This single mother is pregnant again- how do I make a decision on what to do?

[Mintymoomoo]

So following my message yesterday I decided to grow up and POAS, and big fat blue pregnant!

At the moment I don't really feel anything, not happy or upset...... Just nothing!

So how do in make the decision on what is the right thing to do????

Do you want another child?
Can you afford another child?
Do you have ethical objections to a termination?
Will the child's father be supportive?

I read a tiny bit of your thread yesterday. It's obviously your decision, but in this situation I'd honestly think what's best for your other dc. This culd so easily be me. I'm a lp to 3 dc, have a bf but we don't live together. If I found myself pregnant I honestly think id terminate. My mental health just wouldn't cope with another baby and I don't feel I have enough time to give the dc I already have. Adding another to the mix wouldn't be fair on anyone. But of course, that's all hypothetical. Whatever you decide, it'll be the right decision for you so good luck.

Thanks for replies, still no closer to knowing what's best to do, feeling kind of numb like it's not real!!!!

Told boyfriend and he 100% does not want it, so I def know where I stand if I decide to go ahead!

Thinking best thing for me at the moment is no maybe get doc booked in for sometime next week and hopefully after a few days/weekend of thinking time my head may be a little clearer and I might mentally be in a better place to make this decision!

Just so hard! Never thought I would find myself in this position

Follow your gut. Don't get bogged down by the practicalities.

You either want another baby or you don't.

Best of luck either way xxxx

I always thought I did but just in other circumstances, not like this!

Your totally right though I need to think about my feelings first and what I want and not worry about the what ifs!

I'm in a similar position. Pm me if you'd like to talk.

Thank you berry glitter I have pm'd you xxx

Of course you should worry about the what ifs!

Good luck whatever you decide x

I've been in a similar situation - unexpected, bad personal circumstances, though wanted children in the future. I terminated. It was crap and it took me a while to get over it due to the hormonal comedown, but it was honestly the right decision; I never could've coped with a baby the way things were then, and DP and I's relationship would've undoubtedly suffered. I'm pg again now, planned this time, and it's really made me realise how right I was not to go through with it last time - it wouldn't have been right for me, DP, OR the baby.

How old are you? (sorry,i missed the other thread)

The same happened me at age 26- OH didnt want it- i didnt want to be a single mother so we terminated (and i dumped his ass).

It's somewhat OT but i wouldnt want to be with someone who didnt want to father my child- so this needs to be taken into account too.

In my case i figured i was 26, so young enough to start again and meet someone who would be right for me and would want children with me.. however, if you are 39, or if i had been 39, i'd probably keep the child.. IYKWIM.

I havnt seen your thread but There are always a million reasons not to have a baby. The practical side will sort it's self out, your DP may come round if you keep it, but he may not. You must make your choice on your feelings alone not his.
You have time. My advice is give yourself a week or 2 to just let it sink in & listen to your natural feelings. Forget your head for a minute, what does your gut say?
I'f I were you I'd tell your partner you need space and maybe don't discuss things with anyone that could sway you either way.
Whatever you decide you need to be comfortable with your choice.
Good luck xxx

That is good advice justhayley, my gut has never done me wrong (but my head has!!) so do make sure you listen to your gut Minty, as whatever it tells you is likely to be the right thing.
I listened to my gut when it happened to me and do maintain i made the right decision.

All the Mints are pregnant at the moment.

I found out yesterday, OP and also had that 'not feeling anything' thing all of yesterday... My head feels a lot clearer today. I think you (and me!) need to give it a few more days to come to terms with the situation.