Worried about having newborn with 2.2yo toddler.

[Madallie]

I'm 37+2 with dc2. Dd is almost 2.2yo, adorable, funny, clever and very spirited. I'm just feeling very overwhelmed as I near the end of this pregnancy about how i will cope with 2. I know many many already do this but I'm just feeling worried about it.

How will dd adjust to new baby, how will I keep to routines we already have, which dd really needs esp as Dh often works very late so I'm on my own for bedtime most of the week? Also, dd is very sensitive to noise I really worry how she'll cope with a baby crying particularly at night. Dd has also started taking 1 or1.5 hrs to get to sleep at night and that's in a quiet house. I go up to her on and off to try and settle her but again how will I be able to do this with a newborn in tow?

I know I'm probably just being silly and will just need to go with the flow which I do find difficult. I am also really excited about dc2 and can't wait to meet the lo and I know it'll be wonderful for dd to have a sibling, I just can't help feeling very anxious.

Bump. Or just wondering if I've posted in wrong section thinking about it now?!

I feel your anxiety. I'm 38+1 and have a feisty, funny, energetic (and quite often moody) 2.5 year old DS. My husband is gone for 12/13 hours most days, DS1 is not at nursery (and won't be until he turns three in September) and I live overseas, so only have my MIL nearby, and while she's lovely and helpful, she can only do so much to pitch in.

I've decided a mother's helper is on the cards for me, and feel bloody lucky that we're in a position to afford to have someone come in for three hours at the end of the day and assist while I cook dinner, put the children to bed, do bath time etc.

And I've also decided that apart from naps and evening sleep, the obligation to do anything else can go flying out of the window!

That does sound tough too. I do have family near which is very lucky and I'm very grateful, but obviously the responsibility is mine at the end of the day and I find this prospect overwhelming. I find bedtime quite stressful and can only imagine it getting harder when dc2 is in the mix.

I had my second when first was 21 months. My mum is very near us and she came almost every day v to help. She was a massive help. I would have had far more trouble without her help

At least I'm not the only one to feel/have felt this way. It all of a sudden feels so daunting.

DS1 was 22mo when DS2 arrived. He barely noticed him in the car seat when we returned from hospital (but was very pleased with the big toy digger DS2 had bought for him). I had worried about all the same things as you but it was fine - really.

Newborns don't cry very loudly for a while and your DD is so young she will forget very, very quickly that there was ever a time before the baby.

DH works shifts so I had to do bedtime alone within a few weeks too. It wasn't perfect - DS2 had to cry on the floor in DS1's room for a bit while DS1 had the quickest bath and went without his story for a while but it was OK and none of us were scarred by it.

You will cope and your DD will love it.

Thank you Leviticus. I guess I'll only know what it's like when dc2 arrives and we'll all just gave to adjust. I think the worry gets worse the nearer my due date comes. Maybe if I could try and get dd to fall asleep quicker at night I'd feel less worried as that's a big source of stress for me atm.

I was really worried too, but it's been amazing, and not much more work at all...feels like 1.5 x effort.... I bathe, dress and feed them at the same time which helps. Ds1 is 3' ds2 is 10 months .

Giving my son a sibling is something that makes me smile very day, they really seem to like eachother.

I have the same age gap

Dd1 was a very articulate and 'spirited' toddler

She spent the first week pointedly ignoring dd2, then she started climbing into the Moses basket for her naps, and then she bit dd2 on the leg

The first 4 weeks were tough, I'm not going to lie but it got easier

What I found helped was a cheap bouncy chair -took it into the bathroom while dd1 was in the bath, could rock it with my foot while dd1 had a story etc
It was an absolute godsend

My top tip would be when you aren't feeding baby put her down and concentrate on your toddler. The newborn will sleep loads (even if they don't sleep at night they will sleep at some point) and they don't need holding all the time. Your two year old will still need lots of attention.
You can sneak a cuddle with baby while your toddler has a nap!

Another one who had the same worries as you. DD was 2 when DD2 arrived and DH also works away a bit.

A good sling is what made it possible for me (I used the Moby) and was especially useful at bath / bed time.

i was surprised by how little DD1 was disturbed by DD2 crying at night, and she v quickly got used to having a sibling, that said there was/ is a bit of pretending to be a baby and needing carrying, wanting to be in the Moses basket etc.

Last thing, I found DD2 was a bit unsettled with sleep and generally in my last few weeks of pregnancy but went back to normal when DD1 arrived. Its as if she could sense things were changing.

Try not to worry, or feel guilty about how much your TV might be on for the first few weeks, things do get back to normal, even if it is a slightly different normal.

No advice but wanted to let you know i'm in exactly the same position. DS is 2.3yo (& very energetic) and DC2 is arriving on tuesday (elcs). I've had all the same worries but figured that i dont know quite how DS will react once baby arrives and to just try to relax and enjoy these last few days now playing with DS.

I'm very lucky that my mum has come to stay for a few weeks as i wont be able to physically do much and DH cant take a lot of time off work.