is an hour's drive away.

Sounds unlikely, but if you want tights/leggings and can manage to get to an Asda, I am 28 weeks and comfortably fit into their (non-maternity) 'all over bodyshaper leggings' which are £3.50. Basically footless black opaques with no waistband, a soft top which goes over my bump but controlly bits for thighs. In the tights section.

Otherwise, you're there to pay your respects and support your OH, I think that's far more important than what you're wearing. The last few funerals I've been to have been far less formal than I've been expecting, so I genuinely wouldn't worry. As you say, people are going to be heads-down in their own thoughts, too. So I would think it's fine to wear what you suggest if you can't change it. Stuff what others think, you're clearly a thoughtful & considerate type and you do deserve some slack 'in your condition'!

dats, 28+6

Thanks everyone. Going to ask OH if we can rush to ASDA right after they let me out and grab some black tights, they'll go with some black shoes I've got and look more respectful. I'm on a student budget and trying to save money so I could do without buying something I'll never wear again, but tights/leggins I probably will wear again.

Thanks everyone :) I'm really not looking forwards to it as I've not been well and worried about baby, got a scan this afternoon to check all's ok, but it's important to OH that I go especially with him being a pallbearer. Making sure what I'm wearing is ok is a weight off my mind :)