Horrible midwifes!!

[Laurahawk]

Well where do I start......

I came into hospital on Thursday in slow labour and SPD pains but since then the labour pains have stopped but im in complete and utter agony with my SPD I keep going dizzy and light headed to the point where I collapsed and blacked out on the ward yesterday only to come round to 4 midwifes and a doctor surrounding me.

I'm in utter pain n just want this all to be over the midwives don't seem to care as they just keep saying its normal deal with it ...... Half of these midwives haven't even got children .

I'm just wondering if anyone out there has been induced due to the SPD n blackouts ?

Please help!!

I'm sorry that you feel the midwives don't care, but why does the fact that they may not all have children have anything to do with it? Would you expect your neurosurgeon to have had brain surgery?

They have no sympathy how can they know what us SPD sufferers are going through when they have never experienced it themselves .

Surely when u have a patient in pain your supposed to help and support them not make there stay in hospital uncomfortable and as if they want to go home.

N for the record I don't have a neurosurgeon !!

Unfortunately pregnancy comes with many many different illnesses/side effects. I never had SPD but had other problems. I guess that they can't induce labour for every pain associated with late stage pregnancy as induction is seen as a last resort. Hope your baby decides to make an appearance soon. How far along are you? Will they do a sweep? I was offered them from 38weeks to get things going

Laura I hear what you're saying. One of my close friends is a midwife, and I asked her that once she had her own kids, did her perception on how to sympathise and deal with a woman in pain change. Yep, sure enough it did. As with anything, if you haven't experienced it you can't sympathise.

Is there a senior member of staff a relative or your dp could speak to on your behalf?

I'm 37 + 3 days pregnant when I came in on Thursday in slow labour I was 3 centimeters cervix was soft but still far back so they gave me a membrane sweep , but since then everything has died down n I'm stuck there now still getting tightenings that are reaching between 50-60 on the toco every ten minutes but nothing seems to be moving apparently this could be because I'm dehydrated so I'm now being put on a drip.

My partner is coming in later so think he's going to have a chat with them as were waiting to see my consultant

Oh you poor thing, that sounds miserable! Being in that much pain will make you feel vulnerable too, so every comment is taken to heart, you need some TLC! I sympathise as am 39 weeks now, horrendous painful SPD and started with sciatica too last week so I'm in agony and really miserable. Thankfully I am at home still though. If I was you, when your partner comes in, see if you can go home for a bit as you'll feel much more comfortable and cared for in your own environment. It might even help to start labour off as you'll be more relaxed. Also, do you have a TENS machine (or can you borrow one from the hospital?) I am using one and it seems to take the edge off, plus it's supposed to release endorphins, which can only be a good thing! Keep us updated how you are getting on, and sending you hugs.

Thanks Hun , my partner has asked if I can come home and him look after me , but cause I keep blacking out they won't let me home .

I'm literally bed bound n when I do try n get up n about I go dizzy light headed and my legs just give way .

I've just had enough now I can honestly say this is the worst pregnancy I've ever had. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy !!

For the record it's midwives.

Even if a midwife can't 'sympathise' with you - a good one will have what is known as empathy.

Some of the best midwives I know haven't had children.

You aren't the first person they've seen with spd - I'm sorry your not having a good time of it but I think your comments are very harsh. You don't know which midwives have children and which don't. And not every pregnant lady suffers from spd anyway so even if they had been pregnant why does it make them more able to 'sympathise'

If u have nothing nice to say please don't comment , I'm asking for help not for u to come on here and start bullying

I don't see how what snapple or myself have said is bullying. If you come on here asking for help you cannot expect people not to pick up on things you say which we may not agree with? Otherwise no one would see different points of view to their own

laura, im sorry you are in pain. please dont think you are being ignored. pre term inductions can be bloody awful and more often than not result in a section.

my personal experience of pre term induction was an instrumental delivery resulting in being cut and having 3rd degree tears following a long and harrowing labour. i have perinneal damage as a result.

im not saying you arent suffering, but the spd will go when the baby is born; complications that can result from inductions and c sections can last your whole life. that is why they are waiting as long as possible.

can you ask for better pain relief?

Its a bit harsh to throw the 'bullying' word around when you did attack midwives! They do a fantastic job! I had 4 midwives during my labour and one was a man. Of all of them the male MW was the most attentive to my needs so if a man can understand and do the job then I'm pretty well sure a childless woman can!

I'm sorry to hear you're in pain Laura. Unfortunately though, SPD is extremely common in pregnancy and is considered to be normal. I'm suffering from it myself. There is very little the midwives can do, regardless of whether or not they've been through it themselves, so the posters who have picked up on this comment were right. And it's not bullying. You're stroppy because you're in pain. It's understandable but please don't blame the midwives for the pain.

Sorry to hear you're in pain but I agree with the others - do you expect your GP to have experienced every illness anyone goes to them with? Or, if you had to have surgery, would you expect your surgeon to have been forced to have that surgery too, to know how it feels?

The best midwife when my mum had my brother was a young male midwife with no children.

As with anything, if you haven't experienced it you can't sympathise

Um...no. You can't empathise but you can sympathise.

I'm a children's nurse, do you expect us all to have had children in order to do a decent job? I admit my perceptions changed after I had a baby but I was able to be sympathetic regardless.

I haven't had spd, not everyone who is pregnant does so no not everyone will know what you're going through, midwife or otherwise. Doesn't mean the mw shouldn't be sympathetic, of course they should.

Are you complaining about their lack of care, or the lack of sympathy?

Op I suffered from spd and can totally relate to your pain! You have my sympathies (pregnant again and already have spd).

Try to avoid induction because you can't move around when you're induced, you have to be monitored so moving about isn't possible (it wasn't for my sons birth). This makes it hard to manage the spd pain.

Try to avoid stirrups, as they pull your pelvis open even more. I really don't want to scare you but during my sons delivery I was put in stirrups and I couldn't push because my pelvis was effectively dislocated (I had very bad spd). I ended up with forceps and a ten month recovery (still not recovered now and pregnant again).

Please make everyone aware of your spd during labour and do not be afraid as I was, to say NO to certain things.

Spd is a condition which is deemed relatively "new" in terms of diagnosis and treatment and so isn't fully understood and in my own experience, it wasn't taken seriously.

I really hope you have a good, safe delivery and that your spd clears up soon after birth. Please feel free to pm me if I can be of any help or comfort.

During my last pregnancy I had a condition called Polyhydramnios, which is basically a lot of extra fluid around baby. A midwife picked it up early in my pregnancy but after a second opinion I was told I did not have it and I was still low risk and no need to be given an early induction. Well it turns out the first midwife was right and it wasn't until I was 41 weeks and there were not enough staff to be induced, I just about got a bed on the ward and was told if my waters broke there was a danger the cord would prolapse and I'd be rushed into surgery. Anyway I was literally massive and measuring off the growth chart. I had elderly people tell me in there whole life they have never seen a bump even when twins that was as big as mine & honestly I was in agony. I could barely walk without feeling like my pelvis was going to fall out, I couldn't get at all comfortable to sleep and I stayed on that ward until I was 16 days over my due date. The midwives were kind but I was feeling upset and frustrated and I had other women with no real complications going mad at waiting to be induced but we all just had to wait until we had a bed and in my case a doctor free. I cried a lot and felt sorry for myself a lot but you must try and stay calm, and understand they see lots of women with lots of conditions and you will be prioritised in order with the seriousness of your condition. They are probably not meaning to seem unsympathetic but they can't induce you because you are uncomfortable. It's best for you to have the best relationship possible with the people who are caring for you. If they think you or the baby are at risk they will intervene. Sorry you are suffering I understand how you feel, but try to stay calm and positive. Do the things that make you feel best and don't break the communication barriers. People aren't trying to have a go at you (I hope although I've read a few threads with lots of argumentative idiots) they are just listening to what you are saying and trying to reason with you that while SPD is unpleasant if they don't see a risk to baby or you they are just doing their job and waiting until its safest for you to give birth. Good luck anyway. X

It is horrid. I had probs in later pregnancy. In my experience, many midwives are far too busy to empathise or sympathise as much as one would hope for! (Such a vulnerable time is it not!?)

They are rushed off their feet and not all handle that well. That has been MY experience. I am sure there are loads of fabulousy, empathetic and caring midwives too. I think they need more midwives on duty ... But as per- lack of funds.

I am a midwife. I have an 11 month old daughter and have been back at work on the labour ward for 2 months now and I can honestly say that having been through pregnancy and labour my practice has not changed at all. I had sympathy and empathy before and I still do now. Before I had my daughter I had suffered many pregnancy losses and 6 years if struggling with fertility issues, it used to really offend me when people said a midwife without children weren't good, should those that can't have children work in an infertility clinic???
Also, it's not the midwives decision to induce you, it the doctors. And the midwives cannot prescribe pain relief, that's also the doctors. The midwives just get all the blame.
I really hope the doctors decide to induce you soon, but in the meantime perhaps lay off midwives, we aren't all bad

Hi Laura did you gave SPD before your labour? I've never heard of anyone fainting from it, so just check its not something more serious.
People who haven't experienced chronic and severe SPD do not know how bad it can get and how depressing it is to live with day in, day out. The good news is your nearly there and sound like you'll go into established labour yourself with a bit of luck.
Re the midwives, I hope you get sone more sympathetic ones soon! Mine were brilliant last time, but friends have reported very different treatment...