Sitting here crying.

[Writerwannabe83]

I have no idea why though - well I do, but it's nothing worth crying over. I'm hoping it is just my hormones and emotions being all over the place. I just find myself getting angry and annoyed and then just start crying. I'm feeling pissed off at my husband - does anyone else ever feel annoyed at them because they just don't understand the stresses of pregnancy, emotionally and physically?? Mostly I love him but sometimes I just want to kill him. Feeling quite alone actually. The worst thing is that I know I'll provably wake up tomorrow and feel fine which makes these crying periods even worse, because it all just feels so pointless

Nah, not pointless.

Your life and body are going through massive changes, and sometimes this is just going to happen I'm afraid. You are speaking to the biggest pregnancy whinger

Let it out, speak it out and then sleep

All will be well....

Hope your feeling a bit better this morning writer.

I'm also feeling all emotional and weepy this week - I particularly get the feeling alone bit. I'm blaming entering the third trimester!

I read that we start releasing a hormone that makes you 'dependent' (beta endorphin? Read it here ) so maybe that's why we get upset when we feel unsupported or lonely?

Thank goodness for MN to keep us company

I don't feel much better. My DH heard me crying last night so came to ask what was wrong and it lead to a huge argument. I tried to explain how I felt, told him what was on my mind and let's just say it didn't go down too well. Cue lots more tears from me followed by a very awkward night and a very awkward morning. Apparently I say some very nasty things - whatever. I don't regret anything I said and would say the same things again today. He just can't take criticism or accept he can be in the wrong sometimes. Like you said, thank God for MN when you need to rant, he certainly doesn't want to hear it.

Sorry you're feeling shit, it is 'normal' to be totally off kilter. If you end up feeling you aren't worth anything then take it really seriously though. Does occupying your time help at all? Cooking tends to chill me out big time, especially if there's no one disturbing me.

You body is exhausted, all your organs are supporting 2 people - and that other person is busy taking all the energy it can out of your bloodstream. No wonder your mind is in a stressed condition.

I tend to think it's worth holding the hurtful stuff in as much as you can, and apologising for it/explaining afterwards - the hurt lingers a long time, even when your views have changed.

I just feel generally low. I've been signed off work for 16 weeks and spend every day in the house on my own. I feel like all I'm good for is doing the housework and cleaning up after my lazy husband whilst he does nothing. I've got two chronic health conditions and now severely anaemic and I'm just shattered all the time, as well as feeling lousy. I'm under Consultant Care for the pregnancy as well as 3 Consultants for my own health problems and DH never even bothers remembering me having appointments, let alone bothers to ask me how they went. I don't sleep, I've got permanent back ache and I'm just fed up. I had to do loads of things yesterday, clean our flooded kitchen, two lots of laundry, polishing, did two lots of washing-up, went and did the shopping, went to my midwife appointment, went to B&Q to get bits for the decorating, general tidying when I got back, prepared and cooked dinner and then washed up again after it. My husband came home from work at 5pm, sat on the sofa and did absolutely nothing until he went to bed. Most evenings he goes to the Gym so isn't home until 7pm and follows the same pattern of collapsing on the sofa. On Saturdays and Sundays he plays football so when he does get home he's 'too tired' to do anything. Does he not think I'm tired??! There is so much stuff around the house that needs doing before the baby comes, the place is a mess because I struggle to do things now and he just doesn't care. He doesn't seem to understand that I'm 30 weeks pregnant, feel lousy most days and I need his support!

So that's basically what I told him - I'm not apologising for it though. He told me it hurt him to have me say such things to him so I told him it hurts to feel like it!!! If things don't change I'm going to go and stay with my mom for so few days because otherwise I'm going to go crazy. I just don't need this constant stress.

Oh no

Well give him time to stew. Hopefully tonight he'll have got over it and you never know, he might have listened.

X-post!

Maybe heading to your mums for a bit of TLC isn't a bad idea - if it were me. If make it clear that I was going because I needed the rest, rather than flouncing as that would just make my DH dig his heels in even further!

As I say, you might find he has listened and might sharpen up, his ego is just a bit bruised.

I think Writer that your husband sounds like a self-obessed arsehole.

I won't tell you what mine was like during my pregnancies (and in general actually) because it will break your heart to hear the difference.

He needs to shape up, and demonstrate that he is ready to become a father. WTF is with the football? He's not a kid that can just bugger off to the park with his mates all day long!

BTW - stop doing all the jobs. Getting home from work at 5pm is early. He has plenty of evening to go to B&Q and do his share of the laundry and tidying.

I've just got home from being out for 5 hours and I'm feeling a little bit better. I think being housebound and being on my own day in and day out really isn't helping. I'm going crazy!!

I was feeling exactly the same yesterday, very emotional and rather depressed and hate that DH can't understand how I feel someone's. Woke up today and feel much better! Hormones are a nightmare!

He's downstairs now wallpapering the kitchen and he has said he'll clean the kitchen floor afterwards too. There was even a hint of him suggesting he'll clean the bathroom. I'm still feeling melancholy today, I'm not myself at all, feeling and acting a bit flat and I think he's picked up on it. I had a
list of things I wanted to get done today and I just physically haven't had the energy. I just feel drained. I've picked up my double dose iron tablets tonight from the Chemists so I'm hoping that in time they will make me feel better. Somedays I'm on Cloud 9 and others I just want to run away. It's driving me mad.

He sounds like he needs to shape up to me.... if hes like this now, hes gonna have a shocker when the baby is born. He needs to learn to stop putting himself first now. It will be all about the nipper when she/he arrives.

I think that's why he's making the most of hid free time now. He's the Captain of two football teams and our local cricket team and he has handed in his notice to all 3 teams - so they know that as of March he will no longer be playing. That made me happy Apparently weekend time will how be family time and he wants to take the baby to the farm and the zoo.... Lol. I said baby will be a bit too young to appreciate it at first but it's nice he feels that way My DH has never been around babies! I don't think he's got a clue as to how much our lives are going to change.

Writer i do know how you feel. I sometimes feel like i'm shouldering all the responsibility for our future 'family'. We're moving house at the moment and i'm doing ALL the mortgage stuff, liaising with the architect, all that kind of thing. It's my own fault too though as i'm a control freak:)

It's funny you should mention the zoo- as last weekend OH said to me ''oh it'll be so nice to go to the zoo this summer with a real baby!'' to which i replied smartly ''yeah, because i'll have the energy for that 2 weeks after birth, PLUS the baby will be too small to appreciate it anyway'' which in hindsight was a nasty retort from me, borderline passive aggressive! sounds like we both need to communicate a bit better with OHs too, they're not mind readers either which we forget sometimes i think.. men are from mars etc :) They are also missing our maternal instinct which makes it so much harder.. he just sounds so chilled out that he's horizontal- my OH is the same. I love him for it sometimes, but other times (like now) it's a headache.

I'm glad there's no more cricket from march- that's a massive help! that'll free up HOURS of his time!!

I do think you need to stop doing so much. You've been signed off work for a reason, and if you're not well enough to work then you're not really well enough to be dashing around cleaning flooded kitchens and all the rest of it!

Agree that getting home at 5pm is early. My DH is rarely home before 7pm, often it's much later than that, and when I'm not pregnant I take full responsibility for housework etc because I view that as fair. But he has really stepped up while I've been pregnant (and although I was sick for a long time, I'm fine now).

I'm glad that your DH is doing the wallpapering but I think, honestly, he needs to know that family time shouldn't wait for the baby to be born; the baby is growing inside his wife right now and she needs him! Family time starts now!

chica - a few people have said that men don't 'get it' in the same way we do because they aren't the ones carrying the baby. I'm constantly being kicked and reminded that very soon something living is going to be coming into this world, whereas my husband just sees a bump. He doesn't understand why I get so stressed because he is just so laid back. Our attitudes are probably confusing each other

mazipanned - I know you're right and I should slow down but I just feel so pointless at the moment. When I was going to work I had a purpose and now I don't. I miss being busy and doings things - I need to feel like I'm doing something contributory and that there is a point to me getting out of bed in the morning. Things have been much better with my husband today, I'm hoping I was having a crazy blip

Writer I can really sympathise as I felt exactly the same way for a couple of months. Completely useless. But I just kept telling myself I'm growing a human and that's enough! Anyway, glad things are better today, but do try to go easy on yourself...in a couple of months you will have forgotten the meaning of time to yourself :-)

Hey listen, this happened to me and I arranged some CBT because I was worried that it would turn into PND when baby came. I can recommend it massively.