Mother-in-law driving me insane and baby not even born yet!!!!

[StarsFishSand]

39weeks and the whole pregnancy has been one long stress, where mother in law is concerned!
The latest episode is because she is expecting to visit the hospital THE NIGHT OF MY SECTION!!

Didn't mean to hit send!
Am I being unreasonable to want to scream at her to back off!! But not so politely!

Hm, my lovely tranquil ELCS, scheduled for 10am, didn't begin until 4.30pm because of emergencies. By the time I was out of HDU and back on the ward, visiting was WAY over. Even if it hadn't been, no way was I up to visitors for a good 24 hours, including DS1 who I was desperate to see!

Well, on the basis of the info you give, that might be quite unreasonable, although I can quite understand why you wouldn't want her (or indeed anyone) to visit so soon after your section. Get your DH onside and tell her that you would prefer to wait and see how it goes and how you feel before committing to visitors on the night of your section. Point out you could end up getting bumped if there are lots of EMCSs that day, so you might in practice only just be out of theatre. And then, obviously, on the day it turns out you're not up to seeing her... shame.

she will not be allowed in outside of visiting hours.

you can tell her you'd rather she waited until you recover enough to have visitors.

but if she is desperate to see baby tell her that if all goes well she can wait in the visitors lounge (waiting area by receptionist's desk) and there's no reason why dad can't take baby out for her! (we did this as only my kids were allowed in!)

if you are not sure you can say these then type out my post and hand it to her!

you must set the tone and be firm or you'll always be having these power struggles!
if it doesn't suit you what she wants she just has to accept it.
period.

good luck with ELSC - some hospitals let you take your own music for OR, it's really nice to have something familiar like your favourite music!

My experience of my last section, which was an emergency, I was definitely not up for visitors, for at least 24hrs.
It's not just my mother in laws requests it's the way she goes about things and the ways she reacts when we don't agree with her or give in to her demands! She is completely unreasonable!
At a time where we are supposed to be happy and enjoying things we are stressed and anxious about the mother in law!!

Thank you ZingSweetApple
I'm starting to calm down a bit and not feel I'm going crazy!

I've got a thread going in the 'Am I being unreasonable' forum about a very, very, very similar problem I'm having!!

Did you have a thread about her a few days ago? She sounds a fecking nightmare.

Tbh Id be as pissed off as you, but secretly love the thought of her sat on a hard plastic chair in a hallway half a mile away itching to get in there yet not being allowed, or even knowing whats going on.

Have in massive capitals on your Plan that she is barred, and slip the MWs the wink to leave you til last so she gets a numb bum. Followed by baby arroving in the wee hours and her having to go home.

Oh it might have been writers thread - where you want to keep the date a secret to avoid this?

I can't find the thread! I'll keep looking. I'm glad I'm not alone.

MyNameIsKenAdams -picturing this made me smile! Would be nice to be in control