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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Stressed out and terrified!

2 replies

dessirie · 06/01/2014 17:15

I'm now 40 weeks + 5 days. I turned 40 in Oct, which means under my hospital's new policy I should be induced at 40 weeks due to risk of placenta failure. But the consultant I saw about 6 weeks ago said it was 'scare mongering' and saw no problem with me going over 41 weeks with monitoring. But everytime I see someone different (Dr or midwife) they have a different opinion on what should be done. I am absolutely phobic about internals, and have even got away with having a smear test. I just get into such a state I'm almost hysterical. I expect you're wondering how I got pregnant, but that's a different thing - and I know it's psychological and I just can't get past it. And with labour I feel more relaxed, because it's something coming out. I know it sounds wierd - I wish I wasn't like this.
Anyway, the hospital has been pushing for pessary and breaking waters, induction for over a week. I have managed to postpone it until Sat 11th - but they won't let me go any further and have told me that even leaving it 40 weeks + 3 days is risking still birth. But during all the monitoring - baby is fine and active, no problems. I also requested a scan which showed the placenta is good and blood flow to baby good. But I was really upset today during my monitoring, because a Dr I'd never seen was wandering around taking a look at things, and said my baby's heart rate was on the base line, and I wasn't doing him any good leaving him in there. He said it was very dangerous at my age. I told him I was only recently 40 in Oct - he said that was months ago - you can't leave him in there forever. Why are you refusing induction? He was so pushy. I said I would rather leave it to happen naturally and would rather go to the birth centre than labour ward and he tutted. I also said that I'd been told induced labour is more painful that natural, he said rubbish! He then said to the midwife there that I should have a sweep today to move things along! Then she assumed I had asked for one! I was so taken aback and getting upset. Then he disappeared and she was on about me having one (not being pushy) but saying I could possibly avoid the pessary Saturday if it works. She checked my blood pressure, and it was very high, so she took some bloods to check over lunch time and wanted to do more monitoring of baby because the Dr had said it was baseline. I had lunchtime to think about having a sweep. I couldn't stop crying, felt like such a fool in the hospital reception, but the whole thing had shook me up. Obviously I didn't want to risk my baby's health but I was in shock and the thought of a sweep terrified me. I was shaking and couldn't eat anything. I had to go back at 2 for more monitoring, blood results and blood pressure. My blood pressure was fine (it was him upsetting me), baby's heart reading was perfectly normal, and my bloods were fine. But she was still asking about a sweep as I've only got 5 days left to labour naturally. I just could not bring myself to say yes. I started shaking and crying again. I have tried finding positive comments on the procedure, but everywhere I read on the forums says how painful people found it and distressing and they lost blood and couldn't bear another etc etc. I just don't know what I'm going to do?! Time is running out for me and I have tried everything to bring on labour, pineapple, walking, bouncing on my ball, hot spicy food and sex. Nothing is doing it. The midwife said she could do a sweep on Weds and Fri in the hope something will happen, already I am upset and feel like crying about having it done Weds. Feel like I'm losing my mind. Some people may think 'stop being a big baby' but when you have a phobia it can be irrational - like people who cry at the sight of clowns for example. I never thought the end of pregnancy would be this stressful.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsHowardRoark · 06/01/2014 17:23

You poor thing, I'm sorry to hear that you are so unhappy at this late stage.

I can't advise you on induction but I would like to say that I had two sweeps with my last DC and they weren't painful at all. Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable but I lost no blood and it was very quick. My midwife was very experienced and said she wouldn't try if the cervix wasn't favourable.

Is there a midwife that you feel comfortable with that you could talk to about it without the 'threat' of the procedure?

HomeHypno · 06/01/2014 17:31

Sending you hugs and hope this baby makes an appearance soon naturally! Sorry to hear you are under such pressure. The normal scan is very reassuring, including a consultant saying that they are happy for you to carry on past due date.

I have never thought of sweeps as being anything as dramatic as what I read on the internet. In reality most women just stare into the ceiling and say they felt mostly nothing, just like having an awkward internal. Explain your fears to your midwife and make sure she knows to STOP as soon as you say so, if you don't wantto carry on. A sweep can give you up to 50% chance of starting labour naturally in the following 48 hours so it is worth a try, if you feel up for it. If you don't want to have one on the day, just decline. The midwivesare pushing it because they know it works but I am sure they won't take it personally if you say no....

Every hospital has a supervisor of midwives (usually one of the managers or senior midwives) that you can request to speak to if things seem to get impossible. Most supervisors are very pro womens choice and natural birth, and can help make sure you get a clear birth and can help ensure people get off your back and stop telling you different things at every turn. The hospital website will hopefully have a link on this, or there may be a poster in the noticeboard in the waiting room.

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