I'm now 40 weeks + 5 days. I turned 40 in Oct, which means under my hospital's new policy I should be induced at 40 weeks due to risk of placenta failure. But the consultant I saw about 6 weeks ago said it was 'scare mongering' and saw no problem with me going over 41 weeks with monitoring. But everytime I see someone different (Dr or midwife) they have a different opinion on what should be done. I am absolutely phobic about internals, and have even got away with having a smear test. I just get into such a state I'm almost hysterical. I expect you're wondering how I got pregnant, but that's a different thing - and I know it's psychological and I just can't get past it. And with labour I feel more relaxed, because it's something coming out. I know it sounds wierd - I wish I wasn't like this.
Anyway, the hospital has been pushing for pessary and breaking waters, induction for over a week. I have managed to postpone it until Sat 11th - but they won't let me go any further and have told me that even leaving it 40 weeks + 3 days is risking still birth. But during all the monitoring - baby is fine and active, no problems. I also requested a scan which showed the placenta is good and blood flow to baby good. But I was really upset today during my monitoring, because a Dr I'd never seen was wandering around taking a look at things, and said my baby's heart rate was on the base line, and I wasn't doing him any good leaving him in there. He said it was very dangerous at my age. I told him I was only recently 40 in Oct - he said that was months ago - you can't leave him in there forever. Why are you refusing induction? He was so pushy. I said I would rather leave it to happen naturally and would rather go to the birth centre than labour ward and he tutted. I also said that I'd been told induced labour is more painful that natural, he said rubbish! He then said to the midwife there that I should have a sweep today to move things along! Then she assumed I had asked for one! I was so taken aback and getting upset. Then he disappeared and she was on about me having one (not being pushy) but saying I could possibly avoid the pessary Saturday if it works. She checked my blood pressure, and it was very high, so she took some bloods to check over lunch time and wanted to do more monitoring of baby because the Dr had said it was baseline. I had lunchtime to think about having a sweep. I couldn't stop crying, felt like such a fool in the hospital reception, but the whole thing had shook me up. Obviously I didn't want to risk my baby's health but I was in shock and the thought of a sweep terrified me. I was shaking and couldn't eat anything. I had to go back at 2 for more monitoring, blood results and blood pressure. My blood pressure was fine (it was him upsetting me), baby's heart reading was perfectly normal, and my bloods were fine. But she was still asking about a sweep as I've only got 5 days left to labour naturally. I just could not bring myself to say yes. I started shaking and crying again. I have tried finding positive comments on the procedure, but everywhere I read on the forums says how painful people found it and distressing and they lost blood and couldn't bear another etc etc. I just don't know what I'm going to do?! Time is running out for me and I have tried everything to bring on labour, pineapple, walking, bouncing on my ball, hot spicy food and sex. Nothing is doing it. The midwife said she could do a sweep on Weds and Fri in the hope something will happen, already I am upset and feel like crying about having it done Weds. Feel like I'm losing my mind. Some people may think 'stop being a big baby' but when you have a phobia it can be irrational - like people who cry at the sight of clowns for example. I never thought the end of pregnancy would be this stressful.