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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I've got a real, actual baby inside me. I am now freaked out and being a bit irrational.

23 replies

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 11:47

I am 31 weeks. This is my second child (although massive age gap). So you'd think I'd have got it by now.

Last night, I was laying on my left side watching TV. I had my hand under my bump. She was wringing and all of a sudden, I swore I could feel the sort of far off shape of a FOOT pushing against my hand. An actual persons foot INSIDE ME.

Like a dick, I screamed and started crying, cue husband also jumping up in a panic shouting 'whats wrong, whats happened?', my older ds running in and asking what was wrong.

All that I could jibber to them through my tears was "I've got a baby in me, and I think it's got a foot".

They both looked at me like this and carried on with their evenings while I defended into a silent panic.

So now, I am in a a total flap. I have a baby in me, and at some point in the cary near future, I have to get it out of me one way or another (trying for a repeat section, seeing consultant on wed) and either way will fucking hurt and then there will be a baby, here, next to me, which will need me and won't be able to make me toast and put the washing on like my 11 year old does.

It's just all seeming very, very real now, especially with this consultant appointment coming up. I have kind of blocked it out as it's all been very complicated trying to even see a dr to discuss a section so far and I am so nervous they will say no.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Rowlers · 27/01/2014 11:56

I remember feeling quite freaked when I clearly saw a foot or hand move from one side of my stomach to the other.
You've done it once, and you'll do it again and as soon as baby arrives, all will feel normal and right.
From what you have written, you seem to be very concerned with the birth. Maybe when you have seen the consultant and this is organised, you'll feel calmer.
You do seem quite freaked.
(sorry to say this too but I was a bit concerned by the toast / washing on the line bit - makes you sound just a little self-centred)
I hope all works out for you.

Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 12:02

Oh god, I was joking about the tea and washing thing! I was just thinking what a change it will be from having a child who is so independent to going back to having a tiny baby again relying on me for everything again, that's all!

It just hasn't seemed real until now. I have wanted another baby since ds was tiny, last night it hit me that it's actually happening. Feeling her foot really rammed it home.

OP posts:

livingzuid · 27/01/2014 12:09

It's not self centred. It's natural to be apprehensive and wonder how you will cope. It's a massive life change. I shouted at dh yesterday who said it would be fun. It won't be bloody fun when the baby is screaming its head off in the middle of tesco and even man and his dog tuts at you as they walk past, or when the toddler learns the word no. DH looked at me like I had two heads.

I freak out on a regular basis. I found out I was having a girl (was convinced it was a boy) and started to panic thinking I wouldn't bond with her properly (I have a not great relationship with my mum).

I would enjoy our selfish moments as much as possible. We won't get them in the future for many years! Until the day they can bring us free and toast in bed :)

livingzuid · 27/01/2014 12:10

And we have hormones to contend with. Am sure once you sort out your birth you will feel better.

SomethingkindaOod · 27/01/2014 12:11

I get you, when pg with DD2 she moved so violently and suddenly when I was lying flat on my back I could see what I think was a little fist under my skin moving across my stomach. She's my third and all I could think was 'holy fuck that's the baby!'
There's an 11 year difference between oldest and youngest here, it's fab, make the most of the novelty value and teach him to change nappies

sleepyhead · 27/01/2014 12:13

lol at Rowler's concern, as I before I read that I was going to post that one of the advantages of a large age gap (and ds1 is only 7 so yours is even better in this respect) is that the older sibling can come in really useful for fetching and carrying and making you toast

I'm obviously a very self-centred mother

Seriously though, I think it's really normal to have this sort of moment of clarity and think "fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!", because it is a big fat deal. But also wonderful and amazing and you will be fine .

ChaffinchOfDoom · 27/01/2014 12:16

at living
I'm nearly 31 weeks and some days it's OK. other days I have massive panic - it's nearly time!!
This will be my 2nd C-section, so I know what cometh. and it will be bloody hard. and it's 3rd dc... all the usual worry about the other 2 and how the hell will I take them to their sports stuff with a baby in tow?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

TobyLerone · 27/01/2014 12:20

Oh, for God's sake! The laundry/toast thing was funny and not self-centred and was completely understandable! How ridiculous, Rowlers.

OP, I get it. My DC are 14, 12 & just under 3 weeks old. And it's hard and weird to go back to having to actually look after someone again!

But it's lovely :)

TobyLerone · 27/01/2014 12:22

And the big age gap is fab! The big ones help a lot and they adore the new baby so much and are amazing with her.

akachan · 27/01/2014 12:24

This is really interesting to read. I haven't got any children (but trying hard to, sigh) but I have always felt that you must feel very weird! A whole other person but hiding in your insides!

Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 12:27

The age gap thing will defiantly be a bonus I think.

DS is quite a sweet boy and is over the moon about the baby. He has already said that every night he will help bath her, read her a story and tuck her in. We've talked about babies crying in the night, he says he will get up too to see how he can help - not that I can see that lasting beyond the second night home but it was a sweet sentiment.

Ds starts secondary school in september, it just seems like madness sometimes, 1'll have my first in secondary school and my second will be six months!

I just didn't expect it to all hit me as 'real' in one go like it did. Plus, dh put the cot up on friday, so now that is the first thing I see when I wake up in the mornings! I keep imagining the baby in there, which on one hand is lovely, on the other is bloody frightening!

I am just itching to get the birth sorted, I need to change hospitals too so everything being so up in the air isn't helping me feel calm.

ds is from a previous marriage, this is dhs first child, so he's never experienced pregnancy or childbirth before which sometimes makes it harder, especially as I have so I know the good and the bad already.

OP posts:

SomethingkindaOod · 27/01/2014 12:27

akachan strangely I tried not to actually think that too much when pg, it's something that I found way too strange if I thought about it too much! I mean yes the baby was there but an actual person? Slightly mind blowing!

Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 12:33

akachan it is really strange when you think about it. Even scans don't really get across to me that it's a real baby (the 2d ones).

I keep looking on line at week by week baby diagrams etc, I can't seem to visualise the way she is laying/just how big she is etc.

I can't really remember how I felt with ds, but I was 22 and more carefree having had no responsibilities, I just took it all as it came. Now I just look my ds and think "omg, there is another one of you in there!".

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Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 12:39

Sorry for all the typos btw, on phone.

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livingzuid · 27/01/2014 13:05

akachan I am actually really enjoying the thought that I am never actually on my own. It's a really lovely feeling to be so close to my baby. But the physical changes have been very hard to deal with. I am looking forward to meeting her so much and being able to be normal again - chaffinch knows what I mean! No more hg!

And then I realise too I'm going to be responsible about this little persons wellbeing and think holy shit when do I need to make sure she is in a good school and DH is already muttering boyfriends over his dead body - then it just makes me laugh. It is such a surreal experience!

SomethingOnce · 27/01/2014 13:10

Only in the namby-pamby, child-centred West do we see anything wrong with older kids helping out around the house. I bet it's great toast - and you're teaching valuable life skills

GlitzAndGiggles · 27/01/2014 13:25

It freaked me out too feeling her foot and watching it make my perfect round bump all mis-shaped but I got used to it after a few days. One day when I was on the bus dd was having a right wriggle and a little boy was watching my bump and looked horrified at it moving

Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 13:37

Glitz A few of ds friends have been freaked out by my moving bump as well! My cats are too, they have both been booted in the head a few times and now they think I hate them and won't come near me

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Seff · 27/01/2014 13:39

I could have written this! In fact, until I read about the 11 year old I wondered if maybe I did and had forgotten...

The actual moving limbs have freaked me out a bit, I appear to have suddenly remembered that I have to actually give birth again.

My first is only 3 1/2 yrs, so we're still working on most household chores - may I borrow your 11 year old to show her the ropes?

Rowlers · 27/01/2014 16:02

I do apologise about the self-centred comment - I guess I don't have children who make me toast etc (yet!) so slightly read too much into what you were saying.
Anyway, it sounds like you have a lovely 11 year old.

Original poster

loopylouu · 27/01/2014 16:04

Rowlers, it's fine don't worry about it

I probably would have thought the same when ds was much younger and not so independent.

OP posts:

dats · 27/01/2014 19:18

at this thread. I'm so with you. Almost 28 weeks with my first and every time I see a newborn/almost newborn/6 monther...oh anything under 12...in person, my tummy drops and I am gripped with fear and a sort of sense of ridiculousness! I gather it's quite normal. Bloody hope so

weebigmamma · 27/01/2014 20:38

OP- know what you mean!! My girl is 9 yrs old and I am 29weeks pg and starting to freak out about where the hell I'm going to put another baby and how can I cope with arguments about homework with the 9yr old and the cat miaowing and being annoying? lol. Plus, we're broke! I am crapping myself to be honest. And I have a consultant appt tomorrow and also trying to persuade them to give me a section and I know they're not keen. Stress!!

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