2nd time Labour fears - what happens toddler?

[HelenHen]

So it's got to that stage where I've started to panic plan my Labour. All going to plan, neighbour will come straight in and babysit while husband takes me to hospital. What if the worst comes to the worst, husbands at work, nobody's available and I have to call an ambulance? What happens my 21 month old? Does he come in the ambulance with me or does an emergency worker stay in house with him til friend/family take over? If he comes to the hospital, who looks after him?

Sorry if these are silly questions but I can't sleep thinking about it lol.

How far away does your husband work? If you do go into labour when he is not there, you can ring the delivery unit for advice. They can advise you when you need to come in, it may be that you have time for your husband to come home from work depending how far away it is. An ambulance should only be called if delivery is imminent or if there are any complications. Your child would have to go to the hospital with you as they do not have anyone to stay at home with them unless you get your neighbour in.

He works all over the country so, in theory, he could be 4 hours away! Don't worry, I'm not planning on calling an ambulance but I will absolutely not be afraid to do so if I feel like I have to! I'll deal with the lectures afterwards!

They closed the local maternity ward a few years back and the nearest is about 40 mins away. So, if I have one person who's available, it could take them 15/20 mins to get to me, then I get ds ready and try and figure out the carseat, it would be at least an hour by the time I get there!

I'm just trying to mentally prepare for any scenario... Which I know is impossible . Was kept awake with visions of having to wait for a childminder while I bleed to death or my son being handed to social services lol. I'm pretty sure neither of those would happen but thought it best to see if anyone knows what actually happens in these cases!

re. ambulances:

I have ridiculously rapid labours and have never needed an ambulance
Not sure about this individual circumstance, but I have heard of people being sent a bill for the ambulance if it was deemed a taxi-style call out. Better to call an actual taxi.

re. labour:

have a ring list of people that can come in a hurry in mind. I had 4. we used one and called my mum/his mum to come down (4h trip and 10h trip away) to take over from the emergency carer. If you need to, you'll just have to take the toddler in with you. They won't let them into labour ward though. I do know of a family in similar circs to you where the dad came to labour ward reception to pick up child and deliver him to CM then came back for delivery of DC2. We also had a bag of goodies stashed at home as recommended on a precipitant labour thread on here in case I had to self deliver at home. If you're really worried, have you considered a home delivery?

re. busy husbands:

my husband managed to convince his work not to send him away overseas from 37/40 which I thought was v kind. They also tried to limit his trips a bit (but not much) in the earlier bit of the third trimester. Might be worth a shot.

I'm worried about this too. Although thankfully the hospital is much closer to us (10 minute walk). Still, I most certainly won't be walking there with 2yo DD in tow mid-contractions.

MIL is meant to be coming round but she's an hour and a half away (maybe more with traffic). Good idea to set up a list of 4 people to call until MIL arrives. I also just don't want to deal with a whiny child while I'm in pain.
It might be worth asking the hospital about bringing DC with you. I have a risk assessment on saturday at the birth centre so I'm going to ask them their policy.

Last labour was incredibly long but I keep reading about the second one being much faster.

Oh dear, sounds like you two have it worse it really shouldn't be an issue with me! If it's during the night, it will be much simpler as everyone's at home and I do have 4 or 5 people to call on! It's just a worse case scenario plan really! What if they're all in meetings/on the toilet when I ring lol? First Labour was three and half hours so not ridiculously quick. It would just be easier if two people come, one to stay at home with ds til mil takes over (who only lives 15 mins away but works 45 mins away). It would be horrible if hubby had to wait outside with ds while I'm giving birth . But again, it's more what will happen to ds in Emergency situation if there's nobody there! I'll speak to midwife next appointment!

Helspopje, a bill would be the least of my worries! I'll let dh worry about that if it happens. Home deliveries equally terrify me! Im not good with pain. I just wanna be in a hospital with doctors and drugs and someone else to clean the sheets and get me tea I live in a terraced house in quiet estate and I'm a screamer . I have to say though, the idea of a home birth this time has certainly crossed my mind... Purely because of the toddler dilemma!

I was lying in bed last night thinking about exactly this situation!

My labour with DD was 3 hours, so very panicked about this one. She will be 21 months. DH works 40 minute drive away, mum is an hour way, best friend works 15 minutes away and can only come if on day off or leave if crewing allows.

My plan is make sure A LOT of Peppa Pig is on my sky planner. I can close lounge door (half glass so I can see her) and out a lot of towels/sheets in hallway then phone ambulance if I feel ready to push. She was out in 3 pushes so I'm expecting a similar, especially as the whole line of women on my mums side of the family have been the same!

Ah squishy... In a way it's comforting to know it's keeping other people awake, sorry! Oh God, I hadn't even considered Labour alone with ds in the other room

My husband works about an hours drive away and I have two boys. All your on call people will be right next to their phones believe me!! Everytime I rang anybody the week before my due date they answered in the first few rings sounding rushed!! I actually stopped calling people because everyone thought it was THE call!!

Watching with interest. I'm due in a month. We have a 2.5 year old and nearest parents at 2.5/3 hrs away. Friends all have kids of their own to look after so it'll be v tricky if my parents get stuck. I wasn't worried as I had a long first labour until the Mw emphasised that second labours are quicker. Now starting to worry a bit. It's difficult lug without the parents Round the corner.

Lol 27mummy! I forgot about that last time... Or God forbid if I missed a call... All he'll was breaking loose and panic all over the place

Anyway that's not the point... The point is what actually happens in these situations? It looks like others need to know a bit more than I do!

Ah rugbywidow do your friends have partners? Could they up and leave or are you more worried about daytime like me?

Lol 27mummy! I forgot about that last time... Or God forbid if I missed a call... All he'll was breaking loose and panic all over the place

Anyway that's not the point... The point is what actually happens in these situations? It looks like others need to know a bit more than I do!

Ah rugbywidow do your friends have partners? Could they up and leave or are you more worried about daytime like me?