Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Superstition

15 replies

chickitayarr · 10/01/2014 03:25

Just wondering if any of you have witheld announcing your pregnancy because you feel it might jinx your joyus news. Me and my dh have been trying for the past two years and I'm anxious to spill the beans to extended family atleast until our first scan. I'm 7wks currently : ).

I'm just waiting on my 12wk scan to really celebrate...when I know my baby's fine. Wonder if this is cultural or whether its common?

OP posts:

MrsCharlieD · 10/01/2014 03:56

I told immediate family and close friends straight away but didn't go public properly until after the 12 week scan. I'm now 18+6 and panicking something has gone wrong. The worry never goes away, even after 12 weeks x

MrsCharlieD · 10/01/2014 03:56

Congratulations btw!

Plateofcrumbs · 10/01/2014 07:45

Yes I think this is very common. Until I had a scan I had to preface everything I said to DH abot baby with "if this works out...", didn't want to think about any plans for later pregnancy or parenthood. I felt in a horrible limbo - like I was pregnant but not really pregnant yet.

Definitely didn't want to tell anyone, through fear of jinxing it, not wanting to get anyone's hopes raised, and not feeling ready myself to be excited about it.

We ended up having a scan at 9 weeks, and told immediate after this. Mostly because Christmas was in the way and everyone would have guessed when I wasn't drinking (they guessed the second I turned down a glass of wine!). I think the moment the sonographer said "look there's it's heartbeat" was the moment it started to feel real to me.

Am now 12 weeks, and it's much more real now, even though I'm still waiting for the 12 week scan - I'm not too worried as I know having seen the heartbeat was the critical thing, and I increasingly feel and look pregnant now. I let myself talk in terms of "when..." rather than "if...". If I'd not had the 9 week scan I'm not sure how I would feel right now, having another 3 weeks of limbo would have killed me.

Writerwannabe83 · 10/01/2014 08:54

Me and DH had scans at 7 and 10 weeks but still didn't tell family or friends until I was almost 14 weeks pregnant. We wanted to wait until after our 12 week scan and after our Nuchal Test results had come back. We wanted to know the baby was healthy and well before we started involving anyone else.

Mabelandrose · 10/01/2014 09:03

Having had a mmc I won't even acknowledge I'm 'really' pregnant until I have my 12 week scan. It's such a horrible time just waiting. Especially when the first trimester is when you need the most emotional support.

greentshirt · 10/01/2014 09:33

I was really anxious too and didn't go public until after the 12 week scan as even then just told a few people at work. I'd had 2 early scans so had some confidence at 12 weeks that everything would be ok. When we found out the sex I put it on fb to just get it over with!

My SIL has just found out she is 4+3 and told everyone. I can't help but feel that's a bit naive but it's a personal choice! If anything had gone wrong for us before 12 weeks we would have dealt with it alone anyway, past that point would have wanted the extra support so telling people wouldn't have made a difference

BeccaBrkr7 · 10/01/2014 09:50

I'm also 7 weeks and desperate to tell everyone!! Dp wants to wait till 12 weeks!!!

HazleNutt · 10/01/2014 10:01

No I didn't think it would jinx anything. I just didn't want to "un-tell" people if something happened.

RaRa1988 · 10/01/2014 11:10

We didn't tell anyone except for my best friend until 17 weeks. Personally, I think before 12 weeks is too early as there's a much higher chance of things going wrong, but it depends how you'd feel about telling people the news if that did happen. At least you'd have additional support I suppose.

Rockchick1984 · 10/01/2014 11:22

We told the people we would need support from if things went wrong. First time all was well and told everyone else at 12 weeks. Second time had a scan at 8 weeks, told everyone then and had missed miscarriage at 12 weeks so had to "untell" everyone which was horrible. This time we did the same as first time despite having early scans, am now 33 weeks. We told parents and best friend as we knew if I miscarried again we would need their help. I don't think anything jinxes a pregnancy, but didn't want to be in the same situation as last time if things didn't work out.

Original poster

chickitayarr · 10/01/2014 12:33

Rockchick- I'm sorry to hear about your previous miscarriage, that's really what I'm scared will happen and untelling people who have been rooting for me to concieve would break my heart. Congrats on being 33 wks : ).

Mrs CharlieS- Thanks luv, I'm glad I'm not being overly superstitious. I can't wait to tell my friends and siblings.

PlateofCrumbs- Are you showing at 12wks? Because my Dh says my bellys already hardening but I think he's exaggerating tbh lol

WriterWannabe- where you scans at 7 and 10 wks, private or via your gp? I have just only registered with mine so that's worrying, I thought the 'dating scan' was at 12wks? Please correct me if I'm wrong because I'm blissfully ignorant. Also what's a Nuchal test?

Does anyone take prenatal yoga because I read your supposed to excerise and the earlier I start the better? I want to do all I can to aid my baby and bump so any tips would be great guys. Massive worry warts as you can probably tell.

OP posts:

Spaghettinetti · 10/01/2014 16:40

I told my mum straightaway. My MIL at 10 weeks. My dad (my mum kept it a secret), brother, sister, FIL and SIL and employers at 12 weeks (after dating scan) and everyone else at 21 weeks. I had a MMC in May 2012 and had told quite a few people (close family and close friends)...which I afterwards felt was a big mistake. This time, I would have kept it secret for even longer if I could have...

ChicaMomma · 10/01/2014 16:46

I dont believe anything 'jinxes' a pregnancy- a miscarriage will happen whether you tell people or not.

The only reason we waited until week 12 was because i wanted the nuchal/genetic results first- god forbid they came back positive for chromosonal issues and we decided to terminate. It's not a decision we had made one way or another but i wanted options.

Plateofcrumbs · 10/01/2014 17:24

I'm not genuinely superstitious - I did have a sense of "not wanting to jinx it" but that was really about stopping myself getting emotionally invested as far as possible - I strongly felt I didn't want to assume too much or get my hopes raised when so much is uncertain in the early weeks.

chickita - am I showing at 12 weeks? I've got a mini bump (but TBH early-week bloating was about the same size!). I'm normally quite straight-up-and-down so I think if you were observant you'd notice if I was wearing tight clothes but so far it's not visible as long as I'm a little bit careful about what I wear (which I still need to do at work as I won't be telling them for a couple of weeks yet).

IShallCallYouSquishy · 10/01/2014 17:33

DD I announced after 12 week scan, that included parents. No one knew.

DC2 (currently 33 weeks) was announced at 17 weeks purely for the reason that we didn't even know I was pregnant until 15 weeks! Even so, that was after scan and would have been after 12 week scan if I had known earlier.

I know chances of m/c are low but DH and I decided that if we did get bad news it gave us time to deal with it before choosing who to share the details with.

Flip