Morbidly Obese 29+3 and First Timer

[MrsWorryWort]

Hi Everyone
I have been reading the boards since I found out I was pregnant but have been reluctant to join for fear of being judged about my weight. However, everyone seems to be civil and respectful to one another so thought I'd finally pluck up the courage and join in.
I'm 35, had a previous miscarriage and have wanted to be a mam since I was a child myself. This is a much longed for baby and I can't wait to be a mam but I am so nervous and worry about everything!
My main worry is labour, I don't like pain but at the same time I'm not sure I want an epidural as don't fancy the idea of being confined to a bed for hours on end.
Can anyone recommend anything that I can do to try and curb my nervousness? I am going to my first antenatal class next week and it's for labour & birth but even the thought of going to that is worrying.

R.e labour. Just go with the flow. Read up on different pain relief options etc and go in with an open mind. Youmay find that you cope better than you anticipate and are ok with gas and air etc. Or you may feel that youd be more comfortable with some more aubstantial pain relief.

See how it goes and the midwives will also help you with best options. :)

Congratulations :)

And I have no idea if this is bad advice but when I had ds I was bloody terrified. He was unplanned ( but a great surprise) and I was almost 22 weeks when I found out. What prepared me was knowledge. Watching documentaries, reading books, things like one born every minute gave me an idea of what to expect. Personally tjat really really helped me as it wasnt a totally alien environment in labour. Obviously others will say different. Just depends what makes you feel comfortable.

Thank you.
I am the type of person who likes to know everything about everything even worse case scenario and I think you're right in saying that knowledge does help.
I think it's because i'm restricted as to what I can and can't do because I'm classed as a high risk e.g. would love to have a water birth but I'm not allowed.

If you are morbidly obese the anaesthesiologist will probably want to meet with you to discuss your pain options so you will probably have more options to discuss this with professionals (rather than just being given a little leaflet, which is what I got last week!) Take advantage of this and also talk to your midwife. Different hospitals have different drugs, etc, available so you will be best knowing what I'd available to you rather than what other people in different regions have had or preferred.

Sorry - I meant to add - knowing your options and talking it through may be the best way to settle your nerves.

Good luck with everything and congratulations in the baby

My advice is to go with what the Doctors and midwives tell you. They are doing what is best for your, there is no need to over think things, let them follow their expertise.

Only other advice is take a paracetamol in the early stages of labour. I wish I had, it will make it pass easier. the early stages are like period pain, no need to tire yourself out martying through that when it is ok to take a paracetamol.

Don't worry about the weight, we are all human and we all have niggles that we worry about, so just go with the flow, the staff will all respect you and treat you with dignity.

I have an appointment to see the anaesthetist next week to discuss my options so that will help to know what my options are.
I fully trust the midwives and doctors and will follow what they say, everyone (apart from one awful consultant!) has been really nice and looked after me so that's helped to put me at ease.
If it wasn't for my high bmi this would be a 'normal' healthy pregnancy so I should be thankful i'm not suffering with weight related issues!
I'll defo be taking the paracetamol in the early stages Molly, thanks for the tip :)

Have a look into hypnobirthing classes, or natal hypnotherapy CD. For me personally it really relaxed me when I had my DS, particularly in the last few weeks when I was starting to panic about labour!

I would slightly disagree with Molly - I wouldn't just go along blindly with what the dr and midwives tell you - for me I wouldn't feel in control of the situation if I didn't at least question why they were making their recommendations so I can make an informed decision about my care.

Glad the pregnancy is going well, good luck for the last 10 weeks :)

A friend of mine has offered me her natal hypno cd's so think I will give that a go, I'll try anything to calm my nerves!
I question everything, I need to know why's and wherefor's for my own peace of mind so although I'll follow what they say I have to fully understand it first! My DH says it's the control freak in me :D
Thank you Rock, the time is flying by so baby will be here before I know it :)

I was high risk and had problems with mobility. For differwnt reasons. Mostly spd and pelvis related. It did mean that I couldnt walk for 3 months of the pregnancy and I couldnt move arpund in labour.

As I was high risk I was monitoed constantly and had bits and pieces atuck tk me all through labour which meant moving wasnt really much of an option anyway.

The thought of this made me terrified! But it really wasnt as bad as I thought. I did tey the rwlaxing music etc.....but found it better to retreat into myself a bit and concerntrate. I didnt end up having pain relief but apparantley made noises like a cow everytime a contraction came. Haha. It did help though!

The midwives etc will be keen to have you active as possible....and even though you cant have a water birth ( I was gutted about that too) you may beable to have a bath at somepoint which I found massivley helped with pain. :)

Have a look at all options like tens machines too. Hospitals usually have then or you can hire/buy them x

Hiya

I'm obese (suspect morbidly so but not sure where the categories start and end at the moment!) and 33 weeks with DS2. Consultant care for both DC due to BMI, age 36 when I had DS1 and no problems in pregnancy related to BMI or othersie, so similar to yourself by the sound of things.

First pregnancy I was a similar weight to now (couple of stone lighter maybe) and planned a home birth using self hypnosis for relaxation and pain management (I'm a qualified hypnotherapist). I had to fight for it as support for a homebirth with high BMI isn't great, however they agreed, but in the end DS1 as breech and couldn't be turned with an ECV so I ended up with a c section! Couldn't have been more different to what I planned! DS2 will also be a c section at my request for various reasons.

With regards to preparing for the birth, I'd recommend learning some relaxation and self-hypnosis techniques as they really will help. If you could see a hypnotherapist for a 1-2-1 session or two, that would be ideal as they'll be able to work with you to build a bespoke plan that will be tailored to your needs. Then, practice a little bit every day and you'll really see a benefit.

I also read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding which I found fantastic for giving me confidence in myself and my body so would recommend these too - can't say enough good things about the Guide to Childbirth actually, found it fantastic.

Good luck!