Ill and calling in sick in pregnancy vs ill and not pregnant

[Sausagesaurus]

Hi Ladies, just wondering what the general consensus is on this really.

I've come into work today even though I have terrible ear ache, which I get nearly every year around this time, as well as a sore throat, cough, dizziness and just generally feeling under the weather. If I wasn't pregnant, I would usually be reluctant to call in work because of this, however, now that I am pregnant (11 weeks +2) I'm wondering whether I should take it a bit easy and maybe go off sick for a couple of days. My manager is aware that I'm pregnant (no one else at work is) and I also spoke to him this morning on the phone and told him that I wasn't feeling well so he probably wouldn't be surprised if I did call in tomorrow.

I have been absolutely exhausted since coming back after the Christmas break which I have been putting down to jetlag as I had been away, however, I'm wondering now whether it was the signs of me coming down with something.

Does anyone else call in sick during in pregnancy when they usually wouldn't?

I'd probably go in anyway if you think you usually would, but you know your body and what you can cope with best. Pregnancy certainly doesn't make being ill any easier, and if you think it's exacerbating an illness to the point that you need to take time off when you wouldn't have needed to otherwise, I think that sounds reasonable.

Minnie, I suspect that people are saying your response was uncalled for less because of what you said, exactly, and more because the way you said it was pretty rude. OP wasn't trying to imply that she is 'special', she's just acknowledging that her body is under some extra strain and asking for advice on how to deal with it.

I think you need to do what you need to do. I am 31 weeks and have a physically demanding job. The Christmas break has actually set me back. Given my muscles a chance to relax, ive been stuck indoors, not as much fresh air...
I have in the last week had a horrible ENT based virus which I'd not have got before pg, and ive not dealt with it well. In years gone by I suffered with similar ENT problems a lot and just soldiered on, this time it's knocked me for six. And believe me, I haven't had a day off sick in 5 years, I don't just cop out.
This virus is doing the rounds ATM and it took a while to build up. My advice is to take each day as it comes and just see how you feel.

I haven't been ill in pregnancy yet (as in anything other than pregnancy symptoms), but I have noticed my physical resilience is dreadful - normal activity leaves me drained.

I think an 'everyday' illness that I'd normally work through could easily leave me wiped out so I'd probably cut myself a little bit more slack if I got ill than I would if I wasn't pregnant.

That's not about being pregnant though, more being realistic about how productive I'm going to be: sometimes I think one day of zero productivity (ie sleeping it off in bed) is better than showing up at work but being below par for days. And if you've got something contagious no-one will thank you for 'heroics'.

Sausage, I can sympathise as this is my first too and I was unsure of how to deal with sickness I was having. I got annoyed with some people's comments(men mostly)that you aren't ill, just pregnant. But that said, they or the less supporting people on here, can go do one IMO! It's your body, your little life you're protecting, so why the hell can't you have a little time off to feel better? Besides, is your sickness going to affect your performance atwork? If it is, then take a couple days off if you need to. At the end of the day, every single pregnancy is different albeit their similarities, but only you know how you feel and don't let anyone else tell you different. Always rest when you need to is the best advice I can give you and under the health and safety at work act for pregnant women, it says that the employer must allow for regular rest breaks when needed. Wishing you all the best with your first pg :) xx

I think you need to do what you need to do.
This

I very rarely take time off for sickness normally (avg 1 day per year normally, if that) as I prefer to just get on with things, dose myself up and carry on.

When I was 11wks pregnant with DC1 I was driving an hour each way to work and doing a full-on job when I got there, full time. I was going to bed at 8pm every evening just to get through the working week. If i didn't get all that sleep, I'd have to stop halfway on my commute for a rest, I was so exhausted. If I'd have got a cough or cold on top of that, it would've taken everything out of me and I would've had to take a day off. That's just how my pregnancy and my situation was and I'm not ashamed to have put my health and that of my baby first.

You've mentioned you've been very tired but you haven't said what sort of work/commute you've got so only you know what you need to do to cope and it's different for everyone. Do what you need to do.

I meant
this

Well said bakeoff - if you're already giving it everything you've got just to get through a normal day, you've got no reserves left to call on if you get ill on top of that.

That's not using pregnancy as an excuse, but being realistic about how pregnancy is affecting you.

Thank you all for your comments and outlook on things, it's actually been interesting to see the different points of view.

Blimey Minnie you appear to have read between the lines when there is nothing there, don't jump to assumptions, people are usually wrong when they do that and then you just look like a prize fool. I was merely wanting to gauge responses as to what others would usually do, if I'd have wanted an excuse to go home, I would have made my excuses and left and not bothered even posting on here, I'm an adult after all and don't need to beat around the bush.

As many of you have mentioned the productivity side of things, I have been less productive today, but that's mainly because the job I do requires a lot of thought and analysis, it can be very challenging and I can't risk getting things wrong, and as all of you are aware (maybe not minnie) things take a bit longer when not feeling 100%. But at least some things are getting done.

Some of you have also alluded to not wanting to play the hero and thereby infecting colleagues. I have been told to go home on two occasions today, once by a manager and another time just by another colleague. I do think part of that is that they do not want to become ill also. You do hear grumblings around the office when someone has come in to work ill, and I can understand that, I often try and keep a wide berth of people who come in the office who clearly have a contagious bug. Maybe a work force less 1 is better than a work force less 10 (this is not me giving myself an excuse not to come into work, I am just adding to the debate).

I wish I could respond to each of you individually but I have read all the comments and thank you all for taking the time out to respond. We're all going, or have been through, pregnancy, and any support or constructive feedback is always helpful and insightful.

mixi thank you for your wishes, wishing you the best also

Well we aren't talking about a women whose got a serious illness, a medical need or depression. I'm going on the facts as written by op. Perhaps you need reminding?

"I've come into work today even though I have terrible ear ache, which I get nearly every year around this time, as well as a sore throat, cough, dizziness and just generally feeling under the weather. If I wasn't pregnant, I would usually be reluctant to call in work because of this, however, now that I am pregnant (11 weeks +2) I'm wondering whether I should take it a bit easy and maybe go off sick for a couple of days. "

And

"Does anyone else call in sick during in pregnancy when they usually wouldn't?"

Based on these exact words I have questioned the op and pointed out a distinctly opposite view. I don't feel bad for doing that. Frankly if op couldn't take it from me an outside stranger how would she feel if suggested by a friendly coworker?

I have no where suggested not taking time IF she is unwell. Just forgive me if I'm a bit surprised a grown woman cannot decide if she's sick enough to stay off work or not without external help from strangers.

Oh yeah and the piece de resistance;

"I have been absolutely exhausted since coming back after the Christmas break which I have been putting down to jetlag as I had been away....."

cross post - I don't have a huge commute to work, maybe an hour travelling, not including waiting for buses and the walk from the bus stop to work (which is about 30/40 minutes) and vice versa, and I bloody hate waiting for buses at the best of times! But many of you will have much worse than that. I'm hoping to resolve this in the next couple of months by buying a car. We currently share my DPs company car but he has it most of the time and it just wouldn't be cost effective for me to park in town. When I am further along in my pregnancy I will have my own car and I will probably drive in to work then which will help.

I definitely sympathise with those of you who have hellish commutes, mine is nothing in comparison!

I do wish you well with the pregnancy. Just be very much more aware of your self during this time. Your still at the start. There's a long way yet in cold weather.

Then there's the joy of hot weather....

Minnie, I was asking about what other people do as I was curious, I was certainly not asking for your permission to take time off work. I have no issue in your opinion, you're entitled to it, go ahead, just take the post for what it is (a debate raising question about what pregnant women do now, compared to what they do when not pregnant, not what I should do, quite self explanatory really) and stop making assumptions.

Not hugely related, but I'm 6 weeks pregnant, and self employed. This is baby number 3 for me and I know I get chronic back ache until week 10 and sickness normally kicks in around week 7. I stopped working half day today to lie down because my back was killing...but I'm self employed I have the luxury of calling it a day (and no sick pay..!) but I would take it easier if you're pg than if you're not. I feel wiped out during pregnancy if I do too much or don't take the right time to recover. Take a day or two to recompose yourself, then get back to it :)

If you've been told to go home by a manager, go home! You are obviously not well enough to be at work, pregnant or not!

For me, I didn't ever find it complex. If I wasn't well enough to be at work, I wasn't well enough. I didn't think "ooh, I could manage, but since I'm pregnant I won't". But nor did I drag myself in when ill just to prove a point. Though I think in fact I probably had 3-4 sick days total across two pregnancies. Two one day for a nasty bug and a couple of others. Both pregnancies were over the winter, and I normally averaged one sick day a year, so probably one extra day where being pregnant (and the lack of good decongestant and painkillers) meant I was too sick to go in.

I was, however, lucky that I never needed pregnancy related sickness absence, which is obviously a different kettle of fish.

The thing with pregnancy though is that is is a time where you might think about taking time off and, as the OP says, call in sick during in pregnancy when they usually wouldn't. Because while it is perfectly normal, at the end of the day you are pregnant, and your body essentially is attempting to run two people rather than the usual one. So you are far more likely to feel shitter than usual with the normal things. And as much as you don't want to take the piss, it's not exactly the time to play the martyr either.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say. I would judge whether I took time off on how shit I felt. It is perfectly possible that the same cold/bug/whatever makes you feel worse when pregnant, therefore tipping you over into being too ill to go to work. But I don't think I ever consciously deliberated over the effect my pregnancy was having - I just thought "Am I well enough to go to work or not".

I'm not telling you what to do other than call in sick if you are sick. Don't if you aren't. Exactly what several other posters are saying. You specifically asked "Does anyone else call in sick during in pregnancy when they usually wouldn't?" A bit off tbh. It suggests others lied or obscured things in theirs. Particularly straight after the information you are tired after your own holidays abroad.

So, if you think I'm odd to have raised an eyebrow based on info given, this could be what your boss or colleague might think of too.

Minnie, she wanted reassurance because there is an overriding culture that if you are pregnancy you are not allowed to 'show weakness at work'. Its a taboo subject and sometimes if you are in that situation you just need someone to say "you know what, you're human, its ok and actually you are right to behave differently if you are pregnant".

It might not have been that the OP was asking as such, just more seeking reassurance for a decision that she felt she had to make.

If we all had your attitude there would be women in hospital having pushed themselves too much or just 'minor' symptoms.

The point is that minor is a lot more serious in pregnant women as their immune systems work differently. Its stupid to take a hard line against someone on this subject. And its deeply insensitive and doesn't understand half the problems.

As I stated things like ante-natal depression are very often undiagnosised because of the misconception that women are only more vulnerable after birth and not during pregnancy. It is important to recognise the emotional stresses that pregnancy raises that women might not be aware of.

As for your snotty little remark about jet leg... well I won't go there but to say that was just petty point scoring and not because you actually have a point to make.

Point scoring? I'm not actually interested in that. The op gave specific information. She asked a specific question for debate. I'm giving my point of view based on that. And she might give this type of info in a conversation at work and give off a persona she has no intention of doing. Would work colleagues not also notice that and connect?

I stated in an earlier post to ask DP how she appears too. For precisely your highlighted reasons. Often loved ones notice better than we can ourselves.

Op has responsibilities of which she needs to uphold pregnant or not. Showing a weakness isn't a problem if genuine need at work. Not that I personally view pregnancy as a weakness thanks. Most hr are extremely enlightened and experienced. Gossips tend not to care though.

Again, I have said all the way through take the time if you are sick. You should do absolutely (is no one reading just responding?!?) But don't bolster an illness if it's not necessary. One should know the difference surely? For that part I'm still unsure why being pregnant comes into it. If you wouldn't have done before why would you now? (Assuming no additional issues)

Well i think it's all down to how you are feeling, if it is a case of worrying what others will think then please don't let it bother you.

I have done the same thing to myself recently and questioned wether i believe i should give myself a bit more of a break now that i am pregnant (12+5)
I have recently started a new job as my previous had become too much for me to handle even before i was pregnant so i have only been working for my new employer for just over 4 months, because of this i think i have felt more guilty about taking time off because i am relatively new. But since about week six i have had on and off very bad morning sickness i have had days where i haven't been able to eat anything or keep anything down and by the second day have had absolutely no energy or get up and go but i have still been dragging myself to work and doing the best i could. This is until the other day when i had another bout of "bad days" and decided enough was enough and i don't deserve to make myself feel even crapper when i can just stay at home in bed and eat and puke till i'm blue in the face haha.

At the end of the day just take care of yourself and the little one!

Don't know why Minnie has such a bug up her butt about this but OP, being pregnant is slightly different as your immune system is lower so you will likely find it harder to recover etc than usual. I tend to work no matter how bad I am but at 7 weeks now and after 2 weeks of tonsillitis ( needing antibiotics which I NEVER take but was so so ill this time I gave in and took them) a winter vomiting and diarrhoea bug for 3 days and now I'm in my second week of a very nasty head cold and chest infection I have more respect for how hard pregnancy can be on your body (not always Minnie but sometimes it has an impact). Normally I would never really get sick and usually recover quickly but it's clear the pregnancy is making things harder for my body. So my point is, if you feel ok, go to work, but if you feel anyway miserable, take it easy because things escalate more readily when you are pregnant.

Definitely call in sick. I had ridiculous deadline when I was 17 weeks and got ill with bad head cold. I kept going to work even though I felt AWFUL and manager even denied my one day/week working at home day - I have a 2.5hr round trip on top of long working hours. I was very ill and became really worried I'd damaged baby as I didn't give myself a break. In the end I had 4 days in bed recovering from something that wouldn't usually have phased me and it continued to affect me much longer - 3+ weeks later I wasn't better. If I had that time again I'd have insisted on working from home at the very least bit should've phoned in sick. I was so scared I had hurt the baby and was devastated at the thought if it. Thankfully all was well at 20 week scan, but I learned my lesson. If you're ill. Take time off work!!

Goodness me, what an enlightenment! There are some intelligent women on here, it's nice to see some well thought out answers even if I don't agree with all. Minnie, I do agree with you to a point, don't look to pg as an excuse to get out of work, but really hon, you're very blunt and extremely defensive, and you ought to know better than to assume all women are the same, pg or not. Everyone has different reactions and coping abilities and some women's immunity goes down the toilet in pg rendering the most stalwart female into a pathetic mess. But, I'm sorry everyone made you a scapegoat, your essential points were perfectly sound. I guess my two pence worth is listen to your body, have the confidence to ignore everyone else and know that actually your employer isn't going to notice heroics if you force yourself to work (as I noticed today - I'm 25 weeks and have terrible head cold - no one cared that I made the effort to show my face despite the commute almost making me pass out, lesson learned), and equally, if you do call in sick, your employer has to respect that and if you feel they don't, you need to be adult and raise a complaint. I wouldn't worry about it personally, you're going to have a baby and when you're holding it, how much is a day or two out sick going to matter then?

Zombie thread Helena