Please come and reassure me re MMC

[Eminybob]

A bit of background, I had a MMC in May at 7 weeks. I'd gone to the docs about something unrelated and mentioned about pains near my ovaries, she was concerned about ectopic so sent me for a scan the next day. Long story short it wasn't ectopic but the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks and no heartbeat.
I had medical management a few days later.
I was absolutely devastated and it took me a long time to get over it. For months I used to wake in the night crying and it was a difficult time for me and DP.

So, fast forward to now, I'm pg again and 11 weeks today. I asked for an early scan but was refused as I'd only had one MC before, but if I'm being honest, I was so scared that if I did have a scan the same thing would happen again and I kind of wanted to hang on to being pg for as long as possible so wasn't that bothered I didn't get the scan. Does that make sense?
Anyway, my 12 week scan is on Monday and I am just petrified. I swing from feelings of excitement about having a baby, to just being totally and utterly convinced that there will be no heartbeat. I have no reason to think anything will be wrong as I have all the symptoms, sickness, sore boobs, slight cramping which I put down to stretching. But that said, I had all that last time.

So please share your experience. If I've had a MMC would I have gotten this far without miscarrying naturally? Would I still have symptoms? How common is it for a MMC to be discovered at the 12 week scan?
I'm getting a bit of a bump too which surely I wouldn't if there was nothing there? Unless it's just bloating?

Sorry this is so long, and thank you if you've gotten this far. Any advice would be great, this is all so new to me.

first of all sorry to hear about loosing a baby, but congratulations on being pg again!

I had MC with my 5th pg.
I had a dating scan at 11+ 3, which looked ok apart from nuchal translucency measurement which is why I needed another scan 2 days later - by then there was no heartbeat

I can't take your fears away, but I had 2 healthy children since and as pg again just had dating scan for this one a week ago and all seemed ok.

so there's absolutely every chance that this baby of yours is perfectly healthy - although I totally understand why you are in such a state.
I was crying on the way to scan and was really worried something bad would be revealed.

I don't know what else to say but ill be praying that everything will be ok.
(hugs)

Thanks. I know things can go wrong at any time, even after seeing a heartbeat, but I will feel a lot more relieved if I can even get to that stage.

I don't think there is anything you can do about 'scan doom' other than grit your teeth and ask the sonographers to say as quickly as possible that they can see a heartbeat. The chances are everything will be fine, but if you've previously had a loss it's hard to believe that. I've had a lot of bad scan experiences and have been in tears before every scan in this pregnancy (I've had a lot at recurrent MC clinic). Now bricking it about 20 week scan even though I can feel baby kicking around.
FX everything will be fine and you get some lovely photos of your LO kicking around. Do post back and let us know.

I had 4 losses (2 MCs and 2MMCs) after years of IVF. I was shocked to fall pregnant naturally in the summer and like you was convinced that my 12 week scan would not be good news despite having raging pregnancy symptoms, needless to say everything was fine and I'm now 27 weeks.
It's only natural to feel the FEAR after a loss, try to take one day at a time as the anxiety never really goes away.
Let us know how it goes on Monday, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

I had a similar experience before DS, and to be honest there isn't anything that takes the anxiety throughout the whole next pregnancy. All you can so is try to accept that worrying won't make a difference to the outcome and bear in mind that you want to enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible. Good luck.

I had a MMC found at my 12 week scan last year (second pregnancy). It was awful, baby had died around 9 weeks.

I'm now 33 weeks pregnant, I spent the first 12 weeks fully expecting to have lost the baby again, and I sobbed at my 12 week scan when I saw it kicking and wriggling on the screen. I didn't relax until I was feeling regular kicks and wriggles, but I'm a natural worrier.

I was told that only 1% of pregnancies end in MMC by 12 week scan so it is rare to happen, and the way my DH tried to reason with me was "its so unusual anyway, what are the chances of it happening twice to us" which somehow reassured me slightly.

Good luck for the scan. I'm certain everything will be fine for you

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied. I know there's nothing I can do I just need to stay positive and hope for the best.
Sorry for all your losses too x

Hi Eminybob congratulations on your pregnancy. I had a MC in Feb after 2 years of trying and then at a 7 week scan with current pg was told it probably wasn't viable and to expect to miscarry. In the meantime my care got transferred to what I refer to as a real hospital and I had to wait till 13 weeks to know what was up! So I really sympathise. I was gibbering when I got to the hospital and couldn't stop crying even after I saw the baby wriggling around. Scan fear is vile and I don't think it mine will go away until there is a real live baby in front of me screaming its head off peeing and pooing all over the place (am now at 19 weeks).

My wonderful GP and gynaecologist said that MMC is extremely rare, even given all the awful and sad stories you read online. The gynaecologist also said that there are usually some symptoms of a MMC that are not that noticeable to many women, and when there is nausea and/or vomiting present then your chances are even lower of it being an MMC, less than 1% by 12 weeks. Also that it is really best to wait as long as possible before the first scan. By 12 weeks they can definitely tell you yay or nay and if you go for the NT scan too then that gives you even more information.

I see you have nausea and sickness and I had bad hg until 18 weeks so it made me feel better - but equally, again nothing to worry about if you are happily nausea-free. I am the ONLY one among my friends, colleagues and family who had morning sickness/hg

Bump is the beginning of bump but mainly bloat at 12 weeks I think but more experienced mums can let you know about that.

Let us know how it goes on Monday :)

I can't reassure you, OP but I am in the same boat. MMC previously and now (hopefully) 9 weeks. Symptoms come and go. Can't shake my negative thoughts. I just want to crawl under the duvet until the scan date. Life seems so irrelevant. I'm just waiting in limbo. This pg is like Schrödinger's cat to me.

Update - had scan today and everything is perfect! I was so happy and relieved that I actually wept. Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support. I'm sure it won't be long til I'm back worrying about the next thing!

That's great news. You've made it through the riskiest period. Hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy now.

ah, fantastic news, so happy for you!

(I cried as well, as soon as she said there was a heartbeat! )

Lovely news!!

Take care of yourself & your little baby. x

Lovely news!

Thats fantastic news Eminybob, I believe the miscarriage risks drop down to about 1% after a successful 12 weeks scan. I was a terrified mess at my scans. Had a mmc jan last year (after a long time trying for a baby), I had a feeling something was wrong (no symptoms) but was still the most awful shock to be told no heartbeat. I am now 40+11 and have had a great pregnancy, no morning sickness, only remember feeling really tired in first trimester. I have found every scan nerve wracking, even at scan today was tearful beforehand and so glad to be told baby healthy and normal. We've been through a trauma that has tainted pregnancy and it is hard to relax, but it hopefully won't be long until you get to feel movements and that's reassuring. Wishing you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy x

Yay! I cried at my 12-week scan too :) congrats!

Thank you everyone. Don't know hoe I'm going to sleep tonight I'm so bloody excited! It's so weird that although I've known I'm pregnant for 2 months and certainly felt it physically, it's only now that I really actually feel pregnant properly. It's the most amazing thing ever

I know how you feel. I went through IVF. I successfully became pregnant, got a scan at 7 weeks they could see a heartbeat but the embryo was measuring smaller than it should have been. I waited for my 12 week scan and thought surely that's a good thing if I have got to 12 weeks and had no pain/bleeding. Then the day came when they said there was no pregnancy there anymore. Totally devastated. I miscarried 2 weeks later. I don't think

Fortunately I am now pregnant again after using my only frozen embryo and now 15 weeks pregnant and over the moon about it. Like you I was petrified going for my 12 week scan. All I kept thinking was this is going to happen again.

When I saw my baby on the screen for the first time it was so emotional. I was so relieved.

So congratulations to us both!!!!

Ang that's great news for you congrats xx

Congratulations! So, so, happy for you xxxx now sleep while ou can.......

OP and anyone else who needs it, scroll up the 'Pregnanxy' thread list and look out for a title with 'Posifrickentivity' in it. It's a rolling thread for ladies PG after MC in any stage of PG, and a brilliant place for these little wobbles and the not so little ones and for finding support.
Come on over.