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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fatty old me :-(

28 replies

emzickle · 02/08/2006 14:50

at around 20 weeks I was so over the moon with my nice round bump, everyone telling me that I was huge didn't bother me... but I'm now 30 weeks and I'm feeling really crap and like a huge let down to everyone, mainly my partner.

I was 9stone 6 at my booking in, (approx 12 weeks) and now I weigh just under 13 stone, i feel disgusting, please help me... what can I go to make myself happier?

I am so concerned that my partner just looks at me and thinks "yuck"... he says things, apparently not meaning to be nasty, but - it still really hurts, the things he says make me cry, and i have to lock myself in the bath room so he doesnt think Im being over emotional all the time, (whith btw is what I heard him tell MIL on the phone last week)

Grreat....

please help, is it safe to try and lose weight now, or what should I do?

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Iklboo · 02/08/2006 14:52

This is SO normal! I reckon every woman thinks their partner thinks "THAR SHE BLOWS".
DH took a pic of me when I was 35 weeks. I am huge & fat & (I think) disgusting. He will not let me delete it because he thinks it's one of the most beautiful pics of me he has.
Don't try to lose weight now. YOu'll drop loads once you give birth. It's mostly baby, fluid, placenta etc.
If he thinks you're being overemotional now - he's in for a f*cking big shock when you've had baby!

Original poster
emzickle · 02/08/2006 14:55

but is that wieght gain acceptable?

My BMI was classed as ideal before - but now says I am overwight, obviously its not taking into considoration the person in my tummy, but do you think I've put on too much already?

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julezboo · 02/08/2006 14:56

Got no advice honey but wanted you to know I feel the exact same and Im only 11 weeks, i also lock myself in the bathroom to cry so he doesnt think Im being a baby!

DogMum · 02/08/2006 15:13

emzickle, please don't try and lose weight now. You and the baby need your nourishment. It's a time to look after yourself and celebrate your beautiful round belly. I'm 29 wks and my bmi was ideal before and am now overweight. My midwife seems happy with my weight gain, so I guess it's more than normal - it's a good thing.

Talk to your partner about how he makes you feel. He should be making you feel like a goddess - but may need some reminding. Perhaps get him the 'Blokes guide to pregnancy' or something similar, so he knows what's going on and why he needs to be supportive. He's lucky you're only bursting into tears. My DP gets an earful if he steps out of line.

damewashalot · 02/08/2006 15:22

Don't worry, one of the first rules of pregnancy should be don't go near the scales

With my 1st I stopped checking at 13 and a bit stone having started at 9 and a half ish so you sound fairly normal to me
I think I read the lighter you are to start with the more you are likely to put on, but it will go.

Pg women are supposed to be big you're not fat you are growing a baby.

shhhh · 02/08/2006 16:31

I also know how you feel. With dd I put on around 2.4 stones which was a lot for my frame. I still had around a stone to loose when I fell pregnant with baby2. I'm not 14 weeks and I to feel huge....

DH is brilliant and tells me to not stress about it and that he will do his best to help me once baby arrives.What makes me slightly happier is the fact that baby will be a winter baby so chance to hide in baggy clothes, dd was a spring baby so I had baby weight, heat and hormones..not a good combo..!!!

BTW I have a wedding to attend in 4 weeks time and have just walked my legs off looing for an outfit... I really can't be ar**d going now as I just feel like a weeble and lol I will only be around 18 weeks..!!! another 22 left ..!!!

Like others have said, remember you ARE making and baby !! Thats a good thing..!! .

shhhh · 02/08/2006 16:35

meant to say "I'm now 14 weeks"..

fullmoonfiend · 02/08/2006 16:40

Don't try and 'lose' weight now, and please don't get down about it. I put on 4 and a half stone with my 2nd (I told everyone the father was Mr Kipling!) And, ok, it was 6 years ago, but I am 8 stone now.
No-one ever told me at ante-natal checkups that my weight gain was 'unacceptable'. He was a fairly hefty baby (9lbs, 8oz) but really, I just couldn't stop eating
I ended up with a walking stick for support by week 38 as my hips were not coping with the weight .(I'm quite skinny naturally and that 41/2 stone extra was just a fondant fancy too far for my frame!)

Now is not the time to worry about it. If it would make you feel better to be in more control, try to avoid 'crap' food when you're hungry, and fill up on good stuff. In my case, it was 'put the donut down and have a bowl of porridge instead.''

bubblez · 02/08/2006 16:43

emzickle I put on at least 4stone with my dd and went up to a good 13/14stone. Although I'm not skinny now like I was pre baby I haven't actually tried to loose the weight and believe that if I did I would have lost it by now. I aslo still have a healthy bmi.

What I'm trying to say to you is that you shouldn't worry. When you have baby you will loose a lot of the weight and if you actually try after giving birth to loose it and get back down to size then you will. Don't stress.

Congrats by the way.

bubblez · 02/08/2006 16:44

Oh and btw my dd was only 5lb15ounces so there really wasn't an excuse for the extra weight I put on.

shhhh · 02/08/2006 16:46

LOL at Mr Kipling for the father..!! ..!!

Glad your mw was nice about it. At my scan & booking in apmt my mw noted my weight and I told her I was concerned, she replied "Yes, slightly over weight, so you will need to watch it. The extra weight will do you no good and will put extra stain on your body". Tell me something I don't know..!! Was this really something to tell a hormonal me at 13 weeks pregnant..!!! Like I can do anything about it now..!!!

gigglinggoblin · 02/08/2006 16:47

i think you need to stop locking yourself in the bathroom and tell him how upsetting you find his comments. it doesnt make any difference if you are upset because of hormones, the fact is you are upset and that is not on! if he doesnt agree find something that is less than perfect about him and remind him about it, see if he thinks it is funny when its the other way round. you are perfectly entitled to be over emotional, it just means he has to be more careful what he says!

redz · 02/08/2006 17:20

I know exactly how you feel. Im 33weeks now and I feel HUGE! and it can be really upsetting at times. I've just come back from baby shopping and after seeing all these slim glam looking girls I just feel depressed. Not to mention the new stretch marks I found last night under my belly button! I wont even go there!
My partner says I look beautiful but with my Fat face, I think not! I find pampering myself helps alot. I go for manicures and pedicures every 2 weeks and buy lost of bags and acessories. My friends are great when I say im fat they just say your not fat your Pregnant! Big difference.
I was 12stone when fell pregnant now im 15stone!! But hey its for a good cause. Hang in there not long to go and just think when babys born you'll be a sexy mama!

SophieB · 02/08/2006 17:27

Im feeling exactly the same! im 33 weeks and feel like a whale, but then i think 'oh so what, im pregnant like i care what anyone thinks!' its all worth it in the end tho! My friend has just had her baby, and she misses her bump! so it may get u down now but u may end up missing your bump after!

bubblez · 02/08/2006 17:29

OMG shhh at your mw. How rude and out of line.

Elibean · 02/08/2006 17:29

Oh sweetie, I put on over 3 stone with my first pregnancy (and I'm only 5'4) and like you, felt 'all bump' at 20 weeks and 'all whale' by 34. BUT a lot of it was fluid, and from what I've heard thats the case for a lot of us women who put on more than the average (hate averages) when pregnant.
Anyway, I would talk to my partner...he probably isn't aware of how you're feeling, and needs a chance to make you feel gorgeous. Because you definitely are. xxx

corblimeymadam · 02/08/2006 17:39

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hollyhobbie · 02/08/2006 19:07

Don't forget that all that weight is there to support you and the baby through breastfeeding. Please don't stress about losing it now.

One of the best things I did when heavily PG was go to some thermal baths- the warm water was lovely, I could bob about and feel weightless and all the stress was taken off my joints. Bliss!

ELM · 02/08/2006 19:50

emzickle - you are gorgeous
Talk to your partner, and let him know how his remarks are upsetting you (personally I think MIL should have done this too!)

Bibliophile · 02/08/2006 19:55

You can't help it. Even Liz Hurley got big when pregnant. Get a pedicure, get your hair done, do something you love doing (swimming, visit a gallery, read a great book, buy some expensive bath oil/shoes/see a movie) and tell your partner that you feel very sensitive about your size right now and the cracks about it hurt you (or try pointing out a few home truths about his appearance).
You are not fat, you have a whole separate, brand new human being growing inside you. And that's really beautiful.

bensmum3 · 02/08/2006 21:06

Whatever happens, I think we worry and stress over it,I'm 30 weeks and worry about not gaining weight, a couple of people don't even realise I'm pregnant, its all those hormones running around, everyone is different and as long as you feel ok, I'm sure you will loose it after the baby is born, slowly is better for both of you though,get your partner to walk around with a cushion under his t shirt for a few days, I'm sure he will have more sympathy then. Someone on the Oct thread said We are all beautiful when pregnant whatever size we are.

100Vicki · 03/08/2006 13:39

There's always these stick thin women walking around with their tiny baby bumps but I wonder just how much these people eat.

I ate sensibly when pg with my ds and I put on more than 3 and a half stone! I didn't mind too much when I was pg but after he was born I was a wreck, I felt huge and hideous. It was difficult for me to let anyone take a photo of me - it was a horrible time. I didn't diet or do any exercise after the birth but the weight just gradually dropped off. When I look back at the few photographs I have of me after the birth, I wasn't that big at all.

I feel sorry for you as I know how you must be feeling but you've just got to think that you're doing the most important job in the world by looking after your baby. So what if you put on a bit more weight than you'd expected? I think you'll be surprised once you've had your baby how soon the weight will drop off. Good luck with the baby and take care of yourself !

Loulou000 · 04/08/2006 11:18

Belgianbun, I loved your "tending to my ladygarden"!!!

corblimeymadam · 04/08/2006 12:55

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Original poster
emzickle · 04/08/2006 14:40

G'aftnoon.
Partner and I went round to PIL house last night to see his sister - she greeted me with an "Alrite fat bird!" and a slap on the bum, to which I promptly told her to fu*k off, and I got back in my car and left other half there. When he came home three hours later, I was a gibbering wreck and he was furious - A, at his sister being a fool, and b, my responce being TOTALLY unfair and apparently I really upset my MIL. what a shame I said... now he's grumpy with me

o dear

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