Finding out at 22+4

[milz2014]

I'm now 24+2. Really shocked to be honest, ive had no symptoms whatsoever, a little bit of weight gain that i put down to having a break from running (horse broke my toe!). Only found out after being taken to hospital with acute stomach pains. Baby's fine - i have no idea how, with christmas/new year + a load of birthdays, ive drank rather a lot :( haven't had my first midwife appt yet but am so scared. I don't have a lot of support around me as ive just moved back to the area and to be honest, the prospect of giving birth alone fills me with dread. Luckily i am normally fit and healthy. Ive not drank since i found out and have tried very hard not to smoke (gone from 20 a day to 2 - i know, its bad but its a start). Just don't know where to turn. I feel trapped. Baby's dads not on the scene and doesn't want to know - we split up in November. Any advice on anything would be fab (or a kick up the bum for panicing so much!)

I've been lurking around Mumsnet for ages but your post made me finally join and log in! Just wanted to say my heart went out to you when I read what you'd written and I wanted to reassure you.

You will be absolutely fine. Yes, it's overwhelming and scary (even for people with plenty of support) but all will be well. The not finding out for ages thing seems to be relatively common. It happened to Zoe Williams, who writes for the Guardian- maybe Google her and read some of her articles about it- at least they will make you laugh!

As for the drinking and smoking- I really wouldn't worry. They say stopping smoking at any stage during pregnancy has benefits for the baby. And as a former smoker myself I'd just say bloody well done for not chain smoking as a result of the shock!

Try to look after yourself. Take it in small steps. Take your time before you make any decisions. Give your brain a chance to wrap itself around the news. Maybe even if your support isn't physically there you can find it by ringing or Skype-ing the people that care about you. And of course there's here!

Thank you Evie. The doctor that confirmed it made me feel like a right Muppet! He made some silly comment about typical teenager. Evidently not read my notes - I'm 23! I must admit the first thing i did after they let me go was light up - opps. Its just all so sudden.

Hi milz, not much advice to offer but wanted to lend some support in any case. I know loads of people privately and publicly say 'how could she not know she was pregnant' but I think it would be quite easy to get to 20 odd weeks and not know. I was on the cerazette pill before this pregnancy and one of the 'side effects' is that I don't have periods. I haven't had a normal monthly cycle in 3.5 years since I started taking it! Not that I'm complaining of course...! And lots of women don't show at that stage and don't feel movements yet either.
I'm sorry you're feeling alone, and dads not on the scene, doesn't make things easy. You have plenty of time still to make arrangements so why not ask your midwife if she/he recommends any support groups/ ante natal classes where you may meet friends and gain some support in your area? I know it must feel like you have so much to do and think about but you'll be fine.
Finally, don't worry about drinking in the early stages, loads of women do that before realising, and well done for trying to quit smoking. On the positive side at least you got through the part of pregnancy which makes many women feel terrible without a hitch!