Crying my eyes out after first trip to GP :(

[Hubbythecatandme]

Went to see (new) GP this morning to tell her I am pregnant and I now feel like such a crap future mum I have been crying my eyes out since I got back.
I weigh 106 kilos (16.69 stones), I had lost weight before getting pregnant but I stopped exercising and stopped dieting since BFP and so I have put weight back on. GP now sending me to a special clinic for women with BMI over 30. I feel like I am being irresponsible to this baby and he is not even born.
Secondly, I have been having occasional episodes of depression since the age of 17. Current medication (venlafaxin) keeping me stable and happy but GP didn't seem sympathetic with me taking me and she is sending me to antenatal department of hospital which specialize in mental health. I am dreading them making me stop my medication. I am coping well right now but the last thing I need is to get a nasty bout of depression and accompanying anxiety.
I feel like other mums to be all come to GP and get patted on the back and I am having to be sent to hospital because I have the potential to be the crap mum who can'r even loose weight for her baby.
I feel so upset and hurt. I have an image of the perfect pregnant woman I will never be. Poor baby of mine sad

Ha ha! "I imagine other mums are rich, slender, living in massive houses...."

If only! So not true.

You are pregnant (which many other women never will be), you are happy and you are clearly loving and loved. Many congratulations to you.

Please enjoy this special time and yes, take good care of yourself and take guidance on what is best for you and your baby. But hey! enjoy! YOU'RE having a baby!!!

And it will be loved. And you will be loved.

Don't worry about the medicine for now. See what your consultant says. If there had been any urgency and concern they would have whipped you in and stopped it. It may be they switch you to something more pregnancy friendly but I think that highly unlikely.

The other thing to remember is that if anything was to go wrong with medication affecting the pregnancy (where the risk is so so tiny for you) it probably would have happened by now as all the main elements of the baby develop so fast. so there is not much point in them changing it. With my lithium there is a 1:2000 chance it causes a heart defect but by the time I tested it would make no difference to come off because the damage would have been done. It's also very rare things go wrong too :)

Thanks for all your answers :)
You are right, I need to remember I am very lucky to have this lil 7 week old baby in me :)
I am going to go to the gym tonight to stop myself from worrying about all this, hopefully the endorphins will helps.
Depression and anxiety can be so taboo that I have somehow convinced myself I going to be the only mum with it in my very posh suburbia (we live in with in laws, long story). I keep seeing other mums who are slim and seemingly healthy and I really beat myself up for being pregnant and fat + on antidep!

I weighed in at 104kg on my GP visit last week. If I were in a vulnerable mood I'd have been in bits afterwards- "high risk" "delivery may be difficult" etc He was only delivering the facts, which I'd already researched, but he did nothing to reassure. Pregnancy isn't an illness, don't see why GP should be involved.

Ha ha! "I imagine other mums are rich, slender, living in massive houses...."

Skint, un attractively scrawny, in a 2 up 2 down. At the time.

Now, with a toddler

Skint- er, fatter, house feels even smaller :)

You will be such a great mum. You CARE. Don't let a twatty doctor spoil it. I had consultant led care, due to health issues. It was ace!

I agree Mel0dy, I was on my little cloud happily looking after myself everyday, today's visit has made me feel more stressed than I have been in months :(
Just got back from the gym. Felt good but I am not going to drive myself and baba mad over trying to loose weight at all costs. I am 7w by the way. Can't wait lil one being here so I can have the docs off my back lol!
I hadn't slept well last night because of worry of going to see doc, well jackpot she had me in tears...

Thanks unearthlychild. We live in a very affluent area because we are looking after my elderly father in law who is 90. We have our lil cosy bedsit above the garage hehe!
I am happy with the way our life is but sometimes when I see how much money the neighbours have I catch myself thinking "what kind of start are you going to give this child?!"
Then I remember it's not about money. Hubby and I both work (self employed so some months doing well, others having to be frugal!) and we have friends who have children and don't work and the kids are perfectly happy. Must remember that!

Aww thank you Paintyfingers, what a lovely thing to say xx