Please help on breast feeding stupid question post lol

[SweetPea86]

Hi I really want to give breast feeding a go even though every one I tell is against it and tells me it won't last long.
Positive thinking eh?

What do I need to know, how often can I express so hubby can beyond/help.

What is people's reaction bf outsite ei shops etc.

How long do you breast feed for.

I need to know so much more but not sure what to ask lol

Do what's right for you! Who cares what anyone else says?!

I fed my DD for 10 months, I only stopped as I was going back to work.

I expressed from as soon as my milk was properly in (3 days after I had her) and froze the milk for use later. We started giving her bottles of my expressed milk round about 8 weeks of age though she was a little awkward with bottles.

I breast fed in a variety of places- restaurants, pubs, supermarket cafés, car parks, the park, anywhere really. No one batted an eyelid, especially as I used to put a scarf through my bra strap and drape it round DD so no one could tell anyway- she would be too busy looking around rather than feeding otherwise!

I must say it was an overwhelmingly positive experience for me personally. One thing that really helped me was seeing a local breast feeding counsellor at a mum and baby club before I have birth. No question was off limits and she was very honest- yes, it can be hard to feed but there is a lot of help available of you have problems.

Just take your time- don't feel rushed to make a decision and ignore what judgey people say for or against. Personally, I don't think it matters how a baby is fed, as long as they have a full tummy and happy mummy! Each to their own!

have you seen this site? Has a lot of info and answers to all your questions: kellymom.com

Find your local children's centre and see if they have a breast feeding support group. It's often called a baby cafe. Then go along and ask questions. Your midwife may be able to let you have details of an antenatal breast feeding workshop as well.

DS is 13 weeks now and I have fed him in the doctor's, in a pub, in a supermarket cafe, in a cubicle at the pool and in the parents' room at John Lewis. It's not a problem at all. Is your partner supportive? Good luck!

There's also a great breast and bottle feeding forum over in 'feed the world' here on mumsnet. I found it so useful in the early days.

I BF my DS for 6 months, I really enjoyed it and was lucky in that it all was straight forward for me.

BF is different for everyone and it is a very personal experience. I bought a really good book while I was pg I think it was called The Food of Love and I found it good as it prepared me a bit for what was to come. It also goes a little bit in to the science of it so when people (MIL mainly) started going on that I should give DS water/he shouldn't be feeding so much etc I felt confident to tell them that it was all perfectly normal and he didn't need water etc.

I think the thing that surprised me the most was how long DS could feed for and the frequency especially in the first 12 weeks. I really enjoyed it though and just took advantage of being able to snuggle up on the sofa with my lovely newborn. It can be tough but don't let others put you off if it's something you really want to do.

I also never had a negative experience feeding in public I always found people to be really nice about it.

Good luck in whatever way you decide to feed your baby.

I'm no BF expert, but I can only tell you how it went for me. Firstly give it a go that's the best you can do and expect it to be a little sore for the first few weeks. Your nipples won't be used to all the friction, mine bled a little at times. There's lots of support out there. And the MW should be able to help too.

How often can you express really varies from one person to the next. I could express a good amount within a few weeks yet a friend of mine really struggled to express enough for a feed. I BF till Dd was full. So it could be an hour for one feed but only 30 minutes for another. You can't over feed a BF baby.

Thanks ladies, I will look up those forums nd book, and go to the class,

Yes my hubby is very supportive, I'm feeling a little anxious that I will fail at breast feeding I really want to be able to do it.

Three bits of advice for happy breast feeding:

1.Buy lansinoh cream for your nips, apply it before and after every feed for the 1st 6 weeks

1. Google pics of how a baby's mouth looks when it's latched on to feed

1. Trust your body and your baby to know how much milk to make/take and just feed when baby's wants to which is usually when they cry. Also remember thats that's pretty much all the time for the first few weeks, but it will get easier!

You'll be fine. I've bf both mine and can't wait to get going with DC3 when they're here. It's the best excuse for sitting down in front of daytime telly I've ever found and I love it!

Check with your hospital - they may run a breastfeeding workshop that you can attend before the birth.

How you feed your child is your decision as parents, so all i can suggest is that you develop a flat stare, as if you wouldn't dream of going immediately to bottles and why is the other person being so ridiculous as to even think such a thing (this is a useful attitude in general I've found, everyone has an opinion on everything parenting related ime!)

I would wait a week or two before trying to express, simply so you have time to get into the swing of things. The more your baby feeds, the more milk you'll have the next day - hold that thought when s/he feeds more, it's very rare that there's "not entirely milk" and exceptionally common that the clever baby knows s/he's about to have a growth spurt.

Once you get used to your new life, pick a time each day when you express. That way, your body thinks that there's an extra feed at that time and your supply will adjust to cope. Don't worry if you don't get much, a pump is far less efficient than a baby. Fwiw I'm still feeding at 14 months and barely got 2oz. I know other people who've gone longer and barely got a drop; it's not an indication of how much milk there is.

I don't think anyone's ever noticed me breastfeeding apart from the one time i tried to faff with a scarf (thanks, insecure mother when ds was a week old ) just be careful with clothing - a button up shirt or dress, a loose-ish tee shirt to pull up over a vest (to hide and keep warm your tummy) which you pull down, or both h+m and mothercare do cheapish feeding tops (£20 for 2) with easy access.

In the early days, feeds can be up to an hour or so long - make sure you've got a drink, food and the tv remote to hand! - but get shorter as the baby's mouth gets stronger. By 9 months we were at 20 minutes twice a day, even though at 1 month it was roughly 40 minutes every 2-3 hours. Milk production is highest after midnight so don't be surprised if you baby wakes several times to feed before dawn - ds regularly slept 8-2, 2:30-4:30, 5-6 having fed solidly (cluster feeding) from 5:30/6-8pm.

Comparing experiences with formula feeding friends, we reckon they're actually about the same amount of work over all, but with breastfeeding almost all the work is done in the first 3-4 months. Bottles still need to be cleaned and prepared at 2 years, while i just whip a boob out a couple of times a day. That said, if you're really struggling to breastfeed then formula is not a failure. The right thing is to feed your child, delivery method is secondary to that

Fed dd until she was 13 months, ds1 until he was 12 months, and ds2 until he was 26 months (he took ages to self-wean).

Never had any adverse comments out and about.

I expressed from about 4 weeks with dd. Got quite good at it. But she wasn't very keen on bottles. Mostly froze the milk for emergency/weaning.

Ds1 and ds2 I didn't bother expressing. By then was a bit of a pro feeder and had worked out that the pathway to good sleep (mine) was co-sleeping. I was nowhere near as tired with either of them because of co-sleeping and so never really felt the need for overnight help.

I'm feeling a little anxious that I will fail at breast feeding

I'm very very pro breastfeeding but please please please don't think of formula as failure. Not feeding your child is failing. There are many reasons breastfeeding doesn't work out, a big one being the pressure it puts on the mother and her mental health. Your well being is just as important as your baby's, and things like thrush can feel like someone is stabbing you with hot needles in your nipple every time the baby sucks - bloody good reason to use a bottle if i ever heard one!

My husband took over all nappy changing duties when he was home on paternity leave and when he was home in general. As he put it, 'hon, you deal with input, I deal with output'. And it really helped when establishing bfing to have one thing I did not need to worry about so by the time he went back to work, I was fairly confident.

Do visit the bfing boards and/or kellymom.

I am still breast feeding 9 months down the line. It has been great to look at my daughter growing and think; I made this happen. The pros: no sterilising, getting out and about is easier with less stuff to pack and you will never accidentally run out of food. I found expressing easier in the mornings and built it into a routine so I always had a store in the freezer. Oh and it's soooo much cheaper than formula and in the beginning it's magic medicine for babies, full of stuff to keep them fighting fit. Cons: it hurts at first, like really. I wish someone had told me how much, even when the latch is right. BUT this gets better and spoons becomes painless. It can be tiring you need to make sure you eat and drink well, and rest in the early days. In fact I would just use the first 6 weeks to feed and rest. I wish I hadn't tried to do too much in the first 6 weeks. There are growth spurts at 3 and 6 weeks where baby feeds like crazy, it does not mean you don't have enough milk, just that your baby is ensuring you make enough. Ummm, what else...I brought a mamascarf for when I was out and about and DD was tiny but stopped using it as soon as she got too nosy! Still, helped me feel better about feeding in publi, which I have done hundreds of times now and be never had anyone look or comment, if you do, complain your arse off, no one can tell you to stop. I think that's it. Good luck! Oh and I'm with Purple, formula feeding is NOT failure. X

I would recommend reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. See if your library has a copy.

My maternity hospital works with a group called the breastfeeding network. They're volunteers who visit you (if you agree to it in advance) to discuss breastfeeding,help with any problems and answer your questions. They will also allocate a volunteer to visit at home if you want and keep in touch by phone & text,again if you agree to it. I think this particular group is only in my area but definatley worth asking If your hospital do something similar.

My experience of breastfeeding not as positive as everyone else's but want to give you all sides and show its not all doom and gloom! My daughter is 2 weeks old and within an hour of her being born I tried to breast feed. She latched but kept falling off the breast. I tried for days while In hospital (kept in for 3 days) with lots of support from midwives and maternity care assistants but kept having the same problem,DD would latch,get a couple of sucks,fall off,be unable to get back on and get so frustrated she couldn't physically get back on. I'm now exclusively express feeding (my supply us excellent thankfully) and been doing so for almost 2 weeks now. Don't get me wrong it's bloody hard work and not for everyone but I'm so glad I'm able to do it,even if my supply only keeps up another week or so I've gave her a great start. So even if you can't actually breastfeed there are options out there before formula (which as many before me gave said is not a failure if you do need it)

There's no such thing as a stupid question and you've had some great advice on this thread. I really second stargirl's recommendation about The wommanly art of breastfeeding by La Leche. If you can't get it at the library, you can order it off amazon (or download it as an ebook).

I have been breastfeeding my DS for six months in shops, on the bus, in restaurants, the park...you get the idea! It is your right to breastfeed in public and it is illegal under the 2004 Equalities Act for staff to ask you to stop or move. I used a sling for discreet feeding, which really helped when I wanted to be mobile and the baby was hungry.

Things I wished I had known...
1)Breastfeeding takes a lot of practice. It's also bloody hard work in the first three months.
2)Sort out a night strategy to maximise your sleep. We now have a co-sleeping side crib and it has saved my sanity when DS has gone on an all night binge.
3)Don't feel guilty for the occasional glass of wine. You can have a drink and breastfeed.
4)Research pumps carefully before spending your hard earned cash. My medula swing is fab, but I only found it after trying out a hand pump and Phillips Avent.
5) National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212. It's staffed by volunteers and they can be a handy source of advice when you are desperate.

You won't fail. Even if you do decide on formula. Your baby is lucky to have a thoughtful and caring mum.

Do what you want to do! I BF my DD for a year (it decreased naturally as she got older and eventually just tailed off pretty naturally). I BF her in a variety of public places - trains, planes, restaurants, bars (!), beach. TBH no one seemed to really care and as you get more used to doing it, you won't either. I never really got into a proper routine with expressing; it was a bit hit and miss. Some days I managed it when she had a nap and was then able to give DP a bottle to feed her when he got home, others I didn't. Where I was able to I froze it, which was quite handy to have. I did feel that there was a huge amount of pressure to exclusively BF and felt like a failure when I did introduce one bottle of formula a day (I clearly remember crying over DD when I gave it to her) but as Purple says, it isn't a failure to feed your baby however you need to; it's a failure not to. It can hurt at first but stock up on nipple cream and it will get better (and easier!). I'm PG again now and am far more relaxed this time round about the BF / FF 'thing'. Ultimately DD is now a thriving, happy nearly-2-year-old, so all's good. Good luck!

Oh and meant to say to make use of any NCT / Children Centre etc BF'ing support groups that there are - I found my local one really, really helpful.

I never got on with expressing.

Never had any reactions from anyone in shops, cafes etc and I fed everywhere and not particularly discreetly. Most people don't notice.

Fed for just over a year and then gave DS cow's milk.

Loved it

i had a similar experience to anothermrssmith & my son just didnt latch on my useless flat nipples. i expressed for about 6 weeks then formula fed.

this is a lovely thread as all the responses are so supportive of doing whats right for you.

you can bleat on til the cows come home about the wonderful properties of breast milk which can make those of us who struggle feel guilty, but honestly, im sure theres many other factors in life that influence whether you get x,y and z!

as others have said by far the most important thing is that baby isnt hungry, and mummy is relaxed and happy. you have to make the right choice for your family and not give a hoot what anyone else thinks. i remember back to the first time and how many people said oh yes, do whats best for you but then added "but breast feeding really is best"; seriously, getting into the mindset of not caring what other people think is definitely a bigger thing than the feeding question!

It really is lovely but the first couple of months can be hard. Being prepared and aware of very common problems will help you loads. Bfing cafes were not for me so online support and kellymom were vital in overcoming the odd blocked duct, chapped nipples and voracious feeding etc.

Expressing didn't work for me either. Even though I've been lucky and have been able to pump 5oz per boob, dd just wouldn't entertain a bottle. Ime many of the trickier aspects were made worse by my determination/neurosis to have the perfect Bfing experience. By that I mean, upsetting myself by throwing bottle after bottle of unwanted expressed breast milk down the sink or fantasising about cleaning when pinned to the couch cluster feeding. As soon I accepted that expressed feeds were not for dd and and the house is second to a healthy baby having a marathon snuggle sesh, I was much happier.

I have only ever had sweet smiles from women when I've fed in public and men will give themselves whiplash to look in the opposite direction.

A glass or two of wine is ok too.

Good luck.

Thanks for all the supportive posts ladies. Really helpful and I feel a bit more confident about it all. Thanks for the books and I will sign up for a support group.

I don't have any friends who've breast fed and my mum with me couldn't do it she said she felt like I wasn't getting any milk, were as with formula she could see the bottle going down.

So I feel I little be over whelmed with it all. I have no experince with babies AT ALL. Which I'm starting to worry about my friends are naturally good with kids were I've held a baby from time to time but that it is.

I think the media has a way of making you feel guily about not breast feeding, going bk about 6 months ago when I was a month pregnant the news was doing stories on bribing women to breast feed with money off coupons. Need to stop over anylising every thing and try and relax a bit more.

Really lovely posts of you all and it has helped loads thanks

Never ever compare your inside to someone else's outside

They're probably screaming "ohfuckohfuckohfuck what do i do if it craps on me" behind the serene cooing...

I had a similar experience as anothermrssmith in the first days. It was awful and scary. However 3 days in it just clicked and have been EBF since. DD is now 5 weeks old so it's still early days but it feels so normal and natural now. Perseverance (and plenty of skin-to-skin) through the first couple of weeks and not being scared to ask for help is the key. BF counsellors are great, most Sure Start centres have one.
Also try to attend a BF class whether it be NHS, NCT or the like. Our NCT sessions were invaluable. I read the Womanly Art of BF too, it's great. Baby-Led BF is bit more readable if you're new to it though. Your library should have them both.
I haven't started expressing yet as I don't feel ready to. So busy I don't know how I'd fit it into my days! Also love the closeness of BF and don't feel the need to introduce a bottle just yet.
I don't know many people who have BF, but no one has tried to dissuade me from doing it. If they did I think I'd just reel off the positives; less time consuming - no sterilising, making up F, storing and warming bottles etc, better for baby's immature digestive system (your milk is made just for your baby's needs), great for antibodies, adapts to suit their age and development as they grow, great for bonding. The list is endless. The decision to BF or FF is very personal so I really don't understand why people feel the need to interfere. Do what you feel is right for you and don't feel intimidated by others (ahem especially midwives). Good luck!